Ordering Like A Headless Chicken

, , , , | Right | February 5, 2020

(We have a family — a mother and her two girls: one teenager and one pre-teen — that comes in every week. All three of them are obnoxious, particularly the pre-teen.)

Coworker: “Okay, and what’s the next sandwich?”

Pre-Teen: “Um… MOMMA! WHAT DID I GET LAST TIME?!”

Mom: “I don’t know! You order your own food!”

Pre-Teen: “Ummm… Can I get a six-inch… chicken Neapolitan?”

Coworker: “I’m sorry?”

Pre-Teen: “A CHICKEN NEAPOLITAN!”

Coworker: “We don’t have a sandwich by that name.”

Pre-Teen: “YES, YOU DO! I HAD IT LAST TIME!”

Me: “Do you mean the chicken chipotle?”

Pre-Teen: “YES! THAT THING! DUH! A SIX-INCH CHICKEN CHIPOTLE! That’s what I said in the first place!”

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Customer Reactions Are A Lottery

, , , , | Right | January 9, 2020

(This occurs the night of a drawing for a large-winnings lottery. It’s the highest the payout has been in recent memory, and everyone is buying lottery tickets for it, even those who don’t normally play. All day long, I’ve gotten, “[Number of Plays] of [Game]” in response to my, “How are you?” and I’m getting sick of being seen as a lotto robot instead of a person. I get one too many customers doing this, and finally I snap.)

Me: “Hi! How are you?”

Customer: “[Game].”

Me: *irritated* “Really? That’s funny, I’m feeling pretty [Other Game] myself; thank you for not asking!”

(The customer gapes at me while the line goes quiet, and I immediately realize I’ve let my customer service go. Before I can even begin to apologize, the customer laughs.)

Customer: “I’m sorry, I deserved that. I’m fine, thank you. How are you?”

(I and the line visibly relaxed, and his transaction ran smoothly. Everyone in line after him who heard me made sure to respond to me properly and politely.)

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Love And Candy Go Hand In Hand

, , , , , | Right | November 21, 2019

(I’m working in the women’s department. We only sell clothing and a few accessories, but we have a small dish of candy that customers can take from for free. A mother with a daughter who’s about five and a son of eight comes into the department.)

Boy: “Mom, is anything in here free?”

Mother: “No, nothing in life is free. Only the candy in this store is free.”

Girl: “Momma, love is free.”

Mother: *to boy* “Your sister is right; love is free, but that’s it.” *to the girl* “Good one!”

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That Price Is Phone-y

, , , , | Working | November 11, 2019

(The smartphone brand I have has just released a new model. Usually when this happens, my cell phone carrier drops the price of all of the older models. The day before this story, my mom had just gotten one of the older models for herself. I had been interested in the same one she got, and she tells me it is only costing her $15 per month, so I decide I will go get one for myself. I go to the store that is closest to her house, which is, to my knowledge, the store she always goes to.)

Me: “Hi, I’m interested in getting a [phone model]. My phone number is [number].”

Salesperson #1: “Okay, let me pull up your account… Great! It looks like you are eligible for a new phone today. Can I ask you why you are interested in the [phone model] specifically?”

Me: “Honestly, the price is my biggest motivation, and I just found out that it is the same size as my current phone, so I don’t have to buy a new case.”

Salesperson #1: “That’s definitely a bonus; however, I don’t actually have any more [phone model] in stock. They have been on backorder for weeks. I could get you a [newer phone model] for only $5 more per month, though. It has a lot more features and will last you longer before losing software support.”

Me: “Hmm… I’m not really interested in that. Are you sure you don’t have any more? My mom was actually just in here yesterday and got one for herself.”

Salesperson #1: “Yeah, we’re definitely out. She must have gotten it at a different store, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re out now, too. They’re going fast.”

Me: *sigh* “Okay… So, the [newer phone model] is $20 per month?”

Salesperson #1: “No, it’s $25. $5 more than [phone model].”

Me: “What? That’s odd, because my mom said she is paying $15 for hers…”

Salesperson #1: “That’s not possible. The price has been the same for over six months. Unless there was some sort of store-specific promotion at the location she got it, I have no idea how she could have gotten one cheaper.”

Me: “As far as I know, she got it here. This is the closest store to her house and I’ve never heard that she has gone anywhere else.”

Salesperson #1: “It definitely wasn’t here. We have not changed our prices and there is no scheduled price drop coming up, either. What’s her phone number? Let me look up her account…”

(I give her the number)

Salesperson #1: “Oh… She is paying $15 for it. That is very strange and I have no idea how it happened. But I can see it definitely wasn’t here; I have no record for her at all at this location. I guess all I can tell you is to find out which store she went to and see if they still have that sale going on.”

(I leave the store and text my mom.)

Me: “Where did you get your phone?”

Mom: “[Store I am at]. It’s the only one I go to. Why?”

Me: “They told me they have no record of you ever being here and have no idea how you got your phone so cheap because they are supposed to be $20 per month.”

Mom: “What the f***?”

(The next day I call the next closest store I can find)

Me: “Hi. I was wondering if you have any [phone model] in stock.”

Salesperson #2: “Yes, we have quite a few! Which color were you looking for?”

Me: “Oh, that doesn’t really matter to me. But, before I go further, can I confirm with you the price for that one?”

Salesperson #2: “The [phone model] is currently $15 per month.”

Me: “Great! That’s what I thought, but…”

(I tell him about my interaction at the other store the day before)

Salesperson #2: “Well, she was right in saying that the price was that much for the past few months, but the [newest phone model] just came out, so of course, the price of all the older phones dropped! That is what always happens. I have no idea how she didn’t know that.”

(To her credit, the first salesperson didn’t feel overly pushy or like she was lying to me just to get me to buy a more expensive phone, but I didn’t think she was particularly new or inexperienced, either. The fact that she was so adamant about not only the wrong price, but also about my mom never having been in the store, is what baffles me! I am now enjoying my new phone just fine, and my mom has decided to start doing business with the store slightly further away.)

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Been There, Done That, Complained At The T-Shirt

, , , | Right | November 6, 2019

(A woman from out of state comes into our travel agency.)

Customer: “I want to talk to someone about things to do in this area.”

Me: “Okay, where were you thinking of going?”

Customer: “No, I want to talk to someone who works in the travel department.”

Me: “That would be me, ma’am; I can help you.”

Customer: “Fine, I don’t know where I want to go; that’s why I want to talk to someone.”

Me: “Okay, have you visited the coastal area yet? There are a lot of little—”

Customer: *cutting me off mid-sentence* “Yes, I already did the whole coast.”

Me: “Okay, well, what sorts of things are you interested in seeing or doing?”

Customer: “Things I haven’t seen or done before.”

Me: “Do you want to spend time in nature? Or go to museums? Or shop?”

Customer: “I don’t want to go shopping, I could do that anywhere! I want you to help me go somewhere I haven’t been!”

Me: “Okay, how about Bethel? That is inland and has a nice scenic drive.”

Customer: “No, I already spent time there.”

Me: “Okay, how about Bangor? They have museums and a nice downtown area.”

Customer: “No, that’s way too far away!”

(Bangor is two hours away.)

Me: “Okay, so it sounds like you have pretty much explored everything locally within a two-hour distance. I’m not sure what to advise you at this point.”

Customer: “How about New Hampshire? What is there to do there?”

Me: “Oh! Yeah, if you want to travel there, you could do the White Mountains or Lake Winnipesaukee area!”

Customer: *sighs* “No, I have already seen that.”

Me: “Well, I don’t think I can help you. Here are guides on both states; maybe if you read through them you’ll find something that interests you.”

Customer: “This is why I wanted to talk to someone!”

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