Little Miss Entitlement

, , , , , | Right | March 20, 2020

(I’m sitting across from some not-so-nice customers. They have small children misbehaving. The youngest just chucked their plate of food down on the floor.)

Mom: “Oh. You. You!” *snapping at her waiter now*

Waiter: “Yes? My name’s [Waiter]. Oh, no, you dropped your plate!”

Mom: “No, she disagrees with the food. My child’s intelligent and gifted enough to know what she wants. This is a sign that your food is not to her taste and I demand a free meal for this poor treatment.”

Waiter: “I’m sorry?”

Mom: “Are you saying my child’s not an equally valued customer like the rest of us?! How rude! Does this establishment not value children?”

Waiter: “Um, I’m sorry about that. I’ll go run to the back and get this settled.”

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They’re Not Playboying Around

, , , , | Right | March 13, 2020

(I am busy putting stuff up in our back-to-school aisle when a nervous older woman sidles up to me.)

Older Woman: “Excuse me… Um… Do you happen to have… Um… a certain magazine? Oh, I’m so embarrassed.”

Me: “We might, ma’am. What’s the magazine?”

Older Woman: “Playboy.”

Me: “Um, no, ma’am, we don’t carry magazines like that here.”

Older Woman: “Well, someone told me that I would recognize one of the girls there in the magazine.”

Me: *blushes* “Okay, ma’am, well I’m not sure what you’d like me to do.”

Older Woman: “You can order it, right?”

Me: “No, it’s not something that we carry.”

Older Woman: “How about the other store in the area?”

Me: “No, our company does not stock that magazine.”

Older Woman: “You’re a horrible person! Where’s your manager?”

(I walk around the corner, put on a different name tag and my reading glasses, and come back.)

Me: “Is there something I can help you with?”

Older Woman: “Yes! Your employee won’t sell me smut!

Me: *close to tears laughing* “Well, ma’am, he’s right. We don’t carry any smut. Please go somewhere else.”

Older Woman: “I don’t say this to everyone, young man, but f*** you.”

(The customer stormed out. I thought my disguise would be pretty obvious, but she was probably just too mad to care.)

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A Vacation With No End Date? Must Be Nice

, , , , | Right | February 17, 2020

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]; how can I assist you today?”

Caller: “I want to book a flight to Virginia Beach for Christmas break.”

Me: “Okay, and what day would you like to leave?”

Caller: “Oh… I didn’t know you were going to ask me that… I guess I’ll have to call back.”

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When You Become A Parent, You Become The ONLY Parent

, , , , | Right | February 7, 2020

(I’m working a kiddie ride at an amusement park, and the ride is full. A little girl rushes to get on, but I stop her.)

Me: “Excuse me, sweetie. Can you wait?”

(The little girl ignores me, so I gently grab her and stop her from sprinting up the stairs. Her mother steps forward.)

Mother: “She’s only two.”

Me: “It’s all right.”

Mother: “You should be able to deal with little kids; it’s your job.”

Me: “I’m fine, miss. The ride’s just full, so I couldn’t let her on.”

Mother: “You could have told her parents.”

Me: “I don’t always know who the parents are, miss.”

Mother: “You could have looked up and seen me standing right here.”

Me: “Along with seven other parents.”

(She got all pissy and grabbed her kid and ran off.)

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They Probably Can’t Count Higher Than Five

, , , , | Right | February 5, 2020

(We have a special right now where, depending on what sandwich you order, for either $4, $5, or $6, you get a small sandwich and a drink. Secondly, you can add bacon or avocado to a sandwich for an extra charge; however, if you do that, the sandwich no longer applies to the $4, $5, or $6 deal. Some people don’t understand that. A customer comes in and orders a small turkey sandwich, which applies to the special, but adds bacon and avocado.)

Coworker: “Okay, that’s [total].”

Customer: “Why is it so expensive?!”

Coworker: “Well, you got a turkey bacon avocado; both the bacon and the avocado are $.75 extra.”

Customer: “But it should be $5 for the sub and the drink!”

Coworker: “Yes, if you got the plain turkey, but you added on the bacon and avocado.”

Customer: “I don’t understand.”

(I finally come over since it seems like my coworker is just going in circles with the customer.)

Me: “All right, so, it comes to [even higher total] because the sandwich is [total] by itself, plus the bacon and avocado which makes it [higher total], plus the drink which makes it [even higher total].”

Customer: “But I got a turkey last night with a drink and it was only $5!”

Me: “Right, but it didn’t have bacon or avocado. Those are both $.75 extra plus the drink.”

Customer: *shakes her head* “I don’t understand.”

Me: “Okay. The turkey with veggies and cheese without bacon and without avocado is [total]. If you add both of those, it becomes [higher total]. Then, if you add the drink it becomes [even higher total]. I apologize; we should have told you the additional charges for the bacon and avocado, so for tonight only, I will ring it through as a plain turkey so it will only come to $5 with the drink.”

Customer: “Okay… Wait, why is it only $5 now?”

Me: “Because this one time I’m not charging you for the bacon and avocado.”

Customer: “So… it comes to what now with the drink?”

Me: “$5.”

Customer: “Oh, okay… Thanks… I’m still confused, but thanks.”

(I ring her through and leave to take care of the growing line. My coworker goes back to the register to ring someone else through only to find the previous customer still standing there.)

Coworker: “Erm… can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah… I know it came to $5 now… but how much would it be if I added soup and chips?”

(The customer proceeded to hold up the line for another five minutes trying to decide if it was worth it to buy chips and a soup.)

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