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Missing Out On The Spectacle

, , , | Right | May 25, 2010

(I am working at the theater for a 3D movie and giving out the glasses.)

Customer: “The 3D isn’t working. I want a refund.”

Me: “Oh, well, it could just be a problem with the glasses. Let me give you a new pair.”

Customer: “You mean I have to wear the glasses?”


This story is part of our 3D Movies roundup!

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For Signs Of Stupidity, The Buck Stops Here

, , , , | Right | March 8, 2010

(We are responsible for the placement of traffic signs. I get this call from a resident where we just placed a deer crossing sign.)

Me: “Hello, [Government Office]. How may I help you?”

Resident: “Yes, you just placed a deer crossing sign down the street from my house.”

Me: “That’s right.”

Resident: “Well, I am not happy with its location. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of deer cross the roads in my neighborhood.”

Me: “What is your concern about its location?”

Resident: “I’d like you to move it down the road a few yards. It would be a lot more convenient if the deer knew to cross there. Can you do that before they get used to it where it is?”


This story is part of the American States roundup!

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May Be Stupid But Having A Ball

, , , , , , | Right | February 4, 2010

Customer: “The stop button on your roulette wheel isn’t working.”

Me: “Let me see.”

(I put a token into the machine. I allow the customer to play to show me what’s wrong.)

Customer: “See, now when I hit the stop button, it keeps going.”

Me: “The stop button only starts it slowing down to stop.”

Customer: “No, I mean the ball.”

Me: “Sir, the button does not control the ball.”

Customer: “What does?”

Me: “Physics?”


This story is part of the Confused-With-Science-themed roundup!

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When ‘Geography For Dummies’ Is A Step Up

, , , , | Right | July 21, 2009

(A customer called to check on the status of a mail order she mailed a week prior. I mentioned that mail orders are sent to Albany, NY.)

Customer: “Where are you?”

Me: “I am in Bangor, Maine.”

Customer: “Oh. Is that in New York?”

Me: “No. It’s… Bangor, Maine.” pause “Bangor is a city in the state of Maine.”

Customer: “Really? Where is Maine?”

Me: “It’s northeast of New York. It is the most northeastern state in the country. It borders New Hampshire to the east.”

Customer: “It borders what?”

Me: “New Hampshire.” *long pause* “New Hampshire is also a state.”

Customer: “…huh. Never heard of it.”


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