It’s the morning rush in a downtown McDonald’s. The line has grown since I’ve been in it. Every customer has been in line at least five minutes, if not longer. I overhear a cashier serving the line next to mine ask:

Cashier: “Sir, what would you like to order today?”

Customer: “I just don’t know, there are so many choices.”

Cashier: “Well, if you’re still deciding, can I serve the next customer?”

Customer: “What do you recommend?”

There is a special kind of look I’ve seen only a few times. The cashier’s jaw muscles seemed to lose their ability to close her mouth. Her eyes kind of drooped, and I saw her will to exist just kind of escape. She wasn’t angry or sad, just tired of dealing with people. Her response.

Cashier: “I’d pick something from the menu…”

Then my order was called, and I grabbed it and left. He was still deciding as I was walking out the door.

I’m a closing manager at a really busy store on a Saturday. I jumped on a register to help out my one and only cashier as we had a line to the back of the building. I’m ringing up my customer, and a woman interrupts the transaction, waving an item in my face.

Woman: “I just bought this from here; can you tell me what batteries I need?”

Me: *Still scanning my customer’s items.* “We’re extremely busy at the moment, ma’am. Please get the instructions out of the box, and it should tell you, as I don’t know off the top of my head.”

A few minutes later, as I’m still ringing up customers with baskets full, here she comes again.

Woman: “It doesn’t say what batteries it requires in the instructions.”

Me: *To my current customer.* “Could you please give me a minute?”

The customer kindly nods, and I walk over to this woman and open the instructions booklet for her item.

Me: “Ma’am, it says right here on the first page you need three AA batteries.”

Woman: “Oh, okay! I got it.”

I go back to my customer I was waiting on, but here she comes again…

Woman: “Where are your batteries at?”

I point to all the displays within eye shot.

Me: “There, there, and there.”

Another few minutes go by, and she interrupts me AGAIN!

Woman: “I can’t find what I need.”

I ask my customer, who I was waiting on, to excuse me for a second. I pranced my a** to the batteries and put in her hand a pack of 4 AA batteries.

Me: “This is what you need.”

I get through my long line, and give my cashier a high five for kicking a**. As I turn around to go back on the floor to do manager stuff… HERE SHE COMES AGAIN.

Woman: “You didn’t give me the right batteries!”

Me: *In disbelief.* “I gave you exactly what you needed.”

Woman: “No, you didn’t!  I only need three AA batteries, and you gave me four. I’ve been looking for the three pack.”

Me: “Ma’am, batteries are sold in twos, so you get two, four, or eight batteries at a time.”

I walked away after that as I genuinely had a lot of managerial work to do. She was still there, looking at the batteries, an hour later…

Related:
A Battery Of Questions, Part 2
A Battery Of Questions

A few years back, I’m swimming with my three-year-old son. We had the pool to ourselves apart from one other lady.

The pool is L-shaped, split into the main bit with lanes, and a square bit that was notionally the kids’ pool, but only because it’s shallower.

My son was learning to swim without armbands, and so we were in the wide lane, while the lady was swimming in the narrow lane, labelled Adults Only.

After one length of my son swimming a whole length with me encouraging him, she says:

Lady: “You can’t swim here; this is adults only.”

Bull-s*** lady, you’re in the adults-only bit. Except, I can’t say that in front of my very eloquent three-year-old.

Me: “It’s just your lane that’s adults only, look, there’s the sign. My son is learning to swim lengths.”

She starts ranting at me about how she pays her membership fees (so do I, funnily enough) and I’m wrong (check the sign) and basically having a tantrum.

Lady, I’m Mum to a three-year-old. I can handle this behaviour, and I’m gonna speak to you exactly as I would to my child, probably in the same tone of voice, because I’m in Mummy mode, and my son is listening.

Me: “I can see you’re upset about this, but I’m very sorry, we are allowed to swim here.”

She rants a bit more, and I very calmly gentle parent her, until she eventually sputters and tells me:

Lady: “Shut up!”

And flounces off.

Son: “Mummy! She just told you to shut up! That’s so rude!”

I made no effort to speak quietly and said:

Me: “Yes, it really was. She was cross because she couldn’t get her own way. But you’re right, it’s very rude to say that to someone.”

We then proceeded to swim a good few more lengths, and I very vocally and cheerfully encouraged him the whole time.

Went to the front desk after to double-check I was right (I was). Apparently, she’d also been to complain and been told to suck it up.

I take a customer call when we open, around 9 AM.

Caller: “Your store is closed, and you need to come and open it!”

Me: “Ma’am, the store is open.”

Caller: “I’m standing outside right now, and it’s closed with the lights off!”

Me: “Where is the store?”

Caller: “[College Campus]!”

Me: “West Virginia? You’re calling a store in Maryland.”

Caller: “Well, they weren’t picking up, so I called the first number I could find on Google!”

Me: “That branch is a college store, and they’re closed because it’s spring break.”

Caller: “So you’re gonna come over here and open the store for me!”

She said it as a demand, not a question.

Me: “No, ma’am. That store will reopen when the college does.”

Caller: “But I need a book now! You need to come and open the store!”

Me: “I’m a four-hour drive away.”

Caller: “Fine, I can wait until after lunch.”

Me: “Ma’am… I feel you’re misunderstanding why I’m telling you how far away I am. I will not be driving four hours to help you get a book, only to drive four hours back. There are other bookstores in your town. Go to one of those.”

Caller: “They’re all the way across town!”

Me: “And you’re asking me to drive across two states.”

Caller: “Ugh, you lazy b****!” *Click.*

At my hotel chain, higher status guests are eligible for comped upgrades IF it’s available.

Guest: “I want an upgrade tomorrow.”

He’s here about eight nights.

Me: “Unfortunately, an upgrade is not available for the whole duration, as we are sold out on Saturday.”

Guest: “Give me the upgrade until Saturday, and then I’ll switch back over.”

We switched him over. Fast forward to Saturday, and no issues. On Sunday, around 5 pm, he comes down:

Guest: “I want to switch to the upgrade again for the rest of my stay.”

At this point, he is staying for four more nights, and on the last night, it is not available.

Me: “Unfortunately, we aren’t able to do that.”

He throws a mini tantrum and storms away.

Not even two minutes later, he uses the hotel chain’s app to text us. He went on about how he was told he could switch. I replied:

Me: “We apologize if there was miscommunication, but we are not able to accommodate the request.”

Guest: “Well, what are you going to do to make this right?”

Um… Nothing?! It would have been a COURTESY upgrade.

Me: “I will talk to my front desk about how we could have communicated better.”

Guest: “Well, I’ll just go where communication is honored.”

Okay, bye?!

I went in and upgraded everyone I could, so now the suites aren’t available for any of the remaining nights that he’s here.