I worked at a convenience store. I take a call on the store phone.

Caller: “I’d like to book an appointment.”

Me: “Ma’am, this is a convenience store.”

Caller: “Yes, I know. I’d like to book an appointment.”

Me: “You don’t need to book an appointment, ma’am. You can come in here whenever you want.”

Caller: “No. I want an appointment when you can guarantee that no one else will be in the store.”

Me: “We don’t do that. We’re a convenience store.”

Caller: “Then why are you being inconvenient!”

Me: “I’m inconveniencing one to convenience many.”

Caller: *Click.*

My husband and I own a small bakery/sweet shop. We work seven days a week, and also during holidays. Our busiest days are Christmas Eve and Christmas, New Year’s Eve, etc. We work from 9-9:30 in the morning until almost midnight every single day. We basically live in our shop. We only close the shop for a week in August, and even that doesn’t happen every year. 

But once a year, on Easter Sunday, we work until 3 PM, and then we close the shop and go meet our family and friends to celebrate the day in the country. We are always looking forward to this one and only half-free day.

Anyway, some people don’t like that. Last year, I had a customer complaining because he wanted to buy his ice cream after the Easter lunch and not before, for reasons I guess.

But this year I had this “lovely guy.” He bought some sweets and then asked:

Customer: “Why does the sign say that you close at 3 PM today?”

Me: “Well, since it’s Easter, we are closing early today.”

Customer: “But what happens if someone wants to shop in the afternoon today?”

Me: “Since it’s Easter, most people buy their sweets until noon. We don’t see many people in the afternoon, and it gets very quiet here after 3 PM. In fact, we kept the shop open once during Easter, and we helped only one customer after 6 PM.”

Customer: “For that one and only customer, you are REQUIRED to stay open. That’s the professional thing to do.”

Me: “Sir, we stay open all the time. We don’t know what it means not to work on Sundays or Christmas. We have the right to take half a day off.”

Customer: “You should hire people to be here if you want to take days off.”

Me: “No, we shouldn’t. We have the right to close our own business and go eat with our families once a year. Now, please go and have a happy Easter.”

I don’t think I’ll see this one again.

I’m working in a library. One of the patrons in the study area has been talking loudly for long enough that she’s been shushed by other patrons twice. After a third shush, she starts yelling.

Me: “Ma’am! You can’t be yelling in the library.”

Patron: “I don’t see a sign that says be quiet.”

Me: “It’s pretty well implied worldwide that libraries are supposed to be quiet places.”

Patron: “I don’t do “implied,”—” *Finger quotes.* “—I do signs!”

Other Patron: “Oh, cool! There are no signs saying I can’t pee all over noisy patrons, and since the restrooms on this floor are so far away…”

The other patron walks over and makes a show of reaching for his fly.

Patron: “Stop! Go away! Eww!”

Other Patron: “There’s no sign telling me I can’t.”

The patron grabs her laptop and phone and hurriedly makes her way to the exit.

Me: *To the other patron.* “Thank you, sir. I can’t believe we might have to put up a sign asking people to be quiet in the library… or not to pee on noisy patrons.”

Other Patron: *Sad.* “Aww…”

It’s the morning rush in a downtown McDonald’s. The line has grown since I’ve been in it. Every customer has been in line at least five minutes, if not longer. I overhear a cashier serving the line next to mine ask:

Cashier: “Sir, what would you like to order today?”

Customer: “I just don’t know, there are so many choices.”

Cashier: “Well, if you’re still deciding, can I serve the next customer?”

Customer: “What do you recommend?”

There is a special kind of look I’ve seen only a few times. The cashier’s jaw muscles seemed to lose their ability to close her mouth. Her eyes kind of drooped, and I saw her will to exist just kind of escape. She wasn’t angry or sad, just tired of dealing with people. Her response.

Cashier: “I’d pick something from the menu…”

Then my order was called, and I grabbed it and left. He was still deciding as I was walking out the door.

I’m a closing manager at a really busy store on a Saturday. I jumped on a register to help out my one and only cashier as we had a line to the back of the building. I’m ringing up my customer, and a woman interrupts the transaction, waving an item in my face.

Woman: “I just bought this from here; can you tell me what batteries I need?”

Me: *Still scanning my customer’s items.* “We’re extremely busy at the moment, ma’am. Please get the instructions out of the box, and it should tell you, as I don’t know off the top of my head.”

A few minutes later, as I’m still ringing up customers with baskets full, here she comes again.

Woman: “It doesn’t say what batteries it requires in the instructions.”

Me: *To my current customer.* “Could you please give me a minute?”

The customer kindly nods, and I walk over to this woman and open the instructions booklet for her item.

Me: “Ma’am, it says right here on the first page you need three AA batteries.”

Woman: “Oh, okay! I got it.”

I go back to my customer I was waiting on, but here she comes again…

Woman: “Where are your batteries at?”

I point to all the displays within eye shot.

Me: “There, there, and there.”

Another few minutes go by, and she interrupts me AGAIN!

Woman: “I can’t find what I need.”

I ask my customer, who I was waiting on, to excuse me for a second. I pranced my a** to the batteries and put in her hand a pack of 4 AA batteries.

Me: “This is what you need.”

I get through my long line, and give my cashier a high five for kicking a**. As I turn around to go back on the floor to do manager stuff… HERE SHE COMES AGAIN.

Woman: “You didn’t give me the right batteries!”

Me: *In disbelief.* “I gave you exactly what you needed.”

Woman: “No, you didn’t!  I only need three AA batteries, and you gave me four. I’ve been looking for the three pack.”

Me: “Ma’am, batteries are sold in twos, so you get two, four, or eight batteries at a time.”

I walked away after that as I genuinely had a lot of managerial work to do. She was still there, looking at the batteries, an hour later…

Related:
A Battery Of Questions, Part 2
A Battery Of Questions