(I work in a very small restaurant, and as such we don’t take reservations because we don’t have enough tables to hold any without our wait being ridiculously high. We don’t have a website, though, and it’s my job to answer the phone, so I field a lot of reservation questions.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like to make a reservation.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t take reservations.”

Customer: “Well, I’m looking at a website that says you do!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have a website. If you’d give me the name of it, I’ll let my manager know so it can be taken down, as it wasn’t created by us.”

Customer: “Uh…”

(Yeah, that’s what I thought.)

This story is part of the Customers Bluffing roundup!

Read the next Customers Bluffing roundup story!

Read the Customers Bluffing roundup!

(I work in a franchised prepaid cell phone carrier. Part of my job is helping customers setting up their devices, creating the email account that is going to be attached to their devices, and such. Some services we offer the customers have to pay for, but if I can help them for free I do, as I like to try to keep most customers happy and give our store a better reputation. Some people do try to get fees waived or services for free. This particular company offers you the option to change your phone number for free if you do it online, but if you come to the store there is a $15 charge. A customer comes in the store, and after we greet each other the following ensues.)

Customer: “I need to change my phone number.”

Me: *explains policy*

Customer: “Okay, can you do it online for me?”

Me: “No, ma’am, if I do it I have to charge you.”

Customer: “But you said if it is done online it’s free?”

Me: “Yes, but that’s because we won’t have to do it.”

Customer: “You can do it for me; you have a computer.” *looks expectantly*

Me: “First, ma’am, no matter the way I did it, I would still have to charge you. Second, I cannot put personal information from customer in my computer, for their protection. And third, we are not allowed to access customer’s accounts any other way than the system we use.”

Customer: “Well, you are no help! I’m a paying customer, and I want to change my number!”

Me: “I already told you the options you have.”

(She starts on a rant about poor customer service, how I “don’t want to help her,” being rude, and cussing us out. Then, I yell out to get her to listen to me, and then I speak in a calm but stern manner.)

Me: “MA’AM! I have tried to be nice, and I have explained to you what your options are. Now, either you pay for me to do your number change or you do it yourself.” *looks like she wants to say something* “And if you say one more rude comment to me or the other staff, this store will refuse you service, and good luck driving around trying to get someone to help you around here.”

(The other nearest store is about twenty miles from us. She went quiet and paid her fee. I changed the number for her and then she left. Our boss had instructed us to never to give in to rude customers, and to ban them or refuse service to them if they act that way. The kicker is, the online process takes no more than five minutes and all you need is your phone number and account PIN, but I guess some people are too lazy or entitled to do that.)

(My husband and I are similar in appearance, and regularly visit a 24-hour cafe with friends. On a trip where it’s only the two of us, a waitress we know fairly well approaches us.)

Waitress: “Okay, I need to know. You’re always in together but always pay separately. Are you married, or brother and sister?”

Husband: “Married.”

(She promptly does a 180 and starts yelling at another employee.)

Waitress: “I TOLD YOU SO! I KNEW IT! I WIN!”

(Apparently there had been a bet going on. We both cracked up over it and I gave her a larger tip than usual.)

(I work at a popular drug store. I answer the phone one evening.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Do y’all sell ball deodorant?”

Me: “Oh! You mean the roll-on kind?”

Customer: “No! Deodorant for your balls.”

Me: “Um… No, ma’am. We don’t.”

Customer: “This is bulls***!”

(I work in an auto repair shop. Just after we open at seven am, I get a call from a sweet-sounding, older lady.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Shop]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Parts department.”

(It’s about an hour earlier than that department arrives in the office. Additionally, as we do not sell parts themselves, only order them as needed for repair jobs, our parts department only takes incoming calls from vendors.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but they’re not available. Is there something I can do for you?”

Caller: “I need a price on a part.”

Me: “Okay, no problem; however, for us to quote you a price, we would need you to come—”

Caller: *interrupting* “I can’t come in. I just want a price on a rear window.”

Me: “I apologize for the inconvenience, but—”

Caller: “It’s the rear window. You know, the glass part that goes up and down?”

(Yes, she actually explains car windows to me.)

Me: “I understand, ma’am, but as we are a repair shop, not a parts shop, we don’t just sell parts. We would need to give you a quote on the full repair work. If you’d like—”

Caller: “Let me speak to [Person].”

Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have anyone here by that name.”

Caller: “What? Let me speak to [Person]. He works there.”

Me: “Ma’am, are you maybe trying to reach another shop or a dealership? We’re [Shop].”

Caller: “Oh. Yeah, I need a dealership.”

Me: “Ah, okay. Then—”

Caller: “Transfer me.”

(We are associated with two different dealerships dealing with two different car makes, so I can send her to one of them if needed, but only if I know what type of car she has.)

Me: “Sure thing. Which dealership are you trying to reach? Do you have a—”

Caller: “F*** you!” *hangs up*

Me: *stares at phone in shock*