Painkillers Morphing Into Something Else

, , , , , | Healthy | May 21, 2019

(During an annual summer trip to California, I start having abdominal pains. My dad brings me to a local clinic, and from there I get directed to the ER because of possible appendicitis. Once there, they hook me up to an IV. I’m a little paranoid around needles, so I ask them what exactly they’re putting in the IV. I also happen to have a fear of inebriation, as well as a fear of being forcibly injected with addictive drugs.)

Nurse: “Saline fluids and some morphine.”

Me: “Morphine? Why morphine?”

Nurse: “You said you were in pain.”

Me: “I am, but I don’t think it’s extreme enough to justify morphine!”

Nurse: “Okay, we can take the morphine out. You’re sure you don’t need any painkillers?”

Me: “I mean, some painkillers would be nice, but not something that extreme.”

Nurse: “Well, we can give you the morphine if you want.”

Me: “No morphine!”

Nurse: “So, you don’t need painkillers?”

(This conversation repeats a few times before I eventually tell her I don’t need painkillers and let her hook me up to the saline fluids. Some time passes, and eventually, another nurse comes to check on me.)

Nurse #2: “And have you had any painkillers?”

Me: “Well, they kept offering me morphine, but I didn’t want that. It seems a little extreme.”

Nurse #2: “Wait, so, no one offered you any Tylenol?”

Me: “No!”

(The second nurse brought me some Tylenol, and that did seem to help, but I will forever be confused about the first nurse who seemed to think that morphine was the only painkiller in existence.)

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Unfiltered Story #134108

, , , | Unfiltered | December 22, 2018

I’m a banker with a very large national bank. A customer comes in with his adult daughter. He speaks English but it’s not his first language so she does most of the talking when they sit at my desk.

Daughter: My father’s been having problems with his account for years. We’ve been in before but you never get it right.

Me: Let’s take a look. What’s the problem?

Daughter: <hands me some statements> He keeps getting fees on his accounts. I’m just so frustrated because we’ve come in to deal with before but no one can get it right. I’ve had it with all these fees you keep charging and nobody cares.

Me: <confused looking at the computer> His accounts aren’t getting fees now. <I take a closer look at the statements> Ma’am, these statements are 2 years old.