Bus-ted

, , , , | Working | September 21, 2018

(I’m waiting at a bus stop on a weekend evening. This particular stop is only used by this one bus line out of all bus agencies in the city, as evidenced by the lack of any other bus signs anywhere in the vicinity. At this time of night, the bus only comes once an hour, so I’m waiting for it pretty vigilantly, looking down the street every few seconds as well as tracking it on my phone. I’m standing on the edge of the sidewalk right next to the bus sign. Finally, I spot the bus. Its route is to make a turn from a perpendicular street onto the one where I’m waiting, and it proceeds to get stuck at the intersection for a really long time. I get bored and look back down at my phone. A few minutes later, I see the bus approaching me out of my side vision. I am still standing right at the edge of the sidewalk, and there’s no way for me to move any closer, so I don’t do anything and wait for it to stop. The bus comes up very slowly, so close to the sidewalk that it passes within inches of me, to all appearances as if it’s intending to stop, and then… keeps going. I look up at it in alarm. It moves on slowly but very determinedly until it’s nearly completely past me and the bus stop. Then, when I keep staring after it and start to move towards it, the bus – clearly reluctantly – abruptly skids to a stop. I quickly go after it, and when the door opens I step in. The driver is a very young woman, in her early 20s at the latest, if not her late teens. She is smugly smirking at me, seeming very satisfied with what she just did.)

Driver: “Hee-hee-hee. You were looking at your phone! And you almost missed your bus! Hee-hee-hee. You were looking at your phone! Whatcha looking at your phone for? You almost missed the bus! Hee-hee-hee-hee. Your phone! You were looking at it! You nearly missed the bus! Hurr-hurr-hurr…”

(She went on and on in the same vein, very stupidly grinning at me, clearly just barely holding herself back from loudly guffawing at how hilarious she thought it was. I stared at her, speechless, appalled that she could think it funny to do this to anyone, much less to another young woman who’d then be left stranded for a full hour in the dark in the middle of winter. I paid my fare without a word and found a seat. I noted her driver ID, and the next day I called the bus line’s customer service to report her behavior. Neither I, nor the person I spoke with, found this incident the least bit funny.)

Give This Weird Customer The Boot

, , , , , | Right | September 14, 2018

(I work in a children’s shoe store in Beverly Hills. Serving the over-privileged offspring of the Los Angeles rich is about as much fun as you think it would be. But sometimes things take a turn for the creepy. A male customer comes in, wearing a raincoat. He has no child with him, and he is sweating, breathing hard, and wearing a creepy smile. Not wanting to discriminate against someone with a medical condition or something, I approach him.)

Customer: “I want a baby’s rubber rain boot.”

Me: “Okay.” *maybe the baby is at home?* “What size?”

Customer: “The smallest. As small as you have. I’ll buy the pair, but I only want one.”

(This gives me the shivers, quite frankly. But I’ve fielded weird requests before, and he is willing to pay for the pair.)

Me: “All right.”

(I disappear back into the stock room and bring him one baby’s rain boot. As I’m ringing him up, I ask:)

Me: “Do you mind me asking what it’s for? Has your child lost one of a pair?”

Customer: *looks up and gives me a creepy grin* “Oh, there is no child.”

(Then, perhaps realizing the impression he must have been making, follows up:)

Customer: “I make rain boots for dogs. It’s for a prototype.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

(A few days later the creepster came back. He held the boot out to me, wanting to return it. No dice.)

Unfiltered Story #119377

, , , | Unfiltered | September 5, 2018

(It’s the end of our “year.” We all work at a school and generally go out for lunch together on our last work day, about a week after school ends. This is a fairly stressful time of year as my two coworkers are trying to set up classes for the upcoming fall, which is a lot harder than anyone might think. I’m a worker bee, so it’s not as hard on me. My coworker is trying to decide on a meal when the waitress arrives. We’d already had her come back once because he wasn’t ready. He has decided on the salmon. There are four varieties, clearly named on the menu. The waitress lists off these options.)

Coworker: “How is the herb crusted salmon prepared?”

(I look at the waitress, she is clearly trying to find a non-snarky answer, so I have to do it.)

Me: “It’s called herb-crusted, I’m thinking it’s crusted with herbs.”

The waitress had to laugh. Fortunately even coworker saw the humor.

Fwiw, coworker got the herb-crusted salmon and loved it. That waitress gave us fantastic service and got tipped accordingly.

Housewives Inc.

, , , , , | Right | September 1, 2018

(I work at a small ecommerce business where each employee has a multitude of job duties. The phone rings, so I interrupt my current task and conversation with a coworker to answer. It is important to note I am female.)

Me: *speaking a little bit too quickly* “[Company]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “What is this?”

Me: *speaking more slowly* “This is [Company]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Oh! I thought I was calling some housewife or something. Can I speak to [Coworker]?”

Me: *pauses* “Sure, let me transfer you to him.”

Boston, Lincolnshire, Is Wicked Good

, , , , , | Learning | August 31, 2018

(I work as a college counsellor.)

Me: “So, have you decided on any other schools that you want to apply to?”

Student: “Well, I was thinking about the University of Massachusetts, Boston, but it’s so far away.”

Me: “But you’ve already decided to apply to other schools on the east coast. Why is this one too far away?”

Student: “Well, it’s in England.”

(I sat there gobsmacked for a bit. The kid thought that New England was part of Great Britain. I laughed for quite a bit, and even reminded the student that after taking AP US History he should definitely have known better. And yes, he did apply to UMass Boston.)

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