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Broadcasting The Not-So-Broad Definition Of Purchasing

, , , , , , , | Right | November 20, 2020

One day, a somewhat strange announcement comes over the intercom at my store.

Coworker: “Attention, shoppers. I just wish to inform you that you are required to pay for your shopping. Cashiers are available at the front of the store to assist you with your payment for the goods you receive.”

A couple of customers near me laughed, and we moved on, and I ended up tracking down my coworker later to ask what the announcement was about.

Apparently, he’d caught a lady trying to walk out with a full cart, and she had tried to play dumb and claim that she hadn’t realized she needed to pay for them. She just repeated that, over and over, making no move towards the registers, so my coworker picked up the nearby radio and made the announcement while staring her down.

He said she turned the most satisfying shade of red at having her “supposed ignorance” broadcast like that and ended up immediately sulking over to the cashier stand he had been trying to direct her to without any more fuss.

This story is part of our Best Of November 2020 roundup!

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We Think Their Problems May Start At The Top

, , , , , | Working | November 3, 2020

I go to lunch with my boyfriend and my best friend. We decide to go to a chain sit-down restaurant that is fairly mediocre but within our price range.

We are seated outside, which is fine as it is a nice day. However, there is only one outdoor waitress, and it seems she has several tables inside, as well, so she takes quite a while to get to us. We assure her we are in no rush and place our orders.

The appetizer comes out twenty minutes later, lukewarm and stale. Despite the fact that we’re hungry, they are so unappetizing we leave them untouched except for the initial taste test.

When the first of the entrees arrives, my friend digs in. She takes about two bites and stops. She pulls a piece of plastic from her mouth, which must have come from something in the kitchen, as it was baked into the pizza itself.

We wait another fifteen minutes before the waitress returns with the other entrees. When we show her the plastic, she is suspicious at first, because plenty of people try to scam. Once she sees the piece, clearly warped from being baked, she is apologetic and asks if my friend wants a replacement. My friend declines as she doesn’t want to wait another thirty minutes.

My boyfriend and I start to eat and find that this food is cold and tastes insanely over-salted. When the waitress stops by to refresh our drinks — thankfully fairly quickly — we tell her about the issue. She apologizes profusely and assures us that she will take it off the bill, unless we would rather exchange it for another item.

At this point, the manager comes over, looking annoyed that the waitress had been taking so long.

Manager: “Is there a problem, folks?”

Me: “I’m so sorry, but my friend had a piece of plastic in her pizza, and both my and my boyfriend’s meals are kind of cold and really salty for some reason. If it’s possible, can we just cancel our order? This is not really edible for me, and we don’t want to take up any more time here.”

The manager looks at the waitress for an explanation.

Waitress: “I don’t know why that is. As soon as the cooks gave me the food, I brought it out, so something must have gone wrong in the kitchen.”

She is sincere and clearly frustrated, as this not only costs her time with her other tables, but by the looks of the manager, will get her in trouble despite her explanation.

Friend: “I’m sorry, but can we just have the check?”

The manager tells the waitress he will handle this. My friends and I are fairly young, and it seems he thinks we are trying to get free food. He returns with the bill a moment later and stands directly next to the table, waiting for us to pay.

We look at the bill.

Friend: “Excuse me, but my pizza is still on here.”

Manager: “Yes, well, you ate it.”

Friend: “No, I didn’t! There was a piece of plastic in it, anyway, which definitely shouldn’t be in a pizza.”

Me: “Sir, it seems we were charged for drink refills, as well. I thought that was only for specialty drinks, and that iced tea and water were unlimited refills. And both of our entrees are listed as dinner specials when we ordered a la carte, and we didn’t eat them anyway.”

The manager glares at us.

Manager: “Just pay and get out! You’ve wasted food and clearly just want to be cheap when you don’t want to pay a bill.”

My friends and I look at each other in disbelief. I stand and put $10 on the table, more than enough to cover a drink and my portion of the appetizer. My friend and boyfriend do the same.

Me: “Sir, the food was inedible, and we waited for almost an hour before it even arrived.”

The manager snatches up the money and disappears back inside the restaurant.

Waitress: “I’m really sorry.”

Me: “It’s okay, I guess. I mean, we didn’t get to eat, but we know that’s not your fault.”

We gave her a $10 tip and left to go get food elsewhere.

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An Embarrassing Game Of Cat And Mouse

, , , , , | Right | October 19, 2020

I fumble a coin in my kitchen and it rolls under the stove. Shining my flashlight under the stove to find it, I’m mortified to see the body of a mouse, staring glassy-eyed back at me. I call a pest control company and the exterminator arrives the next morning.

Exterminator: “’ll just check under your stove, get rid of the dead rodent, and check for signs of any current infestation.”

The exterminator looks under the stove.

Me: “Thank you. I try to keep things clean, and I worry about my little boy crawling around on the floor when there’s—”

Exterminator: “Sir?”

I’m surprised at being interrupted.

Me: “Yes?”

Exterminator: “Here’s your mouse.”

He holds up a little cat toy — a cloth mouse, complete with shiny little plastic eyes.

Me: “How much do I owe you for the trip? And how much extra to never, ever, speak of this again?”

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About To Blow Your Short Stack

, , , , , , | Working | October 15, 2020

I am eating at a chain diner with some friends and see that they had a poster that says, “Free short stack if you sign up for our membership.” I sign up, get my confirmation email with the coupon, and ask the waitress if I can apply it to the order I am about to make. She frowns.

Waitress: “Oh, we don’t do that.”

Me: “Um, it’s on the sign right there? Did it expire?”

Waitress: “No, we’ve never done that.”

She is not rude, simply clueless, and she offers to go ask someone else. She comes back a few minutes later with a manager.

Manager: “Sorry, yeah, you have to wait for corporate to email you an actual coupon to redeem the pancakes.”

Me: “Okay. I have the confirmation right here, though. Does it say that on the sign and I just didn’t read carefully? Sometimes that happens.”

Manager: “No, it’s policy.”

I accept this. A few weeks later, I come back with some friends and ask to redeem the coupon, figuring that I have waited long enough for it to be valid.

Waiter: “You have to use that within three days of signing up.”

I am frustrated and explain what I was previously told.

Me: “It’s not your fault, but did policy change?”

Waiter: “No, that’s always been that way. Our manager said.”

He pointed to the manager who had previously told me we had to come back later.

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REALLY Malicious Compliance

, , , , , , | Right | September 3, 2020

My father owns a check-cashing business in the 1970s, and my wife and I both help out at times. One afternoon, my wife is working the only open window. A woman comes to the window.

Woman: “You’re not going to cash my check, you b****!”

Normally, cursing at the employees will get you sent away. [Wife] is somewhat taken aback but decides to see what she can do. She answers the woman back in the same tone.

Wife: “How do you know I’m not going to cash your check? Give me that check!”

The woman hands her the check.

Wife: “Now give me your ID.”

The woman hands over her ID.

Wife: “I’m going to show you what I think of you! I’m going to cash your check! Sign here on the back!”

The woman picks up the check, signs, and hands it back again.

At this point, my father, who has been sitting in the back of the shop adding up yesterday’s accounts, notices the volume and comes up.

Father: “Is anything wrong?”

Wife: “No, nothing’s wrong.”

The customer agrees. [Wife] counts out the correct amount of money.

Wife: “There! See, I told you I could cash your check!”

The woman looks relieved.

Woman: “Thank you, I’ve had a really bad day and I guess I was just in a horrible mood when I came in. I feel so much better now.”

She smiled and went away. Another satisfied customer.

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