The Wildest Ride Is Before The Ride

, , , , | Right | February 20, 2019

(I am pregnant, and I am working still; I work in a play area for children. Sometimes parents are not the most understanding people.)

Me: *just coming back from the bathroom for the eighth time*

Customer: “My boys have been waiting for this ride; you need to stop leaving. It’s your job to man this ride.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Okay, let me check your height, sweetie.”

(I direct him towards the height requirement, and he’s a couple inches too short; I don’t count hair.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sweetie. You’re too small for this ride.”

(The child begins to argue, but the brother, who is clearly tall enough, goes on.)

Customer: “He’s not that small; just let him on.” *starts to get irritated, crossing their arms, and giving off angry body language*

Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t let him ride for safety reasons”

Customer: “It’s fine; I’m okay with it.”

(The customer then tries to usher the smaller child on the ride. I hold out my arm to stop the child.)

Me: *feels a pain, so I suck in and my eyes widen* “I’m sorry, but I cannot let him on.”

(The customer glares, then grabs the boys and storms off in a huff. The manager walks over to the ride when I get back from another pee break.)

Manager: *looks at me with a smirk* “She tried to let the kid on when you were gone, then threatened to sue us.”

Unfiltered Story #140349

, , | Unfiltered | February 14, 2019

(I’m a woman. I’m at an anime convention, dressed as the female main character from the anime “Sword Art Online.” A guy walks up to me, dressed in a sloppy outfit that I could only assume was based off of my character’s love interest in the show.)

Guy: *smirks* Nice outfit.

Me: Thanks! Made it myself.

Guy: Do you even know what you’re supposed to be?

Me: Um, [Character] from Sword Art Online?

Guy: Hmph. Well, our costumes fit each other. Wanna go out sometime?

Me: Sorry, buddy, I’m taken. *my boyfriend is talking with some friends of his, and I point to him*

Guy: *walks away while muttering* Stupid fake geek b****, doesn’t even know who she is…

Me: Excuse me? I’ll have you know that this is my favourite anime, and you should keep your sexist comments to yourself!

Guy: B****. At least I know the d*** show.

Me: Oh really?

(The guy smirks again as I burst into the show’s theme song, which is in Japanese.)

Me: Yume de takaku tonda
Karada wa donna fuan matotte mo furiharatteiku
Nemoru chiisa na omoi hirogaridashite
Kizuku yowai watashi kimi ga ireba
Kurai sekai, tsuyoku ireta
Nagai yume miru kokoro wa sou
Eien de!

(The guy’s mouth drops open and he runs away, while I get a round of applause.)

The Gift Card That Keeps On Taking

, , , , , , | Working | February 13, 2019

(I purchase two items at a department store, but the next day I decide I should really be saving money and decide to return them. On the day of my purchase:)

Me: “Just these two, please.”

Employee #1: “Because you’re spending $200, you get a $50 gift card to use at a later date!”

Me: “Okay, great. Thanks.”

(The next day, when I decide to go back and return my items:)

Me: “Hello, I’d like to return these two items I purchased yesterday.”

Employee #2: “Absolutely, let me help you with that. Okay, so, it looks like you’ll be getting $150 back.

Me: “Wait, what? I spent $200!”

Employee #2: “Oh, well, it says they gave you a $50 gift card for the future, so you get to keep that, and then the return is the remaining $150.”

Me: “What? No. I don’t want the gift card. Here, it is in the bag with the item. Take the gift card back and give me my $200 back!”

Employee #2: “We can’t refund the gift card.”

Me: “WHAT?!”

Employee #2: “Don’t worry! You still have the $50 to use in the future at any stores or online.”

Me: “I don’t want the $50 gift card. I want my money back!”

Employee #2: “Well, we don’t do that, so it is not an option.”

(We went in a circle for almost fifteen minutes until I stormed out and called corporate. They seemed perplexed by the employee’s behavior and told me they were going to refund me and to just go ahead and keep the items. All’s well that ends well, I guess.)

Microwave Results In A Micro-Transaction

, , , , , , | Working | February 7, 2019

I’m moving out of my studio apartment. The landlord has promised me he would come by on my last day there to inspect the place after it’s been emptied, but despite calling and texting him repeatedly, he never shows and never picks up or replies. The only message I get from him says I should leave the place unlocked for the team of workers he’s hired, who’ll be in first thing next morning to fix up the place to be rented out again. So, when leaving, I shut the door but leave it unlocked. It seems reasonable enough; in over two years of living there, I haven’t had any attempted break-ins or anyone even trying my door at night.

One of the few things I was provided was a small cheap microwave, which I am supposed to leave there and do so.

After waiting for three months for my security deposit check, never receiving it, having to involve the city’s tenant-landlord dispute resolution department, and being told my ex-landlord claims the check he “sent” — as he was strictly, legally obligated to within 30 days — got “lost in the mail,” it turns out the ex-landlord has decided to also deduct $50 from my deposit money for the microwave, which according to him wasn’t left in the apartment. This is the apartment that I left unlocked overnight on his instructions, which he refused to come to inspect, and which would have been swarmed and turned over by some unknown-to-me crew of workers first thing next morning; unsupervised, they could have done absolutely anything to the place and its contents.

Famous Last Words

, , , , , | Working | January 29, 2019

(This is a text conversation with my boss after a picky client has pushed their session two hours over its scheduled end.)

Boss: “‘We might be done early,’ is almost always code for, ‘We won’t be done early.’”

Me: “It’s the freelance equivalent of, ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’”

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