(While watching “Train to Busan,” a Korean zombie flick set on the titular train:)

Me: “Apparently, they’re making a Hollywood remake of Train to Busan.”

Husband: “How the h*** are they going to do that? Our public transport here is s***.”

Me: *cracking up*

Husband: “It’d be what? The Long Drive to Busan? Everyone’s just stuck in traffic. For two hours. Including the zombies.”

(Zombies begin falling from broken windows and rapidly swarm towards the survivors in a craze, snarling and spitting. They scramble over barriers and each other, broken limbs jutting out at odd angles, making them resemble a horrifying stampede of twisted, mangled marionettes.)

Husband: “Looks like a typical Black Friday, if you ask me.”

(I am in the waiting room of an OBGYN office I’ve never been to before. It is the only one in the area that is in my HMO insurance network. It’s late morning; appointments are not meant to be longer than 20 minutes, so I am planning to attend classes afterwards. When I walk in, I’m told that there is an extremely long wait time, even though we all have timed appointments — and are actually meant to be seen at that time. Though every hospital and office in this entire HMO company has a policy that if a patient checks in more than 15 minutes late they lose their appointment, obviously no equal rules have ever applied to providers being penalized for lateness. I have waited an hour already. Another patient, who is waiting for the same doctor, is sitting next to me with her newborn baby.)

Patient: “Oh, yeah. It’s aaaaalways been this way in this office for as long as I’ve been coming here. They’re aaaaalways extremely behind schedule.”

(This is not reassuring; since she’s got a baby, one can assume she’s been a patient with frequent appointments here for at least nine months.)

Patient: “Yeah, that’s why I’ve always made sure to get the very first appointment super-early in the morning. That’s absolutely the only way to get out of here on time. I just couldn’t manage it today. Oh, but don’t worry; I’ll be super-quick with my appointment, only five minutes. So you all won’t have to wait too much longer!”

(It’s nice of her, but we’re all already extremely late, anyway. I’m pretty appalled that a woman with a newborn is being made to wait around like this for well over an hour; luckily, her baby keeps on sleeping. I also wonder, if this office always runs severely late, why don’t they at least warn patients when we make our appointments? Many patients go up to ask the nurses several times what is going on with the excessive wait time. From overhearing them, it becomes clear that at least half a dozen of them are waiting for the same doctor I am, who appears to be the main cause of waiting-room congestion. The nurses seem extremely practiced at politely fobbing us off while giving non-answers about why this is happening or how much longer it’ll be, as well as pretending to be helpless and confused themselves, while giving off the heavy impression that this is actually all “business as usual.” I’m extremely unhappy; there is no end to the wait in sight, and it’s clear I’ll miss my classes. In other circumstances I’d just leave, but I am there because of suspicion of a uterine tumor and absolutely need to have tests done. Most people resign themselves to waiting, except for one young woman, who checked in 20 minutes after me, and keeps on whining to the nurses over and over. After waiting less than an hour, she starts going towards the exit door in showy slow-motion, while she declares extra loudly to the entire room that she’s leaving since she must get back to her job. I feel extremely skeptical of this, as she is dressed very unprofessionally, even by the standards of the most casual minimum-wage job, and has multiple large, prominent facial piercings.)

Nurse: “Oh, no! No, Ms. [Whiny Patient], don’t leave!”

Whiny Patient: “Oh, I absolutely have to get back to work! There’s no way I can stay here any longer!”

Nurse: “If you wait just a moment, I’ll go right away to ask the doctor if she can accommodate you sooner! Just wait right here!”

(The nurse goes inside the medical office, and comes back within two minutes to call the whiny patient in to be seen by the doctor immediately. I am shocked, as I know this girl was in line behind me, and there’s still at least one other person in front of me, as well. I go up to the nurses again.)

Me: “Excuse me, but I believe that young woman who just went in is seeing the same doctor as me, and several other people here.”

Nurse: “Well, yes, she is in with [Doctor].”

Me: “Did you really just call her in ahead of all of us, including those that were here first?!”

Nurse: “Well, yes. You see, she is in a very great hurry to get back to work. So we just had to see her now. [Doctor] did her a favor and managed to squeeze her in sooner.” *without appearing to realize the actual obvious meaning of that sentence*

Me: “Oh, my God, really?! [Doctor] did her a favor and squeezed her in?! What you’re actually saying is you talked Dr. [Doctor] into seeing her sooner, at all of the rest of our expense, without even consulting us! Neither [Doctor] nor any of you lost anything by doing this! You all just chose to steal several other people’s time for your own convenience of not having to explain the reason behind the patient’s appointment cancellation after she’d already showed up and paid for it! Wow, I wish I’d thought of getting up, whining a lot, and loudly threatening to leave; apparently it would have gotten me seen a lot sooner, too!”

(Even besides me, there were very good odds that some of the other patients also had to get to work — no one was even asked. But we all acted like adults and dealt with it instead of making a loud fuss to skip ahead of others in line. The nurse and doctor just decided that since we didn’t throw up a fuss, it automatically meant our time was worthless compared to [Whiny Patient]’s, and could be taken away from us with no notice. [Whiny Patient]’s appointment was not quick in the least. By the time she left, and then they finished with the other patient ahead of me, I was called in a whopping hour and 42 minutes later than my scheduled appointment time. While [Doctor] seemed likable and competent in person — once I finally got to see her — I couldn’t help questioning both her character and her competency in my head through the entire appointment because of the unprofessional mess with the waiting room.  After leaving there, since they’d already ensured I would fully miss all my classes that day, I went straight up a couple of floors in the hospital, to the Member Services department– where they saw me very promptly, even with no appointment — and submitted a complaint face-to-face with a nice, attentive employee who typed up everything I told him. I made sure to tell him every detail, including the 1:40 wait time and the long-time patient who told me that the OBGYN office always operates this way. It’s been several years, and I have never gone back to that office.)

(While in college, I have a lot of trouble studying while living in the dorms, and am under a lot of stress. I am a member of a couple of student clubs, but then realize I don’t have the time or energy to go to activities more than a couple times a year. One of these clubs is for students with a GPA above a certain figure. I decide I can spare the time to go to its end-of-year barbecue event held on a Friday afternoon. The event turns out to be extremely dull: just a couple dozen students milling around outdoors on a patch of grass doing nothing. I don’t know anyone there, and the food is the cheapest available store-bought buns and hot dogs in bags, and “prepared” on the spot by some students on an old rusty-looking outdoor grill. I consider calling it quits and returning to my dorm to study. Then, some dude comes up to me and starts a conversation.)

Guy: “Hi there! What an awesome event, right?”

Me: “Um… Right.”

Guy: “So, I’m [Guy]. What’s your name?”

Me: “It’s [My Name].”

Guy: “So, what year are you? What are you studying?”

Me: “I’m a [year], and I’m studying [subjects].”

Guy: *over-enthusiastically* “Cool. I’m a [year]! And I’m studying [subject]! You know, I haven’t seen you at any of the [Club] events this year!”

Me: “Um, no. I suppose you haven’t.”

Guy: “The [Club] events are all so great! And [Club] is so important!”

Me: “Um…”

Guy: *all of a sudden staring at me with laser-eyes, and in a much more serious voice* “How come you haven’t shown up to any other events?”

Me: *taken aback* “Uh, well, I came to one or two, actually, but honestly I just became so distracted and busy this year with all my classes, and studying, and all the other things I had to do that I wasn’t able to make any time for attending events.”

(He then aims an extremely judgmental look at me.)

Guy: *very skeptically* “Oh, come on! We all have school!” *obnoxious tone* “And I managed to make time to come to the events! We all did! So, obviously, anyone can! You really shouldn’t be so self-centered and lazy, you know!”

Me: *just stares at him with my jaw dropped*

(I judged it pointless to say anything and just walked away. I left about ten minutes later. It really was a complete waste of time. After this, I stopped attending any club events at all as a rule, and never signed up for any new clubs, either. Since they seem to be frequented by such judgmental jerks, I considered it good riddance. My time and effort was much better spent studying or reading for relaxation.)

(I’ve come to the local chain grocery store to return a non-food item I don’t need. The store has a specifically dedicated customer service desk where they do all returns; the desk is always staffed by a — supposedly — specially trained employee. I go to that desk and present the item and my receipt from a few days ago. The employee there is an officiously-dressed, middle-aged lady.)

Employee: “Okay, your refund is [amount about 25% lower than I paid].” *tries to hand me the money*

Me: “That’s not what I paid for it. I’m supposed to get back the amount I paid.”

Employee: “This is the price of the item this week.”

(I realize she must mean that the item is on sale this week, while it wasn’t last week when I bought it. However, I know the store’s return policy.)

Me: “I paid [original amount] for this when I bought it; I’m supposed to get all my money back.”

Employee: “[Lower amount] is what it costs this week, so that’s the refund you get.”

Me: “My receipt clearly shows what I paid for it: it’s [original amount]. See? It’s right here.”

Employee: *ignores the receipt I’m pointing to* “The price is [lower amount] now; that’s the correct refund. Let’s go to the shelf where it’s at and I’ll show you what the shelf price says.”

(She starts going off from behind the counter.)

Me: “Excuse me; that’s a pointless waste of time. It’s irrelevant what your shelf price is now. I have my receipt that clearly shows what I actually paid. I’m supposed to get back the amount I actually paid.”

Employee: *insistently* “No, let’s go so we can see and I can prove to you what the correct price is.”

(She very determinedly goes off and I seem to have no choice but to follow. The shelf is nearly all the way on the other side of the store. I trail after her in exasperation. We finally get there and she points at the shelf tag.)

Employee: “See; it’s priced at [lower amount], so that’s the refund you get.”

Me: “As I said, that’s completely irrelevant. I have my receipt, and I know your store’s return policy. According to the official return policy, if I have my receipt I’m supposed to get back the exact amount I paid for the item. It doesn’t matter if you have it on sale this week; I purchased it last week and paid more for it.”

Employee: *again disregards what I’m saying and ignores the receipt I’m holding out* “The shelf price this week is [lower amount], so that’s the refund amount you should get.”

(I really felt like head-desking. We walked all the way back to the customer service desk, then the same exchange continued on and on in circles. I should add here that after the first minute or so, she’d been acting increasingly exasperated and “robotic” in that way that employees seem to get when they think the customer is totally unreasonable. No matter how many times I pointed to my receipt and stated the store’s return policy, she acted as if I’d either said nothing at all or spoken completely irrelevant nonsense, and continued repeating her spiel about the current sale price. Finally, after several MORE minutes of this, a manager seemed to notice and came over to see what’s happening. I told him I was making a return but being given the wrong refund amount. The employee repeated her spiel to him, too. He looked over the item and receipt, looked at the employee sideways, and then wordlessly processed my return with — finally — the correct amount and handed it over. He didn’t say anything at all, either to me or to the employee. He didn’t give even a hint of a thought of asking me how much time I had just spent on this frustrating exchange, or offering any sort of apology. Meanwhile, the employee kind of just stood around, staring blankly. So, overall, it was a good fifteen minutes of wasted time on a transaction that should have taken less than one minute.)

(I’ve ended up in the ER waiting room with an excruciating spinal headache, due to a myelogram test I underwent four days earlier. This means I can’t have any part of my spine bent for more than a minute or so without the headache coming on and making me severely sick. I’ve been becoming severely sick the entire four days anytime I’ve so much as gone to the toilet, so I’ve been forced to be bedridden the entire time. The waiting room has nowhere to lie down, not even two chairs near each other without a non-removable armrest between them. I also know that if I stand in place straight up for more than a few minutes my blood pressure will drop and I’ll lose consciousness. For lack of any other solution, I’ve crawled to lie down on the floor in a semi-clean corner, with my head under one of the unused seats, to hide from the bright ceiling lights and be as much out of the way as possible. I’ve been waiting this way for over an hour. I carefully get up to ask the check-in nurse how much longer it’ll be. She can’t tell me; she can only say that I’ll have to wait some more. I go back to my place on the floor. In less than a minute, a security guard comes up.)

Guard: “Miss, you can’t lie on the floor here.”

Me: “What? I need to be lying down. If I don’t, I’ll become badly sick.”

Guard: “Well, but surely you can sit down, miss; there are seats here. You just can’t be lying down.”

Me: *bewildered at having to explain such obvious things in an ER waiting room, and after already having lain there for an hour without being bothered or bothering anyone* “I’m sorry, but I can’t sit anywhere. The reason I’ve come to the ER is that I have a specific condition where I become severely sick when I’m sitting. There’s no way I can physically be in that position right now. I have to be lying down so I don’t become ill.”

Guard: “Oh, well… But miss, there’s a rule that says you aren’t allowed to lie on the floor in this room. So couldn’t you please just go over right there and sit in one of these nice empty seats, anyway? There’s a rule, you see.” *looks at me expectantly like he’s making a perfectly reasonable suggestion.*

Me: “…”

(I checked later: there were no signs anywhere in the room stating such a rule.)