“Pas Toujours Raison” – For Her

, , , , , | Right | May 26, 2020

I am flying back to the USA from Heathrow airport in London. I get to security and there is a woman in front of me with one of those HUGE purses, larger than the backpack I am carrying. There are multiple signs that explain the limitations of what you can bring on board a flight and even a guy going down the line telling us the limits.

We unload our respective bags and shoes into the trays and send them through the x-ray machine. While I am waiting for the lady herself to get scanned, I glance back at the x-ray machine, which has stopped. A cluster of people around the display are all peering intently at it and pointing at the screen.

After I get through the scanner and start getting my stuff, I see that they have pulled the lady aside and had her dump her purse out into a tray. It is loaded with several scores of bottles of perfume, some of which individually look to exceed the total liquid limit, let alone the single bottle limit. As I walk past I can hear the conversation.

Officer: “You cannot bring this much liquid on the plane.”

Lady: “But it’s just perfume.”

Officer: “That doesn’t matter; you still cannot bring it on the plane.”

Lady: “But it’s expensive perfume!”

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Unfiltered Story #194909

, , , | Unfiltered | May 24, 2020

(I am female, eighteen and working in a chain corner shop for a few weeks before going to uni. It’s an old shop building, converted not long ago into this format, and the dairy products are placed opposite the counter. I watch, smiling and friendly, as a young woman only a couple of years younger than me fills a basket with three cartons of lactose-free milk, a lactose-free butter and a lactose-free cheese. She is quite skinny but looks healthy. She turns round and begins unloading her items onto the counter, asking me about my day. Suddenly, as I begin scanning the first of her milk cartons, a middle-aged woman bustles up behind her and tuts loudly. Both me and the girl stop and turn in surprise.)
Me: Can I help you, ma’am?
Woman: *to girl* How old are you?
Girl: I’m 16, why?
Woman: Already trying to lose weight? *she points to the lactose-free items* Trying to be even skinnier, like a stick? Because you think you’re fat?
Girl: No, I –
Me: Excuse me, ma’am, may you refrain from insulting this poor girl?
Woman: *ignores me and begins to remove the lactose-free items and replace them with non-lactose-free ones from the dairy produce just behind us* There. Put some weight on. You’re like a stick already.
Girl: *close to crying*
Me: Ma’am, if you continue to verbally abuse her I will have to call store security.
Woman: Teenagers these days, trying to starve themselves thin and going on every diet imaginable.
Girl: *clearing her tears* Miss, you’re being very rude.
Woman: What? How DARE YOU -”
Girl: First of all, those items are for my mum, who has a severe lactose intolerance to the point that she has to be hospitalised. Also, I have a rare metabolic disorder, which means I cannot put weight on. It’s not high metabolism, which you can slow down, because with high metabolism you put on weight and then burn it off. I don’t put the weight on at all, though I absorb the nutrients. So unsupportive comments such as yours are not going to change anything about me.
Woman: WELL, I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO A MANAGER!
My Manager: *sails from the back room* I have heard it already, ma’am – oh, (Girls’ name)!
Girl: Uncle (Manager’s name)?
Me: *bemused* Wait, you’re (Manager’s) niece?
Girl and Manager: *nod*
Woman: WELL, your mother is probably a diet-obssessed faddie.
Manager: That woman that you are talking about is my little sister, and she has the lactose intolerance to the extent that (Girl) was talking about. I would like you to leave.
Woman: *huffs and leaves, muttering obscenities*
Me: My little sister has a severe intolerance to gluten, I know what it’s like. Replace your items and you can have them free of charge.
Girl: Thank you, so much. I’m sorry you have to deal with people like that as a matter of course.
(My manager later received a call from the woman, who gave her details and filed a complaint about him and me. Needless to say, she is now banned from shopping at any of our chain of shops.)

Unfiltered Story #194449

, , , | Unfiltered | May 20, 2020

(I’m a full-time staff member, so I get asked things by part-timers and new guys all the time)
New coworker: This customer got self-levelling compound instead of tile adhesive.
Me: Has he brought it in?
New coworker: He has but our stock is right.
(He offers me the despatch note, I spot the problem)
Me: This is for [branch] not us, they have their stock wrong.
(I go with him, heart sinking, this has happened before and customers have gone crazy because of what I have to tell them.)
New Coworker: I checked the stock and we’re fine, and the despatch note says this is from [branch] so you have to talk to them about it.
Customer: Really?
Me: If we were to make the exchange our stock would be wrong and head office won’t tolerate another store correcting their mistakes.
Customer: I see, all right, I’ll go talk to them.
(I found myself letting out a huge sigh of relief internally. Mister, thanks for understanding)

Do They Understand How The Mail Works?

, , , , , | Right | May 15, 2020

I get a lot of weird questions working at a school reception, but this one takes the biscuit for me.

Me: “Good morning, [School].”

Caller: “How do I make sure that something goes to the admin office?”

Me: “If you wish to get in touch with our administrators, I can happily provide the central email address.”

Caller: “No! How do I make sure that post goes to the basement office?”

Her tone is getting irate, and I’m worried that something so obvious sounding is going to upset her.

Me: “As long as the post has an addressee on the front, it will be handed to that person.”

Caller: “So, if I address it to [Finance Officer], it will definitely go to her?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Caller: “How can you be sure?”

Me: “I am the one who sorts the school’s post, ma’am.”

Caller: “So, if it is addressed to [Finance Officer], you will give it to her yourself?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “It will be sent special delivery for tomorrow; make sure you hand it to her!” *Click*

It arrived two days after the call came in.

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Unfiltered Story #193971

, , , | Unfiltered | May 13, 2020

Customer: Hello?
Me: Hi!
Customer: Do you have… Beer?
Me: *checking till items* We have… [brand]… –
Customer: Yes, that one.
Me: *goes & gets one from the fridge*
Customer: No, no… Do you have *hand gesture* tap?
Me: On tap!? No..?
He turned & left. We aren’t allowed to sell alcohol to customers without film tickets, and there’s a pub within sight distance from our front door.