I work at a big chain liquor store. It’s huge; last I heard, we sold about thirty thousand different products. We sort by liquor type and variety, obviously, but once you get to, for example, the Chardonnay aisle, it goes by price.

A man comes in who I don’t recognise until he starts speaking. He proceeds to have a nearly identical conversation with me to the one we had the last time he was here.

Customer: “I’m looking for [Wine].”

Me: “I’ll look it up for you.”

Customer: “Aren’t your products arranged alphabetically?”

He must have worked out that they’re not by the time he’s wandered around and asked for assistance.

Me: “No, they’re not. They’re organized by liquor type and variety, and then by price.”

He makes a big production of sighing and rolling his eyes.

Customer: *Emphatically* “That’s ssssstuuuuupid!”

I spent years working at an independent grocery store where the prices were pretty expensive. I got so used to people saying stuff like, “This is bloody ridiculous! I can get this for half the price at [Big Chain]!”

I developed a personal policy of not giving an inch. I’m not talking about people politely inquiring or criticising, by the way; I’m talking about people who need me to know that they’re super angry about things outside of my control.

So, as he’s repeating, “It’s stupid!” I calmly say, “Oh, okay,” and continue to search for his product. Obviously, this is not the reaction he wants, so he keeps going.

Customer: “It’s stupid! Why would they do that?!”

Me: *Still calmly* “Oh, I think you told me that last time you were here.”

Customer: “Then why didn’t you change it?!”

Me: “It’s not up to me.”

Customer: “You can pass on the message!”

Me: “I did, but unfortunately, I don’t think it will change anything as these chains all follow the same layout.”

Of course, I didn’t; my boss would just stare at me if I took him aside to tell him a customer said the store was stupid and asked us to change it.

Customer: “When will the store manager be in next? I’ll come in and talk to him!”

I can’t imagine wasting your life like that.

Sir, if you are out there, I can’t possibly express how little I care what things you find stupid.

I’m at my local off-licence (liquor store) buying a few bottles. I’m in shorts, a T-shirt, and flops, so I’m very obviously a customer. A rough-looking dude sidles up to me.

Dude: “Hey, you work here?”

Me: “No, mate, just shopping.”

He looks at me suspiciously and then sloooooooowly reaches out an arm, grabs a bottle of cheap spirits, and shoves it into his shirt. He squints at me for a moment, as if to check whether I am going to do anything about it, and then sloooooooooooooowly reaches out and grabs another bottle, stuffs it into his shirt, and saunters out of the door. I pass a real employee.

Me: “That guy just walked out with two bottles.”

Employee: “What? Motherf***er! Well, what were they? You’re going to have to pay for them!”

I didn’t end up paying for them, but the manager wouldn’t let me leave until the police arrived, which took a while. The manager was then shocked when I had him charged for, among other things, gripping my arm and refusing to let me leave and common assault.

I am a cashier in a liquor store that is right next to a retirement home. The owner stocks some basic groceries to be nice to them. He obviously makes very little from the sales of eggs and bread. On a regular basis, the tenants of the retirement home say:

Customer #1: “The grocery selection is terrible!”

Customer #2: “Why don’t you stock more stuff? This is unacceptable!

It’s a liquor store. What the h*** do they expect?

I worked as a manager of a liquor store for about three years. I live in rural southeast Michigan, so it’s a small area. In this store, there was only one person working 90% of the time, so there were no “scheduled” breaks.

This night was super slow, so at around 6:30 pm, I went to use the bathroom. I heard our door buzzer go off.

Me: “I’ll be right there!”

I hurried up and got back out front. I saw a guy walking toward the door FROM BEHIND THE COUNTER with like six bottles of liquor and a few cartons of smokes.

Me: *Loudly* “CAN I HELP YOU?”

Guy: “I’M NOT STEALING!”

He threw everything he had in his hands at me before continuing to run out the door. If he wasn’t stealing, why didn’t he buy the stuff? Why did he tell me he wasn’t stealing? This interaction haunts me at night sometimes because I have so many questions.

A guy comes into the liquor store with his eyes rolling around in his head. He holds up a tiny bag of suspect white powder.

Customer: “I’ll trade you some coke for a fifth of [Whiskey].”

Me: “We can’t accept that trade, sir.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “We don’t have a slot in the cash drawer for cocaine.”

The customer nodded as if this was an agreeable reason and calmly left.