I’ve always looked younger than my age. As such, a week before my forty-fifth birthday, I get carded as I’m trying to buy a bottle of wine and a pack of cigarettes. The clerk is amazed when I show him my ID.
Clerk: “Wow, you look so young! What are you doing right?”
Me: *Laughing* “Dude, I’m buying liquor and smokes!”
One day, when I was fourteen — and looked WAY younger — I was with my dad in a liquor store. As my dad looked at some wine bottles, I wandered around, looking at some bottles with pretty labels. I was wearing a bright pink shirt and a skirt — I had no fashion sense — and the store’s employees wore dark red shirts and black pants.
This lady walked up to me.
Lady: “Where are the vodka and rum?”
I didn’t understand at first.
Me: “I don’t know.”
She looked insulted and raised her voice.
Lady: “Well, you should know that! You should try to be more respectful and help me!”
Me: *Confused* “Well, I don’t know where the vodka or the rum is, and I’m confused as to why I should know that and how it’s disrespectful not to.”
She was pi**ed. She started yelling.
Lady: “You should know the store better, and you should be more polite! I’m going to call the manager!”
And then, she stormed off.
At that point, my father heard a part of the conversation and came to ask what had happened. I told him, and he looked as confused as me.
The lady came back with a man in a store uniform and a tie. The lady was now red and angry.
Lady: “Your employees are rude, and they don’t know anything!”
The man looked at me and started laughing, along with my dad and me.
Me: “You really thought I worked here? I’m not even old enough to drive, let alone drink!”
She looked shocked and then offended. She stormed away without buying anything. We had a great laugh.
I was purchasing three cases of wine at my local liquor store, where they offer a ten percent case discount. On that day, the store’s scanning/pricing system had crashed, so the young clerk had to check me out by using a calculator to add up the cost of each bottle, applying the discount, and then manually typing the total charge into the register that had reverted to a “stone knives and bearskins” backup mode.
She finished totaling up my wine and said, half to me and half to herself:
Clerk: “Three cases at ten percent. That’s thirty percent off.”
I paused for a moment.
Me: “Hang on. I’m going back to grab seven more!”
I thought she’d catch her error and we’d share a laugh.
Instead, she replied, “Okay,” and started moving my cases to the side.
Eventually, we agreed on the proper price, but not until after my first couple of attempts to explain the math. I did earn a belated chuckle from her at the end.
My friend is a pediatric oncologist. In order to protect his patients as best as he possibly can, he has been wearing a mask whenever he goes out, even when it has stopped being recommended and advised.
He, another friend, and I stop by a liquor store one evening. He is the first one to check out, while the other friend and I are still looking around.
He gets to the counter, hands over his ID, and briefly lowers his mask so that the cashier can confirm it is his. All good, he pays for his stuff and steps to the side to wait for us.
This is when, suddenly, a RANDOM CUSTOMER appears.
Random Customer: *To the cashier* “You’re kidding. It’s obvious his ID is fake.”
Cashier: “Your total is $29.45. Cash or card?”
Random Customer: “Nobody’s wearing a mask anymore. Don’t you think it’s suspicious he just happens to wear one to the liquor store?”
Cashier: *Clearly not having it* “Cash or card?”
Random Customer: “You don’t think it’s suspicious that he doesn’t want you to see his face?”
Cashier: “Sir, I need to check the people behind you out. Cash or card?
Random Customer: “You’re not going to do anything about him?”
Cashier: “Sir, he showed me his face. It looks like his ID. Please finish your purchase so I can check other people out.”
The random customer acts all huffy and begins to get his card out. Suddenly, a manager steps over from the side.
Manager: “Sir, may I see your ID?”
Random Customer: “What? I’m clearly over thirty.”
Manager: “Store policy is to card anyone who looks under fifty-five. May I see your ID?”
Random Customer: “…”
The manager takes his purchase and puts it behind the counter.
Manager: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell to you without a valid ID. We don’t close for another two hours if you’d like to come back with one.”
Random Customer: “…”
Manager: *Motions to the man behind the random customer* “I can take you up here, sir.”
The random customer finally moves and heads to the door, pulls out his phone, and DIALS 911!
Now, my other friend and I are totally invested in this, so we take our time browsing the aisles and “discussing” bottles we’re totally not interested in.
In enters Mr. Policeman!
Mr. Policeman heads over to get the story from both the random customer and the manager. After a moment, he approaches my friend and asks for his ID. He provides it and briefly lowers his mask so that Mr. Policeman can confirm his identity. Mr. Policeman also looks like he’s so over it.
Manager: “We’d prefer if he—” *points to the random customer* “—didn’t return to this location.”
Random Customer: *Flips out* “F*** you. F*** all of you. F*** all of your f****** mothers!”
Mr. Policeman ended up escorting him out. Business as normal resumed in the store. We all bought our booze and the three of us headed outside, where the random customer was arguing over a citation from Mr. Policeman for driving without a valid license.
Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 50
No ID, No Idea, Part 49
No ID, No Idea, Part 48
No ID, No Idea, Part 47
No ID, No Idea, Part 46
I am a shift lead at my store, meaning I am responsible for training new cashiers and making sure they are up to standard.
Today, I have been asked to watch one of our newer cashiers. She seems like she is very competent, but there have apparently been some questions about her checking IDs.
So far, there have been no issues. She’s been polite, efficient, and generally on point. Then, it happens. A customer comes to pay, and their items include bottles of wine. The customer looks to be in their early twenties, so the policy says to check ID.
Cashier: “Can I please see your ID for the wine?”
Customer: *Fumbling for their ID* “Yeah, sure. It’s been a while since anyone’s asked me for that.”
The customer pulls out a card and shows it to the cashier. At once, I notice an issue, but I stay silent to let [Cashier] do her job.
[Cashier] glances at the card before pressing the “confirmed” button.
Cashier: “All right, thank you. You can insert your card when you’re ready.”
This is when I step in.
Me: “[Cashier]! Please take another look at that card.”
[Cashier] looks at the card again and realizes that the customer accidentally provided what looks like a work ID, with no birthdate or identifying information, instead of a government-issued ID.
The customer realizes their mistake.
Customer: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I must’ve stuck that card in the wrong place.”
They then provide their actual ID, which confirms that they are, in fact, old enough. I let the cashier finish the transaction but immediately tell her to close down and follow me to the office.
I grab the manager on duty and inform them of the situation.
Manager: “[Cashier], what were you doing? You clearly weren’t actually checking ID. Why?”
Cashier: “Well, I just figured that they must be telling the truth because they gave me an ID.”
Manager: “They didn’t give you an ID. You don’t seem to understand the consequences of selling to someone underage. This will be a write-up, and you’re going to have to be retrained. “
Cashier: “That’s not fair! I didn’t actually break the law, so you can’t punish me.”
Manager: “That certainly isn’t true. You have two choices: accept the write-up and retraining, or we let you go right now.”
She reluctantly accepted the former but was let go a few months later when this happened again.
