Can’t Barrel Out Of There

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink

(I work as a manager and beer department head at a local liquor store that sells kegs of beer.)

Customer: “Excuse me; I need to order a keg of Corona.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but Corona, unfortunately, doesn’t make kegs.”

Customer: “What’re you talking about? I ordered one last week!”

Me: *trying not to get agitated* “Sir, I’m sorry, but like I said, Corona doesn’t make kegs. It’s impossible for me to get you a keg of Corona.”

Customer: “This is bull-s***! The beer guy here got one for me last week!”

Me: “Actually, I run the beer department at this store, and I have for the last few months. I can give you a list of all the kegs we can get you.”

Customer: “QUIT BACK-TALKING ME! I want to see your manager, and I want to see him now!”

Me: “Okay, not a problem.”

(I turn around on the spot, making a 360 turn.)

Me: “Hello, I’m the manager. What can I help you with?”

Customer: *glares at me before walking out in a rage*

Needs To Learn About Togetherness

| WI, USA | At The Checkout, Underaged

(Two customers come up to my register together with a bottle of brandy; both look young so I move to card them both.)

Me: “Can I see your IDs, please?”

Customer #1: “Oh, she’s not buying anything.”

Me: “It doesn’t matter. If you’re together, I need to see both of your IDs before I can sell this brandy to you.”

Customer #1: “We’re not together.”

Me: “Then how do you know she isn’t buying anything?”

Customer #1: “Well, she’s not holding anything, so I just assumed… We’re not together!”

Customer #2: “I’m just his ride!”

Me: “I’m sorry, that doesn’t matter. I cannot sell to you since you are together.”

(At this point they exchange a look that makes it very clear that they’re trying to pull one on me and that Customer #2 is, in fact, underage.)

Customer #1: “But we’re not together!”

Me: “She just said she’s the one who drove you here.”

Customer #1: “This is complete garbage! I have never heard of this stupid f***ing rule! No one’s ever done this to me before. We’re not even together!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. It’s state law that I can only sell if I have IDs from everyone in the group.”

Customer #1: “But we’re not together!”

Not So Nuts About The Innuendo

| Medford, MA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(At our store, we have a rack of potato chips, peanuts, and other snacks that is a few steps away from the register. The customer puts a six-pack of beer on the counter, then steps away to grab something off the rack and comes back to the counter with some peanuts.)

Customer: “You really should put your nuts on the counter.”

Me: “I’m not sure how to respond to that.” *hoping he’d get how awkward it sounded, and laugh it off*

Customer: “I might grab them more often, if you did.”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Yeah, they’re probably just fine right where they are.”

(I’m pretty sure this guy was just clueless about what he said and not actually hitting on me!)