Even Numbers Means an Odd Donation

, , , | Hopeless | February 4, 2018

(I am in a queue of people waiting to be served at the only till that was open. There are three people in front of me. The shop is having a promotion for Christmas, asking people to donate £1 for a dog food in a local shelter for the holiday period. The three people in front of me all decline the request with a very short and abrupt ‘No.’ Then it is my turn.)

Cashier: “Would you like to donate to [Local Shelter] for a dog’s Christmas lunch?”

Me: “No, thanks.”

Cashier: “Oh, okay. Your total will be—”

Me: “I would like to pay for the three people who refused before me and one from me.”

Cashier: *surprised* “Wow, are you sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Cashier: “Er, that will be [total] plus your donation of £4.”

Me: “You know what? I hate even numbers. Make it £5.”

Cashier: “…okay. Your total is now [new total].”

Me: *makes payment*

Cashier: “Can I ask, why did you pay extra?”

Me: “We recently lost our own dog after 14 years. This is my way of helping others in remembrance of our pet.”

Cashier: “I understand and I will make sure the [Local Shelter] gets told about this for you.”

Pernickety Is Also A Good Name For An IPA…

, , , | Right | September 4, 2017

(I work at a restaurant on a river that has a bar area and a function room for weddings and such. For weddings, we set up the wedding breakfast in the function room, and after the party has finished, we usher them through a set of double doors to the bar area for drinks and to take photos outside, set up for the evening do, and then usher them back through the double doors to the function room and stick a sign on them saying “NO ENTRY” to stop the party spilling through to where people are having meals. One night a persistent older gentleman keeps going through the doors to get his drinks from the bar in the bar area, not the bar in the function room [where I am working]. I ask him a couple of times not to go through the doors, but he ignores me until this happens.)

Me: “Sir, will you please not go through the doors to the bar area?”

Customer: “Well, you’re just being pernickety.”

Me: *sighing* “Sir, why do you keep coming through this door?”

Customer: “The beer is colder on this side.”

Me: *I stare at him.* “Sir, they come off the same barrel; they are exactly the same temperature. NOW who’s being pernickety?”

(The customer sheepishly went back through the doors, and we never had any more trouble from him.)