QWERTY Makes Me Go ASDFASDF

, , | Right | January 25, 2008

Library Patron: “I need some help comparing heating prices.”

Me: “Okay, let me show you a website where you can compare the different gas companies.”

(I lead the patron to computer, and type in the website address.)

Me: “Here you go. Just type in your information.”

Library Patron: *looking at the keyboard* “These letters are all mixed up!”

Me: “Uh, well…”

Library Patron: “Have they always been like this?”

Me: “Only since the 1800s. Here, let me do the typing.”

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Oh, Crystal Meth

| | Right | January 6, 2008

Click here to view the comic version of this quote!

(I’m checking out another patron’s books. Suddenly, a customer screams and points at me, in the process elbowing another patron out of the way.)

Library patron: “WHY DIDN’T YOU TAKE THE CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP OFF THE STOVE?!”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m helping someone right now….”

Library patron: “You let it get all FATTY on the top!!!”

Me: “…I’m sorry?”

(The library patron begins to cry.)

Me: “Why are you crying?”

Library patron: “I don’t know, cuz dads are microwaving their kids and sh*t!”

Me: “…”

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As Opposed To The Ones That You Can, Like, Smoke?

, , , | | Right | December 14, 2007

(At a library, completely surrounded by books…)

Me: “Hi, how can I help?”

College Student: “Where are the books that you can, like, read?”

Me: “…”

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Surprisingly, This One Knows How To Read

| | Right | November 3, 2007

Library Patron: “Do you guys have books?”

Me: (I turn and give a side glance to the shelves of books on my right) “Nope. It’s all online.”

Source

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