A Library With A Likely Story

| USA | Right | December 13, 2010

(I find a wallet with the owner’s ID from middle school.)

Me: *over the all-call speakers* “[Name], please come up to the front desk for your missing wallet. [Name], please come up to the front desk.”

(An adult comes up to the front desk.)

Adult: “Hi, I’m [name].”

Me: “I’m sorry, but according to this ID, she’s still in middle school.”

Adult: “Oh, I’m, um, her sister.”

Me: “With the same name?”

Adult: “Yeah, my mom was a little weird. Can I have her wallet now?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’d like to see your sister and put this is in her possession.”

Adult:”What!? What do you think I’m going to do, steal my sister’s money or something? Just give me the d*** wallet!”

(A girl comes over.)

Girl: “Hi, I’m [Name].”

Adult: “Sis! Where were you? It’s been 10 minutes. I tried to give the wallet to you to save time, but this stupid woman thinks I’m not your sister!”

Girl: “Who are you?”

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Sharing One’s Loss, Part 2

| ON, Canada | Right | December 6, 2010

Caller: “I saw on my online account that this book I have out is lost.”

Me: “Okay.”

Caller: “But it’s not lost, it’s right next to me. I can see it!”

 

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Parental Misguidance

| Birmingham, AL, USA | Right | December 1, 2010

(Parents often call to make sure their children are where they are supposed to be or are going to be ready when they come to pick them up.)

Me: “Computer lab, this is [name].”

Mother: “Hi, I am looking for my son. I think he’s up there using your computers.”

Me: “Okay, can you tell me what he looks like?”

Mother: “Well, he’s got medium skin, he’s kind of heavy, and he looks a little slow.”

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They’re In A Galaxy Far, Far Away

| New Zealand | Right | November 29, 2010

Me: “Hello, miss, can I help you?”

Patron: “Yeah, I’ve been searching these shelves for about ten minutes and I can’t find any books on this one guy.”

Me: “Who are you looking for books on?”

Patron: “Oh, I think he’s quite famous! Wait, I know his name.”

Me: “Well, what did he do?”

Patron: “Something to do with the army…”

(The patron pauses for a bit before realizing.)

Patron: “Oh! Darth Vader!”

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Thick Accents, Thicker Heads

| New Zealand | Right | October 19, 2010

(A teenage girl enters the library.)

Me: “Hi, do you need help?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, I’m looking for a book.”

Me: “Okay. Are you a member of this library or any other Wellington library?”

Customer: “Oh, no. I’m here with my mother for the US summer ’cause I live with Dad in Florida.”

Me: “We can sign you up to the library for free and issue you a card. The card will cost two dollars.”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “So, what book were you looking for?”

Customer: “Twilight. Have you heard of it? Most people in America have read it, but I’m not sure if it’s here.”

Me: “Oh, yeah. It was quite big for a while. My sister loved it.”

Customer: “It’s my second favorite book ever, after Eclipse.”

Me: “Oh, did you leave your copy in America?”

Customer: “No, I just wanted a copy from here because everyone here has really funny accents  and I wanted to know how that would change the story.”

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