This Customer Is A Time Bomb

| IL, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

(My patron is a young boy of about seven or eight. He is using the online card catalog and looks stumped.)

Me: “Can I help you find something?”

Patron: “I want a book on how to build a nuclear bomb.”

Me: “Uh… I don’t think we’re going to have anything like that in our collection.”

Patron: “Well, how can I learn to make one, then?”

Me: “I would suggest a PhD in physics.”

Patron: “Oh! Here’s one!” *shows me a catalog record for a book called “How to Build a Nuclear Bomb”*

Me: “Oh, see, actually that book is about the global economics, politics, and resources that would…” *noticing patron’s blank stare* “You know what? Yeah, I can get you that book.”

(A couple of weeks later, the young patron comes in to check out his reserve.)

Patron: “Uh… I don’t think this is what I want. It doesn’t have any nuclear bomb plan in it, or anything.”

Me: “Yes, well, like I said before, we won’t have anything like that here.”

Patron: “Oh, well, I found a can of gas in the garage, and I have some matches. Do you think I could do something with that?”

Me: “Uh… stay in school?”

Harry Potter And The Amazon Woman

| ID, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

(I work reference desk at a public library. My desk is right next to the “New Books” display, and among the new books is a copy of “The Secret History of Wonder Woman.” The dust jacket shows Wonder Woman in the process of changing from her alter ego to her superhero form, so she still has her glasses and jacket on, but is also wearing her iconic leotard and crown. A mom and her children are walking by the display when one spots the book.)

Child: “Mom, look! It’s Harry Potter Wonder Woman!”

(I’m also a geek in my off-time, so I’m tempted to cosplay that at my next convention now…)

The Land Of The Free To Be Who You Are

| NY, USA | Bigotry, Books & Reading, Family & Kids

(Because of the recent ruling of same-sex marriage in America, for our book display, we put up a rainbow flag along with books featuring gay protagonists. This happens on the day we have story time.)

Woman: *angrily* “Excuse me!”

Coworker: “Yes, can I help you?

Woman: *points to our display* “I can’t believe you put something like this up! There are CHILDREN around!”

(Our display shows no pornographic material. My coworker, who is bi-sexual, is stunned into silence and is unable to say anything. This is when I step in.)

Me: “Oh, my gosh, ma’am, you’re right! How can I be so inconsiderate?”

Woman: *smiles smugly*

Me: *I grab one of the books on display and swap it out with a children’s book featuring gay parents* “There! Now there’s something for everyone!”

(The woman didn’t understand for a few seconds. When she realized what the book was about, she sneered and muttered about going to a different library. She left and my coworker was laughing so hard, tears were streaming down her face.)