Delinquency Takes A Lot Of Training

, , , | Related | January 10, 2019

(I find a job offer as a librarian in a French youth protection and juvenile justice academy. I’m talking to my mother about the offer.)

Me: “Besides, juvenile delinquency is an interesting subject.”

Mother: *a little anxious* “Ah, the theme is juvenile delinquency?”

Me: “Yes.”

Mother: “But it’s a school for those who want to help young people get out of delinquency?”

Me: “Yes.”

Mother: *relieved* “Phew!”

Me: “Wait, did you really think this was a school to become delinquents?”

Mother: “Yes…”

I Don’t Have The Words

, , , | Right | January 6, 2019

(The phone rings at the library where I work, so I answer it. We’re a big, two-story library in the middle of a small town, and have been for over ten years.)

Me: “[Library], can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, uh, y’all got a lot of books?”

Even The Famous Five Couldn’t Make Sense Of This

, , , | Right | January 1, 2019

(I work in a library. A community service student from a local high school is shelving in the junior fiction section, when I overhear this encounter.)

Customer: “Excuse me. That catalogue over there says that The Folk of the Faraway Tree is on loan; see, my daughter really wants that book.”

Student: “I can get one of the librarians for you; I’m sure you can reserve it or something.”

Customer: “No, I need it today. This is a library, isn’t it? What kind of library doesn’t have an Enid Blyton book?”

Me: “Hey. Anything I can help with?”

Customer: “I just don’t understand how a library doesn’t have that book.”

Me: “Well, we do have it; it’s just currently on loan. I can organise a reservation for you; you will be the next to get it.”

Customer: “It’s a very popular book. I don’t understand why it’s not on the shelf.”

Me: “Probably because it’s a very popular book.”

Customer: “No, it should be on the shelf.”

Me: “The best I can offer you today is a reservation.”

Customer: *big sigh* “I guess I have to buy it, then. I’m really disappointed, though, that such a popular book is on loan. A classic like that shouldn’t be; it should be available. It’s a classic, a popular classic. There’s no reason for someone else to have it out.” *leaves*

Student: “That made no sense at all.”

Me: “Don’t think about it for too long; it will give you a headache.”

Student: “I’m going to find a career path where I don’t have to deal with the general public.”

Maybe The Library Has Books About What Libraries Are, Part 2

, , , , , , | Learning | December 31, 2018

(I am working circulation at the library when a student comes up to me. This student is in an upper grade, and reading at grade level, so I’m confident he knows how libraries should work.)

Student: “I’d like to return my library books.”

Me: “Okay, you can put them in the return bin, use the self-check station, or bring them to me since I’m not busy.”

Student: “I don’t have them.”

Me: “Well, go back to class and get them.”

Student: “I don’t know where they are.”

Me: “I can’t check them in if you don’t have them.”

Student: “But I’m finished, and would like to check out more.”

Me: *pulling up his account* “You have four out right now, and two are overdue, so I can’t let you check out any more books.”

Student: “But I want to check my books in.”

Me: “You have to actually give me the books so I can scan them in.”

Student: *gives me a confused look*

Me: “Bring your books back and then I can help you.”

(I haven’t seen him in the library for the rest of the week.)

Maybe The Library Has Books About What Libraries Are

Yaoi Got To Be Kidding, Part 3

, , , , , | Right | December 21, 2018

(A woman buys a yaoi manga — male/male Japanese comic — off of our sales rack. A few minutes later, she comes up to the front desk.)

Customer: “I want to exchange this for something else! I didn’t know this manga had such content! I don’t read things like this; it’s against my religion! I read only wholesome manga!”

(My coworker does the exchange. Once the customer leaves, she shows me the cover of the manga. Very clearly it has two men in a loving embrace, one has their shirt off, and there are roses everywhere.)

Coworker: “How could she not know this was yaoi?”

Yaoi Got To Be Kidding, Part 2
Yaoi Got To Be Kidding

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