Wish You Could Print Out This Conversation

| USA | Right | March 15, 2017

(I’m working the reference desk when a customer comes up.)

Customer: “Is it true I can’t print from my own laptop?”

Me: “No, actually you can print from your own laptop.” *I then spend several minutes explaining the process, as it requires downloading and installing software*

Customer: “Okay, great! Can I check one out then?”

Me: “Oh, you mean one of our laptops? Well, sure, you can print from those as well. Have you ever checked out one of our laptops before?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Great.”

(He hands me his card but not his I.D.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I need your I.D. as well. We hold onto it while you have the laptop checked out.”

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t know that. I’ve never checked one out before.”

(At this point I’m afraid I’m losing my mind, but he gives me his I.D. and I check out his laptop. He goes on his way. Half an hour later, he brings the laptop back without stopping at the print release station.)

Customer: “Here you go. I’m all done.”

Me: “Were you able to print what you needed? I can show you how the print release station works.”

Customer: “I didn’t need to print anything.”

Me: *speechless*

(At least he was cheerful and polite throughout the interaction! I just wondered if we were having two different conversations…)

Maybe He Was Checking His Eyelids For Holes?

| Silver Spring, MD, USA | Right | March 10, 2017

(I am a librarian with a city library. I usually work behind the information desk, but every so often, if no one asks me any questions, I walk around the library and see who needs help. One of the things I am supposed to do is remind people of the rules, such as no sleeping. I see a man sitting in an armchair with his eyes closed, and assume he is asleep.)

Me: “Sorry to disturb you, sir, but I’m afraid we don’t allow sleeping in the library.”

Customer: *with a really nasty grin* “Come here.”

Me: *taking two steps closer* “Yes?”

Customer: *pulls out black phone* “You see this?”

Me: “Sir, that’s really not the issue—”

Customer: “I was trying to adjust the screen. Not everyone’s eyes work as well as yours. So do yourself a favor and don’t go around assuming everyone with their eyes closed is sleeping!”

Me: *this flies in the face of every bit of training I’ve gotten, not to mention, I didn’t see him with his phone out when I saw him* “Sir, there is no need to take that tone with me. Also, your eyes were closed and your phone wasn’t there; exactly what am I supposed to assume?”

Customer: “Get out of here, boy, and mind your own business!”

(Since it is possible I may not have seen the phone, I decide it’s enough. His eyes are open.)

Me: “Okay, then. You have a nice day.” *I turn and walk away*

Customer: *mutters* “Mother-f***er!”

Me: “And the same to you, sir.”

A Series Of Unfortunate Questions

| ID, USA | Right | March 7, 2017

Patron: “Do you have Miss Peregrine’s Series of Unfortunate Events?”

Me: “That’s actually two separate book series: Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children and A Series of Unfortunate Events.” *checks computer* “The first Miss Peregrine book is checked out, but the second and third are available, and we have all the books in A Series of Unfortunate Events.”

Patron: “I’ll take the second book, and I’ll take all the ‘Series of Unfortunate Events’ books.”

Me: “All right, let me show you where they are.”

(I take the patron to the shelves and pull the first book, then show him where the ‘Unfortunate Events’ series is located.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Patron: “Do you have ‘Miss Peregrine’ on DVD?”

Me: “Unfortunately, it hasn’t been released on DVD yet. We can put you on hold for it, though.”

Patron: “Oh, okay… We have a VCR; do you have it on VHS?”

Me: “Um… no. I don’t think it’s going to be released on VHS.”

Patron: “Oh, okay… So do I read Series of Unfortunate Events before or after Miss Peregrine?”

Me: *realizes I’m not dealing with the brightest light in the harbor* “Actually, they’re two separate series by two different authors. Series of Unfortunate Events has nothing to do with Miss Peregrine.”

Patron: “Oh, so they’re like sequels?”

Me: “No. They’re two different book series. One has nothing to do with the other.”

Patron: “So, it’s like another season of the show?”

Me: “No, they’re completely separate book series. They don’t have the same characters or the same story or anything. They’re two. Separate. Stories.”

Patron: “Oh… so which one do I read first? Which is the sequel?”

Your Empathy Is Disabled

, | UK | Friendly | March 2, 2017

(The entrance to the library we have been studying in has a few steps to climb. Because of the dimensions of the room however, a disabled ramp isn’t feasible, so there is a small elevator instead. We are all heading out.)

Friend: “I’m so tired.” *yawns*

Me: “Same. I’m collapsing on my bed tonight.”

Friend: *nods and presses the button for the lift*

(We all stop.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Friend: “Going down.”

Other Friend: “That’s for the disabled!”

Friend: “Well, I’m disabled. I’M TIRED!”

Me: “That’s not how it works…”

(She shrugged and took the lift instead of walking down the FOUR STEPS a wheelchair-using person would find impossible to navigate, in full view of the entrance, with at least 20 people glaring from outside.)

Not Exactly Clean Eating

| CA, USA | Right | February 23, 2017

(Some cleaning solution has spilled on a table and dried. A four-year-old boy sees the stain, wipes up a bit on his finger, and licks it.)

Boy: *perplexed* “That’s not candy.”

Me: *speechless*

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