Mad About Madeline

, , , , , , | Related | November 15, 2017

(A father and daughter walk into the library with an armful of books.)

Father: “Hi. You accept donations, right?”

Me: “Sure, as long as they are in good condition and are not textbooks or phone books.”

(I go through the small stack, sorting them into children’s, adult fiction, etc, as well as pulling out a tablet case.)

Father: “You can just sell that or something.”

Me: “Sure.”

Me: *jokingly to the daughter as I pull a Madeline picture book out of the stack* “Are you sure you wanted to give this to us?”

Daughter: *alarmed* “NO! Nobody said we were going to give this to you!”

(She grabbed it from my hand and bolted for the doors. I apologized to her father, waited until they were out of sight, and only then began laughing.)

Precious Time It To The Music

, , , , | Right | November 14, 2017

Me: “Sir, I’m asking you again: please stop whistling. This is a quiet area.”

Patron: “I was listening to a song!”

Me: “You don’t have headphones on, and there’s no music playing.”

Patron: “Well, it was earlier, but I was listening to one!”

Hello Happy!

, , , , , , | Related | November 13, 2017

(My mom is a children’s librarian and is in charge of creating read-along programs for the kids. As she has partial hearing loss, she is not a big music fan, save for her kids’ songs she learns for her programs. I am visiting her at work one day when I see a picture book by Pharrell Williams with the words to his song “Happy.”)

Me: “Hey, Mom, did you see this? I know you’ve heard the song somewhere along the way. That’d be kind of cool for one of your programs!”

(I flip through the book, kind of humming the tune, while my mom tries to place it. She also flips through the book, mulling the idea over.)

Mom: “I don’t know who Pharrell Williams is. Is he popular in today’s music? Would the kids recognize the song?”

Me: *laughing* “I definitely think the kids would recognize the song. And yes, he is pretty popular, or at least some of his songs are. About as well-known as Adele.”

Mom: *blank stare* “Adele? Who’s he?”

Your Story Can’t Hold Water (Damage)

, , , , , , | Right | November 9, 2017

(A water-damaged junior book has been returned via the overnight returns. I call the customer to let them know about the charges, but they wish to come in the next day to inspect the book. The book is still wet and smells strongly of chlorine. The next day the father comes in with the daughter and asks to see the book. I go and get it and he looks it over. The book is still damp.)

Father: “I just cannot see her doing this to a book. She must have borrowed it like this.”

Me: “It is extremely unlikely that we had a book on our shelves that was wet. In addition, for it to stay wet for the whole four weeks that you had it out would be very strange.”

Father: “She gets A’s; she’s a good student. Sweetheart, tell the librarian about your spelling tests.”

Girl: “I always get 100%.”

Me: “That’s really great; however, the book was returned water-damaged—”

Father: “Sweetheart, you tell the librarian that you didn’t do this.”

Girl: “I didn’t do it on purpose.”

Me: “Did it happen by accident?”

Girl: “It was in my swimming bag and I kind of put my wet bathers on top, but I forgot it was in there.”

Me: “Sometimes accidents like this happen.”

Father: “No, you didn’t, sweetheart; you wouldn’t do that.”

Girl: “I did, though.”

Father: “Well, what is the charge?”

Me: “$12.50.”

Father: “That’s outrageous; I could get this book for $1!”

Me: “If you can source a brand new copy of this book for $1, then by all means, we can accept that instead of payment.”

Father: “You just wait. $1!”

(That was a month ago. I’m still waiting.)

No Offense, But Sexism

, , , , | Right | October 26, 2017

(I’m a female and work in a large computer lab with two other employees, both male. Although most patrons have no problem with me helping them, I have run into situations where patrons refuse my help outright and ask for a male employee.)

Patron: “Can I get some help, please?”

Me: “Sure.”

Patron: “Uh… No offense. I’d feel better if [Male Employee] helped me. It’s just that he looks smarter.”

Me: “Uh… Offense taken.”

(The kicker is he was using a program that I often use, and neither one of my male coworkers knows how to use it very well.)

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