Needs To See The Parenting Section

| NY, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Top

(Two brothers start fighting over a toy in the Children’s Room. They aren’t listening to their mother, who is trying to select books to take home.)

Me: “If you boys can’t share nicely with that toy, I’ll have to put it away so neither of you can play.”

Boys: “Okay, miss [my name].”

Mother: “Thank you. They never listen to me.”

(The boys start fighting again. I go in and take the toy away, putting it up out of reach. The boys start crying in unison.)

Boys: “Mommy!”

Mother: *to me* “I can’t believe you really took it away! That’s so mean!”

(She grabs the boys and they leave. I am speechless, but now I know why they never listen to their mother!)

Checking In On Checking Out

| Australia | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

(A customer has been using a self-checking machine. Half way through, she decides she doesn’t want a certain book and takes it back to the shelves. I’ve been watching her, so I know that she has actually checked the book out to herself before putting it back on the shelf.)

Me: “Excuse me! Can I just get that book from you, and I’ll check it back in? Don’t worry about shelving it; I’ll take care of that.”

Customer: “No, no. I don’t want this.”

Me: “I understand, but I just need to check it back in. Otherwise, it still appears as being out on your card.”

Customer: “But I don’t want it.”

Me: “I know. I understand. I’m not asking you to take it. I just want to check it in.”

Customer: “Are you daft? I. Don’t. Want. This. Book.”

Me: “Right. Look. If you don’t let me check this book in now, in four weeks time you are going to receive a letter informing you that this book is overdue.”

Customer: “No, I won’t. I haven’t borrowed it.”

Me: “Yes you have!”

Customer: “I don’t understand how someone as stupid as you got a job here. See those?” *points to security gates*Those are what check the books out to me. If I don’t carry the book through there, they aren’t on my card. Get it?!”

Me: *giving up* “You’re too right, ma’am. Sorry to have bothered you.”

(She leaves with a smug look on her face. Then I pick up the book and carry it out to my desk.)

Coworker: “You aren’t going to check that in, are you?”

Me: “H*** no.”

(Sure enough, five weeks later the customer comes in ranting and raving about ‘never having borrowed that book’. I bring it out from my desk and put it in front of her.)

Me: *shrugs* “Is this the book?”

Customer: “F***ing b****.”

Graded A For Audacity

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Top

Customer: “Why won’t anyone help me?!”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I didn’t see you. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I’m a student, and I have an essay due in two days.”

Me: “Okay, well what can I do for you? Do you need some research material?”

Customer: “Research material?”

Me: “Yes, like books, or websites, maybe news paper articles?”

Customer: “No, I need you to type up my essay.”

Me: “We don’t actually offer that service, but I can certainly find you a computer to use to type it up.”

Customer: “Fine.”

(I set the customer up on our word processing computer and give her some extra time to make sure she can get the essay finished. I then move away to continue working.)

Customer: *at the top of her voice again* “Excuse me! What are you doing?”

Me: “Did you need some help?”

Customer: “You haven’t even started my essay and you’ve walked away!”

Me: “Wait… are you asking me to actually write your essay for you?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “No, I can’t do that. You have to do your own essay, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “This library is horrible!” *storms out*

(Things didn’t end there; after leaving the library, the customer spent half an hour outside in the car park, screaming at people not to go inside!)