Graded A For Audacity

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Top

Customer: “Why won’t anyone help me?!”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I didn’t see you. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I’m a student, and I have an essay due in two days.”

Me: “Okay, well what can I do for you? Do you need some research material?”

Customer: “Research material?”

Me: “Yes, like books, or websites, maybe news paper articles?”

Customer: “No, I need you to type up my essay.”

Me: “We don’t actually offer that service, but I can certainly find you a computer to use to type it up.”

Customer: “Fine.”

(I set the customer up on our word processing computer and give her some extra time to make sure she can get the essay finished. I then move away to continue working.)

Customer: *at the top of her voice again* “Excuse me! What are you doing?”

Me: “Did you need some help?”

Customer: “You haven’t even started my essay and you’ve walked away!”

Me: “Wait… are you asking me to actually write your essay for you?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “No, I can’t do that. You have to do your own essay, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “This library is horrible!” *storms out*

(Things didn’t end there; after leaving the library, the customer spent half an hour outside in the car park, screaming at people not to go inside!)

Judging A Book Search By Its Cover

| USA | Bad Behavior

(I’m a volunteer at my local library. I see a woman looking at our Young Adult section with a confused look on her face.)

Me: “Excuse me, can I help you find anything?”

Customer: *rudely* “Ugh, yes, finally! Someone is here to help. I’ve been searching for 15 minutes for a book for my daughter. She’s been wanting to read it for ages!”

Me: “Well, if you can just give me the title and the author I can check if we have it in right now or if it’s currently checked out.”

Customer: “Thank god someone’s doing their job around here. It’s [name of book] by [author].”

(Before I even start typing, I realize why she isn’t finding the book, but I’ve barely begun explaining before she cuts me off.)

Me: “Oh, I see what the problem is—”

Customer: “Aren’t you even going to look up the book!? Every time I’ve come here, you people are incompetent! I can’t believe they pay you people any money at all!”

Me: “Well, actually miss, I don’t receive a salary because I’m a volunteer and—”

Customer: “Are you kidding me!? It’s no wonder you’ve been no help!”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, I know where the book you’re looking for is.”

Customer: “What? I can’t believe this! You little brat! What are you trying to do, waste my entire day?”

Me: “No, I’m very sorry to inconvenience you, but I’ve tried to tell you where the book is twice when, both times, you interrupted me.”

Customer: “You little b****! That’s it! I’m leaving and I won’t ever be checking out any more books! Without me, you’ll go out of business! I’ll just go get the f***ing book at [chain bookstore]. We’ll see how you like that, huh!”

(At this point, the customer storms out of the library. Hearing the lady cursing and yelling, the library manager comes out of his office asking what happened. I explain the situation.)

Manager: “Well, where is the book? How did you know where it was without looking it up in the system?”

Me: “I’m the one who checked it out.”

How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 4

| Wales, UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “I’m trying to get on to the computer, but the mouse cursor is just jumping all over the screen erratically. Can I swap to a different one?”

Me: “Of course, if there’s another one free.”

Customer: “But how do I log off this one if I can’t get the mouse cursor to press the button?”

Me: “I’ll come over and sort it in a second.”

(I walk over. Instantly, I see the problem.)

Customer: “Maybe there’s a loose wire or something?”

Me: “Well, if you turn the mouse back the right way round, it should work.”

Related:
How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 3