Time For A Change

| Dallas, TX, USA | Working | October 25, 2016

(I’ve worked as a page at the downtown branch of the Dallas Public Library, and we have an announcer who broadcasts notices of special events to the building as well as opening and closing notices. At about 4:45 Saturday evening I hear the following:)

Announcer: “Attention, please. The Library will be closing in 15 minutes. Please gather your belongings and take materials for checkout to the first floor. Again, we will be closing in 15 minutes. Thank you.”

(Now, I think little of this until it crosses my mind that since we expanded our hours a few months back, no longer close at 5:00 on any day except Sunday. Sure enough, the announcer comes back mere seconds later.)

Announcer: “Attention, please. Obviously, I cannot tell time. We are not closing yet. Thank you.”

I Stand Alone Among These Movies

| ID, USA | Working | October 21, 2016

(My coworker is in charge of the content on the TV screens that play at the main doors of the library, showing new releases, upcoming programs, and inspirational book-related quotes in a slideshow format. He also selects music to accompany said slideshows, and one month he decides to go with Disney music.)

Coworker: “Last week I did popular Disney songs, so this week I’m thinking of going with more obscure ones.”

Me: “Oh really? Like which ones?”

Coworker: “For one, I was thinking ‘I Stand Alone’ from ‘Quest For Camelot.’”

Me: “Um… that’s not a Disney movie.”

Coworker: “It’s not? I could have sworn it was.”

Me: “Nope. Warner Brothers made it, I think.”

Coworker: “Oh… well, another one I was thinking was ‘Once Upon a December’ from…”

Me: “’Anastasia’ isn’t Disney either.”

Coworker: “Really? What about ‘Swan Princess’?”

Me: “Not Disney.”

Coworker: “Dang it. Now you’re gonna tell me ‘The Black Cauldron’ isn’t Disney either.”

Me: “Actually, that one is.”

Coworker: “Dang it!”

Behave Or There Will Be The Devil To Anime

| OH, USA | Friendly | October 14, 2016

(The library is closing, so I haul my bag onto the table and begin packing my stuff. One young lady, who has spent the past week in the library studying around the same time I was there, approaches me.)

Lady: “Can I see your pins?”

Me: “Sure.” *I hold out the straps on my bag to let her see all the pins running across it*

Lady: “Wow. There’s a lot of anime pins here. I didn’t think you were the type to like anime.”

Me: “I love anime. What type of person did you think I was?” *I ask good-naturedly*

Lady: “I dunno. I just didn’t think you were someone who liked anime. Like, I sorta thought you were a Christian.”

Me: “I am a Christian.”

Lady: “I meant the kind of person who goes to church all the time.”

Me: “I do go to church all the time.”

Lady: “Oh… Well, I just didn’t think you were the kind of person who likes anime.”

Commuting Adult-ery

| USA | Right | October 14, 2016

(I am working my usual duties at the reference desk one afternoon. Our department oversees the public computers. A boy of about eleven walks up.)

Boy: “I want to get on the computer.”

Me: “That’s fine. Do you have your library card with you?”

Boy: “I don’t have one.”

Me: “You need one to use the computer. Is your mom here with you? Or your dad?”

Boy: “No.”

Me: “Oh, well, unfortunately your mom or dad has to be here to sign for you to get a card. I’m afraid you won’t be able to use the computer until one of your parents comes in with you.”

(The boy gives me a disgusted look and walks away. I go back to what I was doing and look up a few minutes later to see him standing in front of me with a young woman of about twenty.)

Boy: “Now you can give me a card!”

Me: *to the girl* “You can’t possibly be his mom!”

Boy: *shouting* “You told me ANY ADULT!”

Throw The Google Book At Them

| PA, USA | Right | September 29, 2016

(I’m working the Reference Desk at my local library. We often get questions from people asking for local phone numbers, addresses, etc., along with the general library questions. Calls like this one, where an elderly patron can’t find a number in their phone book, are very common.)

Me: “[Library], Information Services. This is [My Name].”

Patron: “Uh, I couldn’t find a local business in the phone book. Do you by chance have it in your Google book?”

(The patron is audible, but is slightly hard to hear because her television is so loud that I can clearly hear everything and identify the game show she is watching.)

Me: “I can definitely see if I can find it online for you. What business are you looking for?”

Patron: “Oh, dear… Uh… It was a local discount store…” *incoherent mumbling while [Game Show] is coming through more clearly than she is* “Oh! It’s [Dollar Store #1]! I want the one on [Boulevard I’m unfamiliar with].”

Me: “Sure thing! Let me check if it’s listed.” *pulls up all the listings for [Dollar Store #1]* “Ma’am, I don’t see one on [Boulevard], and I’m also not too familiar with it. Do any of these locations sound nearby?” *lists the locations*

Patron: *suddenly turns mean* “YOU’RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT! It’s on [Boulevard]! You’re supposed to know it and have it in your Google!” *continues ranting*

Me: *trying to avoid just hanging up on her, I suddenly realize there are two different dollar store chains in the city* “Uh, ma’am? Ma’am? Did you by chance mean [Dollar Store #2]? I just looked it up and there’s one on [Boulevard].”

Patron: *another mood flip* “Oh? Maybe. I forgot there were two of them. I’m sorry… Is it by [Department Store]?” *clearly very embarrassed*

Me: “Yes. That’s coming up on the map. Is this what you needed the phone number for?”

Patron: “Yes, and would you mind speaking up? I can’t hear you over my television. What’s the phone number?”

Me: *can’t really speak up, or else I would be shouting* “The number is…” *starts slowly giving the phone number*

(I end up having to repeat the phone number at least ten times. She keeps making up numbers and thinking that some are doubled up. Eventually:)

Me: “Ma’am? I’m just going to start over and give you the number slowly. That way we know that no one is losing their place. All right?”

Patron: “All right. What is it?”

(I slowly give the number, pausing a second between numbers. Right after the area code and first three digits…)

Patron: “Oh, hold on, honey. Would you mind waiting while I go find a pen and paper? I’m not going to remember this whole thing. That’s why I kept getting mixed up!”

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