It’s the beginning of the academic year, and the university campus is crammed with new and returning students and their families. The staff is desperately multi-tasking to keep up with enquiries, complaints, and ongoing tasks. It’s chaos, but we love it; it’s always good to see the students back.

This year, among the new students is an autistic student who had their favourite soft toy with them. Unfortunately, they lost it in the madhouse of Freshers’ Fayre and were brought into the library to decompress in a calm space. This didn’t work; they were increasingly distressed by the loss and in full meltdown. Various library staff were dispatched to look for the toy with no result.

Then, University Security arrived on the scene. Security are big chaps with full gear (body cams and all), highly professional, and very experienced in keeping the peace.

[Security Guard #1] marches up to the distressed student.

Security Guard #1: “Now then, young man. I hear you’ve had a bit of a do.”

The student goes very quiet and their eyes go wide. They obviously think they’re in big trouble.

Security Guard #1: “We hear you’ve lost your friend. Well, maybe we can find a new friend for you”

[Security Guard #2] produced from behind his back a teddy bear, complete with a gown and a mortar board. The student looked bewildered, and the staff present all burst into tears. The student wasn’t sure what to make of this, but it did calm them for a bit, long enough for a very flustered member of library staff to dash in with the original lost toy, having found it on the way to their car. (They then had to dash back off again because they needed to pick up their child from school.)

We haven’t seen the student since, but we hope they think of the library as a safe space where they’re welcome and have learned how awesome our security staff are!

This summer, there was a big thunderstorm in my city. I was at work in my library, looking out of the window at the pouring rain. I saw a lightning strike hit nearby, and a few moments later, the power went out and the entire place went dark.

I hurried back to the office area to check with my coworkers if the power was out everywhere. It turned out that the whole block was dark. These power outages usually don’t last very long, so I went back out into the library to keep the patrons informed.

On my way over to the reference desk, a lady stopped me.

Patron: “Are you closing already?”

Me: “No, we’re not, but the power seems to be out in the whole block. It’s probably going to come back on again soon, but until then, there’s not much we can do.”

Patron: “I thought you were open until five. I wanted to check out my books.”

Me: “We are open until five, but it’s a little difficult to run a library without electricity. Let’s wait a couple of minutes and see if it comes back on again; otherwise, we’ll call the electric company.”

Patron: *Muttering to herself* “You should let the public know if you’re going to close early.”

I came to the conclusion that I was not going to get through to her no matter what I said, so I continued on my way to check on other patrons who might actually listen to what I was saying.

In the front hall, I ran into a teenage girl who looked very distressed, so I stopped to make sure she was all right.

Girl: “I’m so sorry!”

Me: “What for?”

Girl: “I just wanted to get some coffee!”

Me: “Oh, the power is out in the building. I’m sure it’ll be back again soon.”

Girl: “So, it wasn’t my fault?”

Me: “No, it’s probably the thunderstorm; I saw a lightning strike nearby. Why would it be your fault?”

Girl: “I pressed the button on the coffee machine, and everything went dark! I thought it was something I did!”

After reassuring her that the power outage had nothing to do with her coffee cravings, I spent a few moments reflecting on how people have very different reactions to unexpected inconveniences.

The power came back on a few minutes later.

I am running the check-in booth at the library for a children’s event. A mom comes up with two young children.

Mom: *In a low voice* “Hi. I completely forgot that we were supposed to register for the event. Is there any chance there’s still space for us? I understand if not.”

Me: “Absolutely! If you could sign in on this paper, you’re all set to go!”

Mom: “Oh, my gosh, thank you! You’re the best. I really appreciate it. I’ll be sure to register for any other events in the future.”

Me: “No problem! Enjoy the show.”

She moves to the side to fill out the information while I continue to check in other families. A woman right behind the mom speaks in a very snooty and loud voice:

Woman: “Checking in for [Woman]. We actually registered, unlike some people.”

I look through our list of registered people, and guess what name I can’t find?

Me: “Unfortunately, it does not look like you are on our list. Any chance you have an email with the confirmation?”

The woman’s face drops. She pulls out her phone and looks through it for a minute.

Woman: *Now in a hushed voice* “My niece said she registered, but I don’t know.”

Me: “Well, we still have plenty of room, so you’re more than welcome to still join. However, let’s make sure we’re registered for other events, okay?” 

She very quickly filled out her information and hurried away from the booth. The nice mom, who had overheard the entire thing, looked pretty amused.

A patron has been using one of our reference computers to find books on particular subjects, and he approaches me with a list. It should be noted that we get a lot of conspiracy theory nuts and hunters of the paranormal as they believe the information on the Internet is either fake or gets them put on some kind of government “watch list”.

Patron: “I’m looking for books on these subjects. I’m having trouble with the last one!”

The list contains your standard list on paranormal subjects, but the last one is written as “a$$tral projection.”

Me: “Sir, I think you’re having trouble with that last one because it’s misspelled.”

Patron: “No! I know what I wrote, and I’m looking for that!”

Me: “Sir, either that’s misspelled or it’s a type of book you wouldn’t find in a public library.”

Patron: “Why? Scared of educating the masses about what truths are really out there?”

Me: “Sir, just remove an S from this and you should find the computers a lot more helpful.”

The patron suddenly realizes their error, turns red, and slinks away. I tell my manager about it as he witnessed the encounter. 

Manager: “You were far too nice. I would have just sent him to YouTube and typed in ‘how to twerk’.”

It’s the summer of 2017. I’ve not even been working my library job for a year. We are so busy in summer at this time that we have a third person working desk. I’m that third person.

I’m helping people like normal when this lady stomps inside screaming, sweat drops sliding down her everywhere.

Patron: “Y’all stole my phone!”

I check around the desk to see if anyone has turned in a phone, but I don’t see one. She’s red in the face, screaming.

Patron: “I’m gonna call the police! Give me back my phone!”

Suddenly, a solution appears.

Me: “Ma’am, I think I know where your phone is.”

Patron: “What?! Where?! How?!”

Me: “Your boob is ringing.”

Yep. Her phone had slipped into her bra to be under her boob. I have no clue how she didn’t hear it.

When she left, my manager said she was surprised I handled being screamed at like that, and she made a joke about being glad the phone wasn’t on vibrate.

Related:
Making A Boob Of One Self, Part 13
Making A Boob Of One Self, Part 12
Making A Boob Of One Self, Part 11
Making A Boob Of One Self, Part 10
Making A Boob Of One Self, Part 9