Some Customers Make You Go White As A Sheet

, , , | Right | August 28, 2017

(I work in the computer lab as a clerk. One evening, a women comes in wearing what I assume is a summer dress. It’s summer and we often get people in who wear risque clothing.)

Coworker: “Is she wearing a sheet?”

Me: “No, I think it’s a summer dress.”

(My coworker shrugs and goes back to work. The lady stands up and comes over to my desk for help. I take a look at her dress, and realize that it is in fact a sheet, cut away in some places and tied in others.)

Me: “She is wearing a sheet!”

Coworker: “I’ll call the manager.”

(They do, and the manager comes over.)

Manager: “You guys, that is clearly a summer dress.”

Coworker: “Wait for it.”

Me: “Let’s call her over just to make sure.”

(It turns out, we don’t have to call her over. She comes up to the desk again to ask for help. My coworker goes over and helps her while my manager and I try to figure out what to do.)

Manager: “Okay, that’s definitely a sheet.”

Me: “Is there anything we can do?”

Manager: “Well, she is wearing clothing, and it covers her all up… I’m going to say no, although it’s really inappropriate. Just imagine if it came untied. It doesn’t look like she’s wearing any type of material under it.”

(As my manager is leaving the top half of the lady’s “dress” comes untied.)

Customer: “Can you tie me back up? I seemed to have popped out. Don’t want my boobies popping out.”

Me: “Uh…”

Coworker: *silent*

Me: “I… uh… guess.”

Customer: “Thanks. I made this, you know.”

Me: “No kidding?”

Customer: “I can make you one, too.”

Me: “Uh… no thanks.”

(I’m having some trouble tying the two ends that hold in her breasts.)

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t think I can tie it.”

Customer: “Oh, just pull it hard. It’ll go together.”

(I barely managed tie her back up, and she left after that, praising me for saving the day.)

 

Ah Man(wha)!

, , , , | Learning | August 28, 2017

I checked out the first volume of a manwha (Korean comic). A few days later, I returned it. A few days after that, I got an email telling me that my manwha would be due soon. I called the library and told them I returned it, which they took surprisingly well. They asked me to double check my house, which I did, but they didn’t fine me.

A week later, I return to the library to read the rest of the series. The first and 5-10th volumes are missing, but I figure someone else checked the latter out. This time, I make sure to get a return receipt.

Next week, I’m at the library again, and the whole series is missing! I check the database, and the entire collection is listed as lost. I ask the librarian, and they tell me, “People check them out but never return them. They keep saying they did but I know they’re lying! These things are expensive to get over here, so you can sell them for a lot. This is why I hate foreign comic books!”

This Is Not The Genre You Are Looking For

, , | Working | August 27, 2017

Me: *discussing children’s books* “Do we still put the Star Wars books in the superhero section?”

Coworker: “Superheroes?! The Star Wars characters aren’t superheroes! They’re space wizards!”

I Don’t Hate Men, Just You

, , , , | Romantic | August 27, 2017

(I’m at the library, minding my own business, when a man old enough to be my father approaches me. He’s not a total stranger; we have seen each other at the library before. We’ve even had the basic, “Hi, how’s the weather?” conversation the previous week, but nothing beyond that. Note that we haven’t said a single word to each other this day.)

Man: “Hey, here’s my number, [phone number]. And don’t forget it.”

Me: “Um… okay.”

Man: “So, what about dinner at [Local Restaurant]?”

Me: “I don’t date.”

Man: “What? Hate men or something?”

Me: “No. I’m asexual. I’m not into dating anyone.”

Man: “Oh. Coffee, then?”

(This is far from the only conversation I’ve had with men old enough to be my father. Without fail, even after telling them I don’t date, they ask me out for coffee. They don’t even seem to care enough about me to know I don’t drink coffee [I’m a tea drinker]. And this has happened over a half a dozen times.)

Qeography

, , , , | Learning | August 23, 2017

(Overheard conversation in the library between two grade-eight students from a class I’m covering.)

Kid #1: “I met my new neighbours yesterday. They’re from a place near Saudi Arabia that starts with a G.”

Kid #2: “Ghana?”

Kid #1: “Ghana? Oh, ya, that must be it!”

Me: “I think it’s Qatar. It’s pronounced with a G.”

Kid #1: “Are you sure it’s not Ghana? You’re not the geography teacher.”

Me: “Kid, if it’s Ghana I will not make you do your final exam.”

(It was Qatar by the way; the kid told me the next day.)

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