Literally Consume Books

, | Burlingon, NJ, USA | Learning | February 28, 2016

(It is third grade. My friend has brought her backpack to library. She is very outgoing. Luckily, our librarian has a great sense of humor.)

Librarian: “Has everyone returned their library books? Have you, [Friend]?”

Friend: *reaches into her backpack and pulls out a chewed up book, and a picture of her new puppy, with the book in its mouth*

Friend: “Yup.”

(The librarian had such a good laugh out of that, she decided to pay for half of the cost of replacing the book if she got to hang the picture on her desk.)

Scanning For Signs Of Intelligence

, | OH, USA | Right | February 24, 2016

Patron: “Can I scan this?”

Me: “Do you want to scan it or photocopy?”

Patron: “Scan.”

Me: “Okay. Our scanner’s right here. Here’s the program. It’ll take a second to warm up, and then you’re good to go.”

Patron: “And once it’s scanned in, I can print it, right?”

Me: “Uh… if… if you’re just going to print it, it’s probably faster just to photocopy it.”

Patron: “Oh. Okay.”

(These are the people who are going to be running the country, folks. Scary.)

The Secret Life Of Librarians

| Norway | Related | February 15, 2016

(I am working at the public library one Saturday, when I overheard the following conversation between a little girl and her mom:)

Girl: “Where are the beds?”

Mom: *confused* “Beds? I don’t think there are any beds here, honey. Why, would you like to have a sleepover at the library?”

Girl: *pointing to the librarians* “No… but where do THEY sleep?”

(I had a hard time not bursting out laughing.)

Sloppy Copy

, | OH, USA | Learning | February 1, 2016

Patron: “Can I scan this?”

Me: “Do you want to scan it or photocopy?”

Patron: “Scan.”

Me: “Okay. Our scanner’s right here. Here’s the program. It’ll take a second to warm up, and then you’re good to go.”

Patron: “And once it’s scanned in, I can print it, right?”

Me: “Uh… if… if you’re just going to print it, it’s probably faster just to photocopy it.”

Patron: “Oh. Okay.”

(These are the people who are going to be running the country, folks.)

The Magical Kingdom Of Death

| SC, USA | Working | January 25, 2016

(I have just begun training to fill a part time position at the local library, and I’m filling in for someone in the back room. As I’m checking in returned books, the following conversation takes place.)

Librarian #1: “Hey, where’s [Librarian #2]?”

Librarian #3: “She left early, remember? Said she didn’t want to get to Florida at 3:00 in the morning.”

Librarian #1: “Oh, yeah. Hey, isn’t she going to Disney?”

Librarian #3: “Yep. She told me she found a hotel for only 35$ a night.”

Librarian #1: “WHAT?!”

Librarian #4: “WHAT?!”

Random Coworker: *pops head into room* “WHAT?!”

Librarian #1: “Doesn’t she realize how creepy and fishy that is? Nobody rents rooms for that cheap!”

Librarian #4: “This is how murder mysteries start!”

Librarian #3: “I know! I told her that. She said she wasn’t passing it up because it was her last day of Spring Break. I said, ‘No, it’s your last day alive!’ But she went anyway.”

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