It Just Doesn’t Click

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Right | March 2, 2016

(I am a librarian. A patron comes up to the reference desk.)

Patron: “How can I print out pictures that I find on the web?”

Me: “Here, use this mouse and keyboard, and I’ll walk you through an example. Here’s a random picture that I found on the Internet. Press Control+P and watch what happens… Okay, good! You’re looking at the print dialog box. Now, don’t do this part now, but when you’re in the computer lab doing this with a picture you actually want to print, you’ll click the Print button.”

Patron: “And then it will print?”

Me: “Yes. Don’t click Print now, but when you’re in the lab, you’ll click Print and your picture will print out downstairs.”

Patron: *click*

Me: “…aaand here’s your complimentary printout of a random picture.”

Literally Consume Books

, | Burlingon, NJ, USA | Learning | February 28, 2016

(It is third grade. My friend has brought her backpack to library. She is very outgoing. Luckily, our librarian has a great sense of humor.)

Librarian: “Has everyone returned their library books? Have you, [Friend]?”

Friend: *reaches into her backpack and pulls out a chewed up book, and a picture of her new puppy, with the book in its mouth*

Friend: “Yup.”

(The librarian had such a good laugh out of that, she decided to pay for half of the cost of replacing the book if she got to hang the picture on her desk.)

Scanning For Signs Of Intelligence

, | OH, USA | Right | February 24, 2016

Patron: “Can I scan this?”

Me: “Do you want to scan it or photocopy?”

Patron: “Scan.”

Me: “Okay. Our scanner’s right here. Here’s the program. It’ll take a second to warm up, and then you’re good to go.”

Patron: “And once it’s scanned in, I can print it, right?”

Me: “Uh… if… if you’re just going to print it, it’s probably faster just to photocopy it.”

Patron: “Oh. Okay.”

(These are the people who are going to be running the country, folks. Scary.)

The Secret Life Of Librarians

| Norway | Related | February 15, 2016

(I am working at the public library one Saturday, when I overheard the following conversation between a little girl and her mom:)

Girl: “Where are the beds?”

Mom: *confused* “Beds? I don’t think there are any beds here, honey. Why, would you like to have a sleepover at the library?”

Girl: *pointing to the librarians* “No… but where do THEY sleep?”

(I had a hard time not bursting out laughing.)

Sloppy Copy

, | OH, USA | Learning | February 1, 2016

Patron: “Can I scan this?”

Me: “Do you want to scan it or photocopy?”

Patron: “Scan.”

Me: “Okay. Our scanner’s right here. Here’s the program. It’ll take a second to warm up, and then you’re good to go.”

Patron: “And once it’s scanned in, I can print it, right?”

Me: “Uh… if… if you’re just going to print it, it’s probably faster just to photocopy it.”

Patron: “Oh. Okay.”

(These are the people who are going to be running the country, folks.)

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