My daughter and I are at an event that has brought in horses dressed up as unicorns. We are waiting our turn in line when I overhear a mom talking to her child.
Children: *Crying* “I don’t want to see the unicorns!”
Mom: “Honey, it’s okay! Remember unicorns are make-believe? It’s not an actual unicorn. It’s just a cow dressed up as one.”
This happened around 2019. As I had an exam in a week, I went to the library to find the textbooks and other resources to study for it. It was a closed-book exam, but we were allowed a single two-page cheat sheet, so I was planning to type everything on a Google Doc that my friends and I all had so we could all print it out before the exam.
I was trying to finish the lessons that I was assigned to do the cheat sheet for. Luckily, I found a table in a secluded area of the library. I had been sitting there for a good forty-five minutes to an hour when I heard someone clear their throat rather loudly nearby.
Guy: “Excuse me! You have been using that computer for more than an hour now. You need to let other people like me use it.”
Me: “Um, the library computers are on the other side of the level over there.”
I pointed in the general direction
Guy: “No, I dont want to walk all the way over there; just give me this one.”
Me: “This is my own laptop. Get your own.”
This pissed him off, apparently. He tried to take my laptop. I moved it out of the way, which caused me to push my stationery off the table. It hit the floor with a loud thud. This caused the librarian to walk over.
Librarian: “What is going on here?”
Guy: “This girl is hogging the computer and not letting me use it to check my emails!”
Me: “This is my own laptop, not the library’s.”
The librarian looked at the sticker-covered laptop.
Librarian: “Yes, sir, that is her laptop, not the library’s. I am going to have to ask you to leave as you are disturbing other readers.”
The man huffed and walked out of the library.
I left the library at about 5:00 pm as the library had to close early. I saw this dude waiting outside the d*** library. HE STOOD OUTSIDE THE LIBRARY FOR AN HOUR!
I saw him and decided to walk out the other way around the library building. Halfway home, I had to make a turn at a corner with a mirror for cars to see if anyone is turning. I looked at it and found the guy following me. I sprinted across the bridge and all the way home.
To this day, I don’t know what the f*** this dude’s problem was. He followed me out of the library because I wouldn’t let him use my laptop?! What the f***?
Patron: “Can I scan this document to be double-sided?”
Me: “Like you want to send it to your email? As a PDF?”
Patron: “Yes.”
Me: “Well, right now it is single-sided, so just feed it through the scanner and it will go straight to your email; you don’t have to change any of the scan settings.”
Patron: “Well, I want it double-sided.”
Me: “Umm… when it gets to your email, it’s no longer a piece of paper. You can’t double-side an electronic document.”
This conversation went on longer than necessary, and I am still not even sure he understood.
I work in an archive. People come by pretty regularly to look at old photos of the city, which we can scan and reprint for them.
Patron: “I want a copy of this old picture.”
They indicate a hundred-plus-year-old picture.
Me: “Certainly, I can scan that for you and—”
Patron: “But can I get it in color?”
Me: “…no.”
Patron: “But I would prefer it in color.”
Me: “It’s an old picture. It’s only available in black and white.”
Patron: *Sighs* “Why is it when pictures get old, the color always fades with time?” *Leaves forlornly*
Back in the seventies, I worked in a library that was part of a municipal complex. At closing time one evening — 9:00 pm — we realized that a brother and sister, under the age of ten, were in the children’s room unsupervised. They told us their parents were playing tennis.
Policy said we should call the police, but one of my colleagues very kindly took the children by the hand (literally) and walked them a block to the tennis courts.
This was after her sign-out time, of course, and if one of the kids had fallen down and gotten a bloody nose the parents could have sued the city and my colleague would have been, at best, disciplined.
Colleague: “Please don’t leave your children in the library unsupervised.”
Mother: *Snottily* “Oh, was it so hard for you to bring them over here?”
Yeah, you’re welcome.
