(I have been checking books back in that have been left on our returns desk and come across a new book that has been badly damaged by what looks to be coffee. When the patron comes back to the circulation desk, I show her the book.)
Me: “Good morning! I’ll check those out for you in just a moment. Unfortunately because this book has been damaged quite badly, we won’t be able to have it in our collection any more. The replacement cost will be [dollar amount]; are you able to pay now or should I send an invoice out?”
Patron: “Oh, it was like that when I took it out!”
Me: “I’m sorry, but we’d never loan something in that condition, and as it was on your membership, you are liable for the damage done to it while on loan.”
Patron: “I didn’t do it! You can’t prove I did it! It must have been the person before me! I won’t pay! It’s been like that for ages.”
Me: “Ma’am, this is a new book. We only got it last month and the only person to have it before you was I. And I can assure you, I didn’t spill coffee on this book.”
(There is a long pause.)
Patron: “Um, how much was it?”
(My mother is a librarian and does a ‘Story Hour’ with young children. This time she is using the story ‘There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly.’ She has written her own story, focusing on common objects in a library. Mom reads out one of the lines.)
Mom: “There was an old lady who swallowed a bag. Oh how she gagged when she swallowed the bag.”
Me: “Mom! Seriously? How she GAGGED when she swallowed a BAG?!”
(There is a long awkward pause as my mother thinks about it.)
Mom: “It’s alright; the kids won’t get it; they’re too young!”
(A girl of about 11 years old, who is a frequent library user, has brought a stack of books to my counter to check out. I’m in my 20s.)
Me: “Oh, lots of books about being a veterinarian!”
Girl: *nods head enthusiastically*
Me: “Well, when you become a vet I’ll bring my pets to you.”
Girl: *startled expression* “You’ll be dead by then!”
(I overhear the following conversation between a boy who is about 12, and his grandmother.)
Grandmother: “What are you reading there?”
Boy: “The Hunger Games.”
Grandmother: “What’s that about?”
Boy: “Don’t worry Grandma. It’s about these kids who enter a Hungry Hungry Hippos tournament, and the winner wins a bag of candy!”
Grandmother: “Oh. That sounds nice!”
(I work at a university library. It’s that time of the semester where everyone is trying to get their textbooks for free. A student walks up.)
Student: “Can you help me find the book for my chemistry class?”
Me: “Sure I can help you; what’s the title?”
Student: “I don’t know.”
Me: “Do you know the author?”
Student: “No.”
Me: “Well what is the course number, so I can look it up?”
Student: “I don’t know.”
Me: “Do you know your professor’s name?”
Student: “No.”
Me: “Well do you have your syllabus?”
Student: “No.”
Me: “…you really need to know this information, for me to help you and just in general.”
Student: “I do know the book is tan…”
