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Your Business Model Is Rent Out Of Shape

| SD, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Money, Movies & TV

(I work at a public library at the circulation desk. One day a young man approaches the desk.)

Patron: “How much is it to rent a book?”

Me: “If you have a library card, it is free. If you live outside the county, you pay for the card but borrowing items is always free.”

(The patron then wandered over to the audio books before returning to the desk.)

Patron: “How much to rent books on CD?”

Me: “They are free to borrow, sir.”

(He shakes his head and goes to the DVD section. Again he returns to the desk.)

Patron: “How many DVDs can I take and what does it cost?”

Me: “You may borrow five at a time and there is no cost unless they are returned late.”

(The patron looks confused.)

Patron: “I just don’t get why you do this if there’s no money in it for you. Well, good luck with that!”

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Carded And Drafted

| Fort Wayne, IN, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I have just had a man get very angry with me because I wouldn’t let his kid or grandkid get on the computers.)

Guy: “This kid has his library card number memorized. Why can’t he get on the computers?”

Me: “He has to have his actual library card with him in order to get on the computers.”

Guy: “He can’t just tell you his card number and get on one?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. He has to have his actual card with him.”

Guy: *glares and moves closer to me* “Why?”

Me: “It’s one of our library branch’s rules.”

Guy: “You have got to be kidding me.”

Me: “I’m 100% serious. I have to have a physical card in order to scan it into the computer to make a reservation.”

Guy: *leans over the table and puts his finger in my face* “Well, whoever made up that rule should’ve been drafted in Vietnam like I was!”

(He then walked away muttering about how that was “bullshit” and leaving me absolutely speechless, mouth hanging open.)

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His Thinking Is Far To The Right

, | Fayetteville, AK, USA | Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers, Popular, School

(Usually, it’s pretty slow but one day a patron is very irate and storms over to me.)

Me: “Hello, sir. How may I help you?”

Patron: “You need to change your doors!”

Me: *slightly confused* “Excuse me?”

Patron: “Your doors are on the wrong side. This is f***ing America! We do everything to the right! You god-d*** door entrances are on the left. I demand you fix them!”

Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask that you stop using that type of language and keep your voice down. I’m sorry you have such a problem with the position of our doors. I can fill out a maintenance request but I don’t think there is much they will be willing to do since they isn’t actually anything physically wrong with the doors.”

Patron: “Listen here! I’m the Dean of this library! I demand you fix those doors right now! This is America, not f***ing England! ”

Me: “Sir, I am asking you again to lower your voice and not speak to me that way. If I have to ask you again I will be asking you to leave. And sir, that’s pretty amazing surgery if you’re in fact the dean.”

Patron: “What the h*** are you talking about?”

Me: “Well, sir, you’re a Caucasian, mid-twenties male. Our Dean, at least as of this morning when she came in, was an African American, middle-aged woman.”

(He stormed out of the library as security quickly followed him. He was banned from the library and I never did put in that maintenance request!)

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