They Totally Mismanaged That, Part 2

, , , , , , | Working | February 16, 2018

(We hire a seasonal worker who is in high school. She only works weekends, yet after only three weeks she gets promoted to product co-manager because she knows higher-ups. She comes into the store a few times, very smug about her promotion. She often shoves her work onto us, as she doesn’t believe it is worth her time. For example, she refuses to take out garbage even though all the tills are full and the garbage is overflowing. Even the DM takes out the garbage sometimes so it isn’t unreasonable. However, because she isn’t actually in the store that often, she doesn’t always know the answer to questions customers have even though she’ll pretend to.)

Customer: “How much does fudge cost?”

Product Co-Manager: “Oh, it’s like $10.”

Me: “Actually, it’s $5.99, and we’re having a buy-one-get-one deal.”

Product Co-Manager: “Right, so it’s around $10. Don’t you have somewhere else to be, [My Name]?”

Customer: “Actually, can I ask you a few more questions?”

Product Co-Manager: “Sure!”

Customer: “Oh… I meant her.” *meaning me*

(The product co-manager glares at me and storms away. A few days later, my manager pulls me into the back room.)

Manager: “We got an anonymous customer complaint about you.”

Me: “What?”

Manager: “They said you were rude, and would always send them to other people because you were too busy on your phone.”

Me: “When?”

Manager: “Tuesday at eight.”

Me: “[Manager], I called in sick this Tuesday. It couldn’t have been me.”

Manager: “Really?”

(My manager looked up the records and saw that I called in sick Tuesday and Wednesday, and wasn’t scheduled Monday. There was no way that complaint was about me. They sent back an email asking to verify the employee they were complaining about. The next day I saw my manager yelling at the product co-manager in the back room. It turns out the product co-manager sent an anonymous complaint about me to get me written up or moved. My manager saw her email open on her phone, and she had the email the company sent to the “anonymous customer.” The product co-manager was fired immediately.)

They Totally Mismanaged That

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The Lies Will Set You Free… From Employment

, , , , , , | Working | February 16, 2018

A coworker who works evenings called in sick. We managed to get someone to cover his shift and everything seemed fine.

Management and employees are all pretty friendly with each other, so it’s a very relaxed atmosphere; apparently, so relaxed that the coworker felt very comfortable coming in to buy alcohol during the time he was supposedly “sick” and bragging about how he just wanted the night off for a party. He bragged to the supervisor on hand.

He denied doing it later when my manager brought him in to talk about it, even with multiple witnesses. Despite this, my manager gave him a chance and told him that as long as he admitted to what he’d done and was sincere in his apology, there wouldn’t be any disciplinary action.

He swore up and down he didn’t do it and was fired on the spot since multiple witnesses were present in the shop and another co-worker — who actually had the night off — saw him at the party.

My manager just couldn’t trust him after that.

Later I heard him threatening the other coworker for “grassing him up” about it.

Honesty is sometimes better than a bold-faced lie.

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From Sweet To Bitter In Less Than One Bite

, , , , , | Right | February 14, 2018

Customer: “I can’t have chocolate, because I’m diabetic. You have to stop me if I order anything with chocolate in it.”

Me: “Oh, okay. What can I get you?”

Customer: “A big slab of millionaire’s shortbread and a large mochaccino, please.”

(When I advise her that both of those contain chocolate, she becomes irate and abusive, and screams and demands a manager.)

Customer: “Your staff is insulting me. She’s refusing to sell me anything sweet, saying I’m fat and should be dead. I’m very upset!”

(The manager looks at me, completely confused, as he knows I’m not that confrontational. When I try to speak, the customer spins even more outlandish tales, such as me questioning her husband’s virility and sexuality, and suggesting she become bulimic and die on the toilet.)

Manager: “I… I just can’t believe [My Name] could say all this in the five seconds I was in the kitchen. All I heard from her was, ‘Okay,’ when you mentioned your medical condition.”

(The customer went wide-eyed and left briskly.)

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Just Got Owned And The Owner Isn’t Even Here

, , , , , | Right | February 13, 2018

(I work in a hotel.)

Guest: “Come on. You can give me a better rate than that! I know [Owner].”

Me: *feigning glee* “Heeeyyy! Me, too!”

Guest: “Hmm… No. I mean, I know him! Personally!”

Me: “ME, TOO! I was just at the BBQ bash he gave for his best friends, associates, and business partners. How come I didn’t see you there?”

Guest: *gives up and accepts the standard rate*

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Water Difference That Makes

, , , , | Healthy | February 13, 2018

(I am a medical lab scientist. I receive a urine sample from the ER to test only for drugs, marked as belonging to a fifteen-year-old boy. The sample is quite clear — if someone is really hydrated that can happen — and it’s cold. We usually receive urine still warm, but sometimes it sits while they decide if they want to test it for anything. It’s negative for all the street drugs we test for. I release the results and then, a bit later, I get a call from a nurse.)

Nurse: “Hi. I was just wondering about the drug screen for [Patient].”

Me: “Sure. What do you need?”

Nurse: “Well, it was cold when he gave it to me, and I just don’t quite believe it’s negative. Is there anything you could do to find out if it was water?”

(I think for a moment and come up with a few fast things that I could do to find out whether or not it is water.)

Me: “Yeah, let me grab it and try something.”

(I do a really quick test and come up with something you would not expect for pee.)

Me: “Either this kid is in very severe kidney failure, or this is water.”

Nurse: “Thank you. I just graduated and passed my boards, so I’m still learning knowledge-versus-wisdom. Now I know when I feel like the urine feels cold, I should do something about it.”

Me: “Did you want me to credit those charges?”

Nurse: “Yes. We will be recollecting. And there will be a male care tech going in that bathroom with him.”

Me: *laughing* “I would imagine.”

(Once I get off the phone, I do some more chemical testing and learn that this sample has none of the chemical properties of urine. This kid didn’t even think to try the one where you dilute your actual pee with water — which we can also catch — or even to just put WARM water in the cup. It was straight, cold, tap-water. I walk across the lab to tell this one to the other lab scientists, one of whom is known for being extremely cynical about everything.)

Cynical Coworker: “That nurse is way too nice. I’d catheterize the kid. Teach him to never do that one again.”

(We then started a prizeless pool, guessing what the kid was on that he was trying to hide. In the end, the actual urine arrived, and it was positive for marijuana.)

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