A Transformative Incident

, , , , , | Right | June 5, 2018

(We’re performing spring maintenance on one of our outdoor lighting systems. This involves cleaning fixtures, changing lamps, and a general tidy-up of the system. One of our new hires accidentally breaks a fixture that we don’t have parts to repair.)

Me: “I’m sorry about the damaged fixture. At the moment, we don’t have the proper parts to repair it. But I can make a note of it on the invoice and we can send someone back as soon as possible to fix it.”

Client: “Oh, that’s no problem. I’ll have my electrician look at it. I guess someone forgot to mention to you that those fixtures aren’t part of your system; you don’t have to worry about servicing them today.”

(We finish up, and as she said, we don’t do the other fixtures. I still make note of the broken one on our paperwork just to have record of it, along with what she said about having her electrician fix it. Fast forward a couple weeks, and I’m working a day with our service tech. He has a work order for the place with the broken fixture, saying the system isn’t working at all now, along with a bunch of accusations about our shoddy work. We arrive and I notice the fixture we broke has been repaired. I take it out of the ground and immediately see the problem.)

Me: “Hey, [Tech], I found the problem. Remember how she said her electrician would fix this? Well, whoever fixed it crossed the wires and shorted the system.”

Tech: *laughing* “Yeah, that’ll do it. Let’s find the transformer so we can reset it.”

(I fixed the wiring and we reset the system. Everything worked perfectly. The tech made a note on the invoice for this visit that it was not our work that was faulty and therefore wasn’t under warranty. She later called to complain that she had to pay and claimed nobody else works on the system besides us, despite the four of us that were there that day stating she told us her electrician would fix it. The office ended up crediting her account just to shut her up. From now on, I plan to get this sort of thing in writing.)

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Threading In Some Lies

, , , , , | Friendly | June 4, 2018

(My mother and I go to the garage sale of an old family friend who often goes to storage unit auctions. While browsing, I find a gallon zipper bag that is stuffed full of tangled-up embroidery floss with a 50-cent price sticker on it, so I snag it. I find a few other odds and ends that I like and start towards the register with it when another woman suddenly snatches the bag of embroidery floss from me and hurries to the check-out table with it.)

Woman: *to [Friend’s Husband] in a syrupy sweet voice* “I’d like to offer you 25 cents for this bag of embroidery thread. It’s going to take me a very long time to untangle this mess before I can use it.”

Friend’s Husband: *takes the bag and puts it behind the register* “Ma’am, I saw you take this from [My Name]’s hand. She had it first, so she gets to buy it.”

Woman: *huffs loudly then screeches* “She probably doesn’t even know what to do with it! I want it, so sell it to me!”

(At this point, everyone else at the sale is staring at her like she’s grown another head and [Friend] walks over to see what’s going on.)

Friend: *sweetly* “Yes, ma’am. What seems to be the problem here?”

Woman: *points at me* “This girl wants the bag of embroidery thread, but I had it first, and I want it for 25 cents.”

Friend’s Husband: *shakes head* “Nah, honey. [My Name] had it, and this old bat took it from her hand before she could get up here.”

Friend: *nods* “I see.” *smiles brightly* “In that case, [My Name] can have it for free, since we’ve wasted her time arguing with this woman.” *makes a shooing motion at the woman* “Leave. Now.”

(The woman sputters a bit then tries to argue, but [Friend’s Husband] interrupts her.)

Friend’s Husband: “Get off of my property right now, or I’m calling the police to get your dumb a** off it.”

(The woman throws down the other items she’s been holding, then stomps off to her car and speeds off.)

Me: *blinks* “Okay… erm… Well, I’d like to pay for my stuff here, and that embroidery floss, please. I think I’ve got like $5 worth of stuff.”

Friend’s Husband: “Nah, honey-child, we’re giving you the bag of thread, and a discount besides, because that woman was awful. Your total is $2.”

Friend: *mutters something* “And that’s why I hate when tourists stop at my sales.”

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The Archives Should Tell You That This Never Works

, , , | Working | June 4, 2018

(I work in a call centre for a company that arranges hire vehicles for people who have been in no-fault accidents. As such, we handle sensitive information. We work with a specific hire company. Recently, we have enjoyed getting calls from people claiming to be from the hire company’s “archive team,” which doesn’t exist. They are clearly trying to obtain information. One day this happens:)

Me: “Good morning. You’re through to [My Name] at [Company]; how can I help?”

Person: “Good morning. I’m calling on behalf of a mutual client.”

Me: “Can I take the client’s registration?”

Person: *registration*

Me: “Thank you. Can I also take your name and where you’re calling from?”

Person: “[Person] from [Hire Company] archive team.”

Me: *immediately on guard* “Hello. Unfortunately, you’re not listed on the file so I can’t discuss the claim with you, but I see my colleague asked you to email us… five minutes ago, actually. Did you do that?”

(She hangs up. I write my notes into the file and send an email to my team advising they’re at it again. Next call I receive…)

Me: “Good morning. You’re through to [My Name] at [Company]; how can I help?”

Person: “Good morning. I’m calling on behalf of a mutual client.”

Me: *recognising their voice* “Can I take the registration, please?”

Person: “Yes, it’s [same info as before].”

Me: “Oh, hi. I think it was me you were speaking to just a few moments ago; is that [Person]?”

(She hung up. Honestly, how stupid do you have to be to try it a third time, minutes later, even when it’s obvious we’re onto you?)

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You’re A Dog, You Like Socks, And Paying Off Your Student Loans

, , , , | Legal | June 3, 2018

(I am sitting at home, enjoying my day off when an out of state area code phone number calls my home phone. Upon answering, I am greeted with an automated greeting letting me know that this is “Amanda” and that my student loans are in danger of going into default even though they have been cleared for years now. Knowing it’s a scam, I pull up my music library on my cell phone and pick a song to play by the comedy metal band “Psychostick.” I press the number for a “representative” and wait for them to answer.)

Telescammer: *in obvious non-English accent* “Hello, this is [Bogus Student Loan Office]; my name is Mary. May I have your—”

Psychostick: “I’m a dog and I like socks! I like socks! I’m a dog! I’m a dog and I like socks! I like socks! I’m a dog! GIMME THAT SOCK! OM NOM NOM! GIMME THAT—”

Telescammer: *click*

(Haven’t heard from them since.)

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Let’s The Fraudsters Hit The Floor

, , , | Legal | June 2, 2018

(Years ago, I was working in my hometown’s dollar store. One night it suddenly starts pouring outside. I am very concerned about having slippery floors, so I grab the wet floor signs and set them on either side of my register where people first walk in. A couple of customers have come in, so I use the dry mop to soak up the water. It isn’t two minutes later when a customer walks in and falls while I have my back turned. I run over to him.)

Me: “Sir, are you okay?”

Man: “…”

Me: “Do you need help up? Would you like a chair to sit in?”

Man: “…no.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

(I watch as he limps away, looking at a spot on his shin. The man later comes up to my counter with his purchases.)

Man: “Since I fell, I should have my stuff for free.”

Me: *thinking he is joking* “Haha, yeah…”

Man: *mumbles* “I’m probably going to have to talk to my lawyer.”

(Confused, I finish taking care of him and he leaves. I go to talk with my supervisor about everything. She later receives a phone call. I hear her laughing across the store after it’s finished. The supervisor brings me into the office.)

Supervisor: “You are never going to believe the phone call I just got. The man who was in here earlier was yelling about how he was pissed that you didn’t offer to pay for his items. He then said he was going to sue the store because he fell. I have looked at the camera and you can clearly see the Caution: Wet Floor signs two feet in front of him, and you just dry-mopped the floor right before he came in!”

Me: *laughing, too* “He thought because he fell I needed to pay for his items? That’s not exactly how that works.”

Boss: “Yeah, but get this: you can clearly see him standing in the door waiting for you to walk away before coming in. He was also limping on the other foot before he fell! Looks like he just wanted someone to pay for a previous injury. Good thing you were on top of everything!”

(I had to write a statement about the events of that night. Luckily it never went anywhere so there was no court case. The store manager thanked me for my diligence about the floors that night!)

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