How Dare Thermodynamics Happen!

, , , | Right | October 11, 2018

(I work as a barista in a popular coffee shop with multiple locations in the city. During a quiet time of day, a woman peers at the menu for a moment and then approaches the counter.)

Me: “Hi there! What I can I get started for you today?”

Customer: *just stares at me*

Me: “Would you like a minute to decide?”

Customer: “Oh! You’re not the girl who served me last night!”

Me: “Well, if it was after a certain time, then no, as my shift was done in the afternoon.”

(I am thinking that even if I did serve her yesterday, am I supposed to be telepathic and automatically know what she wants today?)

Customer: “Well, the barista in last night didn’t know what she was doing and made my drink taste awful! I’d like to make a complaint about her!”

Me: “Okay, I can be sure to let someone know.” *grabbing the schedule from the night before next to the register* “Can you describe her to me, please?”

Customer: “Well, she’s a blonde girl. She looks like you, but blonder.”

(I’m a black-haired girl, nowhere near blonde, and actually we have no blonde females working at our location.)

Me: “Um, well, according to our schedule, we actually had a team of males in last night. No ladies. Are you sure you weren’t at [Other Location Nearby], instead?”

Customer: “No, it was here. I remember.”

Me: “Well, all I can say is that we have a guarantee that if you take a sip and you don’t like your drink, bring it to the counter and we’ll either remake it for you or make you something different. At this point, I can let our manager know you were not happy with the drink, and we’ll let our baristas know that they should be more diligent with the recipes. Does that sound fine to you?”

Customer: “Yes, that sounds good. Now, can I get [four of our biggest, most expensive drinks]?”

Me: “Sure!” *rings her up*

Customer: “Wait, you’re charging me for my drinks? They should be free! My coffee last night was awful and it was your fault!”

Me: *inwardly sighing* “I’m sorry, but if you didn’t make a complaint at the time you received the coffee, then how are we to know you were dissatisfied with your drink? We can’t refund you or remake a drink you consumed almost twenty-four hours ago.”

Customer: “But it was too hot to drink right away, so I drove home with it! By the time I got home, the store was closed and I couldn’t call to make a complaint!”

Me: “Fair enough. Do you have a receipt for your drink, or perhaps the empty cup? Something to show proof of purchase?”

Customer: “No, I didn’t get a receipt, and the coffee was ice cold when I got in so I just chucked the entire thing in the garbage.”

Me: *flabbergasted* “Ma’am, maybe the coffee was bad because you allowed it to get cold before drinking it? Either way, I’m afraid your coffee today cannot be on the house as we have no proof you actually bought anything from us in the first place, and if you did, we could only comp the same drink order, not all four. Now, if you would like your drinks, it will cost you [full amount]!”

Customer: “You’re just trying to screw me over! I’m never coming back here!” *stomps off*

Me: “We can only hope…”

1 Thumbs

If You Bluff Online, They Can Still See Your Tells

, , , | Right | October 11, 2018

(I work in a very small restaurant, and as such we don’t take reservations because we don’t have enough tables to hold any without our wait being ridiculously high. We don’t have a website, though, and it’s my job to answer the phone, so I field a lot of reservation questions.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like to make a reservation.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t take reservations.”

Customer: “Well, I’m looking at a website that says you do!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have a website. If you’d give me the name of it, I’ll let my manager know so it can be taken down, as it wasn’t created by us.”

Customer: “Uh…”

(Yeah, that’s what I thought.)

1 Thumbs

Ensuring That Insuring Is The Law

, , , , | Legal | October 10, 2018

(I work in a call center for a large insurance company. Two things are important to know: first, just because I am not in an office talking face to face, it does not mean that I know less than other agents; I had to pass the same test and get the same licence they did. Second, for those who don’t know, Maryland has some of the stricter insurance laws in the country. They fine you per day you don’t have insurance on a car that is registered, coming to about $2,500 per year per car, with no maximum. They also usually aren’t willing to allow you to even start paying on the fine until you have insurance again.)

Customer: “I just got back from MVA [Maryland DMV] and was trying to renew the registration on my car, and they told me that I have a fine to pay because of you guys.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Let me see if I can find your policy and get this sorted out for you. Do you have your policy number or phone number?”

(The customer gives me his phone number and I try to find a policy for him. Eventually I do, but I find a problem right away.)

Me: “Sir, is it possible that you have the policy under a different phone number?”

Customer: “No. That is the only phone number I have ever had.”

Me: “Okay, well, I found a policy that you had with us, but it cancelled two years ago.”

Customer: “Is that why you are fining me?”

Me: “No, sir. We are not fining you. The state of Maryland is probably fining you for having a vehicle registered and not having insurance on it.”

Customer: “How the h*** would they know?”

Me: “All insurance companies that operate in the state of Maryland are required to report when policies start and end on vehicles.”

Customer: “So, you told them to fine me. You guys are going to pay this fine, then. Why was my policy cancelled in the first place?”

Me: “The policy cancelled due to non-payment. And we don’t tell the state to fine you; we can only report your insurance status with us. For all we knew, you reinsured elsewhere.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t. So, you guys are going to pay off my fine and tell MVA that I have insurance so that I can drive again.”

Me: “We won’t pay the fine for you — it is your responsibility to keep insurance on your car — but I can try to get you reinsured with us.”

Customer: “NO! I don’t need your g**d*** insurance. I let that policy cancel because I realised how much I’ve paid in insurance over the years and never had an accident. I don’t want to be a part of your scam anymore. Just tell the state I have insurance so that I can drive again. And pay my fine; it’s your fault, anyway.”

Me: “You want us to pay $5,000 for you and lie to the state for you so that you can go back to breaking the law?”

Customer: “I’m not paying for your scam anymore! You do what I say!”

Me: “We are not doing that. Have a nice day.”

1 Thumbs

Finding Fraudulent Uses For Their 3-Iron

, , , , | Legal | October 9, 2018

(Our town is hit by a tornado, along with two other towns. This incident takes place the day after. My husband and I are walking through the streets with a chainsaw helping to cut and move fallen trees where needed, to clear roads for emergency crews and traffic, and to clear driveways so people who still have undamaged cars can get them out. It’s been a long, slow process and we’ve been at it for several hours, starting about eight am. We stop so we can grab some water from our backpacks, and we witness two people up the block hitting the side of their car with a golf club. There does not appear to be any other damage on the car apart from what they are doing.)

Husband: *sounding confused* “What is she doing?”

Me: “Probably going to try to scam her insurance for a new car.”

Husband: “Think she has actually looked at some of the other storm damaged cars?”

Me: “Probably not, or she wouldn’t be hitting the side of the car that is currently facing her perfectly undamaged house. Sadly, even though the damage is going to obviously look like it’s intentional, by the time her claims adjuster gets to her, they are probably just going to give in and not argue with her so they can get things done and move on to others.”

(The people looked around at this time and saw us standing there watching them. They immediately put the golf club in the garage and went back in the house. While there were thankfully no fatalities and only minor injuries from the storm, these frauds made me sick. I thought about the people displaced until they could get their houses tested for soundness so they could start repairs, and the handful of people who lost their houses entirely, along with the people with totaled cars. We do have relief efforts out here, along with every conceivable insurance company, but it’s going to be a long road, and we have just barely begun. I hope those people got what they deserve.)

1 Thumbs

This Is The Scam That Doesn’t End

, , , , , | Working | October 9, 2018

Scam Caller: *recording* “This is the final notice about your credit card. Please press one to be connected to an agent to resolve this issue.”

Me: *presses one*

Scam Caller: “Hello. How are you today?”

Me: “I’m fine. Could you please hold?”

Scam Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Thank you!”

(I cued up a ten-hour YouTube video of Lamb Chop’s “This is the song that doesn’t end,” and took the dogs for a walk. Yes, I keep a hot-link to this video now, for this exact purpose. But I’m a little surprised; usually they hang up after the first few seconds, but this scammer lasted a couple of minutes at least. And the dogs had a nice little walk.)


1 Thumbs