Lost That Game Before It Even Started

, , , , | Right | September 28, 2017

(The return policy at the game store where I work is clearly printed on the receipts, but many people don’t bother to read them. A sketchy-looking customer approaches me.)

Customer: *tosses bag down on the counter* “I’d like to return this, man.”

Me: “Not a problem! Just give me one second to process that for you.” *runs through the procedure quickly* “Okay, I’ll just need to swipe the card that you used to purchase [Game].”

Customer: “Nah, I just need the cash back. Don’t have no card.”

Me: *internally sighing* “Okay, let me just check on something with my manager.” *I go back to explain the situation*

Manager: *shakes head* “If he doesn’t have the card he used to purchase, have him use a different one.”

Me: “Sorry, sir. We need a card of some sort in order to process this return.”

Customer: “I already told you that I don’t have a card. I just need the cash! I saw this sitting on a bench. Some dude left it and I figured I’d get money for it.”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “Just give it back. Never mind…”

(He takes the product and starts walking out of the store. On his way, he bumps into another guy hurrying through the door.)

Customer: “Hey, I recognize you. This is your stuff. I suppose you can have it back.”

Other Guy: “Thank you!” *happily walks out with his stuff*

(I explained the situation to the manager once I’d recovered. He shook his head, muttered about potential fraud, and looked through the security footage. That’s one man who won’t be welcome back in our store!)

They Lost The Name Game

, , , | Working | September 28, 2017

(I get an automated scam call. I stay on the line because they sometimes offer a don’t-call-back option that, in my experience, USUALLY stops the calls from any particular series of scammers. They have the option, so I press it and the call automatically ends. The phone almost immediately rings again, coming from a blocked number.)

Me: “Hello?”

(A live rep immediately goes into the same spiel as the automated one.)

Me: *interrupting* “Sorry, who are you calling for?”

(He starts the spiel again from the beginning.)

Me: “No, no. Who are you calling for?”

Scammer: “We’re calling about your credit card—”

Me: “My credit card? Okay. Who am I, then?”

Scammer: *hesitating* “You qualify for a lower interest—”

Me: “If you know what I qualify for, you know my name. Who are you calling for?”

Scammer: “We’re calling about a credit card—”

Me: “NAME.”

Scammer: *stammering* “We’re offering a lower interest rate on a credit card—”

Me:Name! Give me a name. I know what you’re calling about; I want to know who you’re calling for. Give me a name! No offers, no numbers; name. Just a name!

Scammer: *slams phone*

Me: *cackle*

Has Your Back In The Backpack Attack

, , , , | Right | September 28, 2017

(I am standing behind the concessions counter with my coworker. I haven’t had a register all day, and have instead been put in charge of “running” to get the popcorn, food, drinks, etc. The day has been slow, so my coworker and I are chatting as we refill the candy drawer. A woman approaches the counter with her ten kids and a large backpack.)

Coworker: *nervous* “Excuse me, ma’am, but you can’t have that in here.”

Customer: “I can’t have what in here?”

Coworker: “The backpack. We have a policy against it, and we can’t allow you to take it into the theater.”

Customer: *visibly infuriated* “What do you mean I can’t have my backpack? What kind of stupid f****** rule is that?”

(The manager on duty hears the customer getting upset and comes over to the two of us. He’s a tall man with a stern face, and my coworker relaxes when he comes to our aid, sure that the woman will take his word for it.)

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

Me: “No problem. We were just informing the customer of our no-backpack policy.”

Manager: “Yeah, you can’t bring those in here.”

Customer: “Why the f*** not?”

Manager: *calmly* “It’s company policy. We can’t take the risk of you bringing recording equipment or firearms into the theater. Did you drive here?”

Customer: “Yes, I drove here. What does that have to do with anything?”

Manager: “I’m going to have to ask you to take the bag back out to your car, then, ma’am.”

Customer: “Then who’s responsible for my stuff?”

Manager: *shoots my coworker and me a questioning glance before responding* “You are.”

(The customer became even more enraged, and snapped at her children to follow her to the car and stormed out, swearing up a storm. My manager looked at us and started laughing, excusing himself to the back room in case anyone noticed. The lady stayed outside for ten minutes and then came back in. All of her kids’ pockets were bulging with candy, and they were waddling uncomfortably past the counter, trying not to be noticed with their outside food. Yes, she really spent ten minutes arguing with us over our policy because she wanted to carry in her dollar store candy.)

Making A Meal Out Of Having No Money

, , , , | Right | September 27, 2017

(I am a nurse. At my hospital, we can order guest meal trays for patients’ family members, but only under very special circumstances, and with manager approval.)

Family Member: “Excuse me. I was wondering if I could get a dinner tray tonight.”

Me: “We only do that in very special circumstances, when family members are providing extensive care for the patient. I’ll check with my manager, though, and get back with you.”

(I explain the situation to my manager, and we decide that this is not a situation that warrants a guest tray. I return to the patient’s room.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we won’t be able to provide you with dinner tonight. You are more than welcome to visit the cafeteria downstairs.”

Family Member: “I guess I just won’t eat dinner, then.”

Me: “Of course we want you to eat.”

Family Member: *very rudely* “I don’t have any money to buy dinner, so I just won’t eat.”

(Not wanting her to miss dinner, I made several phone calls and was able to obtain meal vouchers to the hospital cafeteria. She didn’t say much when I gave them to her. As I was leaving my shift at the end of the night, I saw a pizza deliver guy walking into the room. No money for food, my a**!)

Charity Begins At (Selling Things From) Home

, , , , , | Working | September 27, 2017

(My friend run a small business and, on occasion, they have special events that include renting out market stalls. They take bookings ahead of time, but on this occasion, one of their regulars hasn’t arrived so there is an empty table. The rent they receive goes to a charity. I am helping them out in their main shop when one of their staff members comes over.)

Staff: “Hey, [Owner], I thought the table next to my shop was for [Regular Stall Holder]?”

Owner: “It is; she’s not arrived yet.”

Staff: “Well, some woman has just sat down at it and started putting out items, and has been asking people to buy them.”

Owner: “I’ll come over and take a look; maybe [Regular] asked her to start setting up.”

Staff: “There’s nothing there that she would normally sell.”

(A few minutes later the owner comes back, he is fuming.)

Owner: “What is wrong with people? This woman saw an empty table and decided to set her own stall up. I asked her what she was doing, and she told me she wanted to sell her things. I told her that she needed to pay rent for the stall. She refused to do that because ‘it’s a charity event and the tables should be free.’ So, I asked how much of her takings she would be donating, and she told me that she isn’t going to donate anything because she is selling her own things.”

(Stall holders were also donating a percentage of their sales towards the charity. They ended up kicking her out and sitting one of their volunteers at the table with their own stock.)

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