How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 30

, , , | Working | February 2, 2018

(Over the last few months, I’ve been getting several missed calls from the area code of my hometown. Generally, I don’t answer my phone if it’s not a number I know, and they’ve been calling when I’m working and can’t pick up, anyway. They never leave a message, so I don’t worry about it. I am at home and receive a call from that same area code. Against my better judgement, I answer it to make sure it isn’t someone from my hometown.)

Scam Caller: “Hi, is [Grandmother] available?”

(My cell number has never been associated with her, so, of course, I’m suspicious.)

Me: “You have the wrong number.”

Scam Caller: “Oh! Well, maybe you can help me. I’m calling from the Veterans Affairs Office and…” *tries to tell me he’s with the “division that handles donations for veterans’ mental health care”*

(Now, I’m angry because: 1) My brother is a vet and works for the VA hospital, so I know for a fact they don’t cold call people — in this state at least — for donations, 2) How dare they steal money that would otherwise benefit veterans?)

Me: “What was the last name of the person you were looking for?”

Scam Caller: “Uh… I don’t know, but maybe you can help me.”

Me: “No, I can’t. And how did you get this number?”

Scam Caller: “I… uh…” *click*

(I immediately let my brother know what happened, and he gave me the number for the state VA office to report it. They were very interested to learn that someone was trying to impersonate a representative of their office.)

Related:
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 29
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 28
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 27

The Lack Of Instruction Will Be Your Destruction

, , , , , | Working | February 2, 2018

(I get into work early one morning on my opening shift. I see a pile of stock on the counter, a note from my manager to me saying that a coworker wanted to buy these, and instructions on how I should ring them up and the discount I am to use. I leave the items at the counter with the note. When coworker finishes her shift, she comes down to buy the items.)

Coworker: “These are part of some damaged stock. [Manager] said I could get 50% off. Can you ring me up?”

Me: “Wait a minute. Wasn’t there note with them? Where is it?”

Coworker: “Oh, it just had my name on it. I threw it out.”

Me: “There were some specific instructions on it that I had to follow.”

Coworker: “No. I don’t think there were. It was only my name.”

(I check the bin and can’t find it amongst the other papers in there. I also look in a bin that is hidden at the back of other items. We only ever use this one to replace the other when it’s full because it’s so far out of the way. I find the note in it, all smashed up. I ring up the sale with the discount that the manager had written, a lot less than 50%. I see the manager the next day.)

Manager: “So, did [Coworker] buy items yesterday?”

Me: “Yes, lucky I saw that note you wrote when I got in.” *I explain everything*

Manager: “I knew she was up to something. She tried asking me for 50%; I told her I couldn’t do it but was able to offer her 30%. She told me she would buy it the next day. I wanted to see what she did, and this was also a test to see what you would do.”

(It’s not the first time that this coworker did something like this, but she never got into major trouble because she claimed mental illness. On the other hand, a manager, who has sworn to me before and since that she does not set “tests” for her staff, would have happily given me a warning.)

An Assault On Decency

, , , , , | Romantic | February 1, 2018

(I work on the registers of a fast food restaurant. It isn’t too busy and an elderly gentleman approaches the counter. I am cleaning the ice cream machine, so I assume my coworker will tend to him.)

Gentleman: “Excuse me, miss. Could you tell me what’s on that menu?”

(I hear a sigh and nothing else.)

Gentleman: “Umm, miss?”

(I turn around and see my coworker is on her phone. It looks like she is deliberately ignoring him, which I find very disrespectful. I decide to tend to him, instead. I read out most of the menu and he selects two meals. My coworker has been giving me horrible side-eye the entire time, while still on her phone. As his food is being prepared, an elderly woman comes out of the toilets with a walker for support. She comes to the counter, and she and the gentleman kiss and make small talk, mainly about how he left his glasses in the car. They take their food and leave.)

Me: “[Coworker], using your phone at work isn’t allowed, and why were you so rude to that man?”

Coworker: *huffs* “Wasn’t it obvious? He was trying to flirt with me!”

Me: “Umm, he must have been in his 80s. Plus, his wife was with him.”

Coworker: “How do you know?! They could have been brother and sister.”

Me: “I don’t think siblings kiss like that, at least not in public.”

(She sighed again and went to speak to the manager. I was later called to the office, where the manager said my coworker claimed I tried to downplay a man viciously trying to sexually assault her, and then shame her into feeling guilty for it. He played the footage of the entire event back to he, with audio, and then laughed her out of the building. She didn’t turn up for work the week after, so she was promptly fired. It doesn’t stop there, though. We got an audit from Human Resources about a claim of sexual harassment on the date the couple were in. My manager showed them the footage and took a couple of statements. They were only here about ten minutes. We get longer inspections if someone forgets to wear a plaster after cutting themselves.)

Taking Stock Of Your Actions

, , , , , , , | Working | January 31, 2018

(A customer has just called to check the quantity on a product. The register says we have one, so I go to double-check. There is a customer standing right by where they should be.)

Customer: “Hey, do you have [odd piece] mechanic’s tool set?”

(It is the same set the person on the phone wants.)

Me: “We should… Ah, yes, right here.”

Customer: “Thank you so much! I was looking everywhere for this! I have to find one more thing. Where can I pay?”

Me: “Up front at the register. I’ll hold this for you up there while you shop around.”

Customer: “Thank you so much!”

(I return to the phone.)

Me: *to customer on phone* “Hello, sir? I’m sorry, but we don’t have anymore in stock.”

Customer: “That’s really weird. Your website says you have one.”

Me: “I’m sure it’s just an inventory miscalculation. If you hit refresh a couple of times, it usually gives the correct quantity. The website’s weird.”

Customer: “Okay, I guess. Thanks.”

Me: “Have a nice day!”

(I hang up as customer wanting the tool set in store comes up to the register.)

Customer: “Found it. Thanks for holding this for me.”

Me: “No problem. That’ll be [total].”

(I ring up the customer and they walk happily out with both of their items.)

Coworker: “Wait a minute. Didn’t the guy on the phone want that tool set?”

Me: “Yep.”

Coworker: “Did you just…?”

Me: “Nooo… No. No… Yes.”

A Virus On Your Marriage

, , , , , , | Right | January 31, 2018

(I work for a large electronics store that also does tech support. An older gentleman comes up to the support counter with a new high-end laptop.)

Me: “Thanks for coming in to [Company]. I’m [My Name]. How can I help you out today?”

Customer: “I bought this laptop here last week and there’s something wrong with it.”

Me: “Okay, let’s just take a look here.”

(I power on the laptop and find that it is clearly infected with a virus that keeps pulling up pornographic content.)

Me: “Looks like you have a pretty nasty virus infection going on. We can get that cleared up for [price].”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! It came like that!”

Me: “Sir, I guarantee you that it did not.”

Customer: “Yes, it did, but it doesn’t matter. I bought the warranty, so you have to fix it for free, anyway.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the warranty does not cover viruses. It only covers if it physically breaks, like if the screen cracks, or something.”

(The customer then picks up the laptop and spikes it to the ground like a football.)

Customer: “There. Now it’s physically broken. Take the d*** thing!”

Me: “The warranty also does not cover intentional damage.”

Customer: *as he is being escorted out by security* “You ruined my marriage! I’m going to get divorced because of you!”