(A woman had been coming in every day and paying for venti drinks with all the trimmings using service recovery coupons. This went on for about a year and a half, and finally, we were told to stop taking them from her. They were old, we had never given any to her, and she could not have acquired so many of them legitimately.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t take any of these coupons, they’re outdated.”

Coupon Lady: “…but I use these all the time. They always take them!”

Me: “They’re outdated. There are new ones now, and we’re not allowed to take the old ones anymore.”

Coupon Lady: *pays for her drinks, leaves*

(The next day Coupon Lady returns with her husband and tries the same thing.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I told you yesterday, we will not accept any more coupons from you.”

Husband: “I want to speak to your manager.”

(I go and get a manager; the husband commences shouting at manager.)

Manager: “You’ve been using these coupons almost daily since this location opened. We are not going to accept them anymore.”

Husband: “We know the man in charge! WE GOT THESE FROM THE HEAD GUY!”

Manager: “Sir, if you’d actually gotten these coupons from the man in charge, you would know that the man in charge here is a WOMAN.”

This story is part of the Confused-By-Coupons roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Times Retail Workers Got Short-Changed By Their Bad Customers

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Read the Confused-By-Coupons roundup!

(It’s about closing time, and I’m doing the final stock of the tobacco stuff, while a police officer, there because of problems with theft of in-store merchandise, writes out his nightly report. In walks a very short person, obviously under 19, whiter than Casper, and dressed like a pimp.)

Short Pimp: “Packa Players!”

Me: “ID?”

SP: “What?”

Me: “I need to see your ID, or you can’t have ’em.”

SP: “You don’t need my ID! I’m 21!” *starts cussing*

Me: “Yes, but we have to ask if you look under 40, so hand it over.”

SP: “Well, you’re giving me the smokes anyway, and for free now because of the way you’re treating me.”

Me: “Uh-huh, and I’m Bill Gates.”

SP: “Fine! Here’s my f****** ID!” *hands over an obviously fake ID*

Me: “Okay, do you have a real ID?”

SP: “That is real, a**hole!”

Me: “Dude, no it isn’t. If you’re gonna use a fake ID, get someone who can at least spell Ontario.”

SP: “FINE! I’ll just shoot you and take what I want!

(Short Pimp sticks his hand in his pocket and pretends that there’s a gun in there.)

Me: “Right, because a cop totally isn’t standing right behind you with his very real gun at the back of your head.”

(Officer Cool Guy has gotten up and pulled his “very real gun” [read: just his nightstick, but held like a gun] on Short Pimp, but SP doesn’t know that.)

SP: “It’s because I’m black, isn’t it?”

Me: “Next time, try [Competing Gas Station], and don’t come back.”

(Once SP left, Officer Cool Guy and I tried very hard not to burst out laughing.)

(I work every summer in a beach shop in Florida. One morning, a man comes in and buys a beach chair, and returns after a few hours with his family.)

Customer: “I would like to return this chair.”

Me: “Of course. Do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “No, I just went to the beach. Why would I keep the receipt?”

Me: “Is there a reason why you are returning the chair?”

Customer: “It’s broken.”

(The chair is soaked with water, coated with sand, and has a hole in the seat from what looks like a footprint on the cushion.)

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but we cannot accept used, broken items for return.”

Customer: “What?! I didn’t break it!”

Me: “I am sorry sir, but without a receipt, it still cannot be returned.”

Customer: “Son of a b****! You hear that kids? This Russian b**** is going to f*** up our vacation!”

Me: “…Russian? I live here.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me! I hear that accent.”

Me: “…What accent?”

Customer: “THERE! You just did it. No one talks like that in the Northeast.”

Me: “…I’m a Southerner. You’re in the South.”

Customer: “Whatever, you piece of racist s***”

(The man left only after he threw the chair at a clothes rack. Quite the job experience for a fifteen-year-old.)

(This is why it’s good to check inside the box when someone returns something.)

Me: “Okay, sir, what’s wrong with the XBox 360?”

Customer: “Oh, it just doesn’t work.”

Me: “Okay.”

(Policy indicates that I have to open it up. I look inside and there is a Sega Saturn with a couple of old stereo parts.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, this isn’t what supposed to be inside here.”

Customer: *fumbling for words* “Oh… oh… uh… that isn’t it. I have the real one at home. I’ll just get it…”

(The customer picked up the box and walked away, never to be seen again. All the while, I sat back laughing.)

This story is part of the Lying-Customers-Getting-Caught roundup!

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Read the Lying-Customers-Getting-Caught roundup!

Me: “Thank you for calling Guest Relations; this is [My Name]. How can I assist you today?”

Guest: “I need to cancel my reservation I had a death in the family, and I won’t be able to make it.”

Me: “I’m certainly sorry to hear about that. I can contact the hotel for you and see if they would be willing to cancel the reservation without penalty. Can you give me the confirmation number?”

(Just then, his wife is in the background yelling at him, trying to take the phone away. She is calling him a liar and telling him that he is going to h*** if he does not tell me the truth. Then, she gets on the phone and says…)

Guest’s Wife: “I’m really sorry, but my husband is a liar and there was no death in the family. He made a mistake and booked the wrong hotel, and he doesn’t have the balls to admit it.”

Me: “Oh! Well, then, yeah…”

Guest’s Wife: “I have told him not to do it, but he did.”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but our policies and procedure for this rate are very strict. I would not be able to cancel the reservation for you without a penalty.”

Guest’s Wife: “SO YOU’RE A LIAR, TOO! You told my husband you would see if you can cancel without a penalty and now you can’t! BULLS***!”

Me: “Ma’am, I have to ask you to watch your language. We can contact the hotels if it’s an emergency. But we can never guarantee that it will be cancelled without a penalty for you. I advised that I would ask for you–”

Guest’s Wife: “FINE, THEN! IF IT HAS TO BE THAT WAY THEN I DIED; JUST TELL THEM THAT. I’M SURE THEY WOULD CANCEL THAT, THEN. RIGHT?!”

Me: “But ma’am you can’t be dead; I am talking to you. I’m sorry. I can’t cancel the reservation for you. If I do, you will be charged.”

Guest’s Wife: “YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON! YOU DON’T CARE IF WE DIED! I DEMAND A REFUND OF THIS. NOW.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I’m not able to assist at this time, so you guys have a great day.”

Guest’s Wife: “FINE, THEN! THIS WAS POINTLESS. Thanks for nothing, you heartless b****.”

Me: “You have a great day!”

(This person was the laughing stock of the day. She had the nerve to call back four times and try to convince someone to cancel the reservation for her with the same sob story again. Some people…)

This story is part of the Hypocritical Customers roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

10 Customers Who Lied About Their Health To Get Ahead

Read the next Hypocritical Customers roundup story!

Read the Hypocritical Customers roundup!