The Crab-Cake Is A Lie

, , , | Right | November 21, 2017

(I work as a seafood clerk at a grocery store. One day we are having a special on crab cakes so we are particularly busy. After helping more than ten people in a row, there are two customers left: an elderly woman, and a man in his mid-30s with his daughter who is no older than six. Due to the rush, I am not sure who is next.)

Me: “I can help whoever was next.”

(The woman glances over at the man, who is texting and paying no attention to me. She shrugs and approaches the counter.)

Customer #1: “Yes, I’ll have two crab cakes and one pound of popcorn shrimp, please.”

Me: “Coming right up.”

(As soon as I begin wrapping up her order, the man looks up from his cell phone.)

Customer #2: “Hey! Woah! Excuse me! I was next!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I’ll be with you as soon as I finish this order.”

Customer #2: “No, no, no! I was here first! Stop what you’re doing and take my order!”

Me: “Sir, I asked who was next and you didn’t respond. This will only take…”

Customer #2: *picks up his cart and slams it on the ground* “THIS IS BULLS***! I’ve been waiting here for twenty f****** minutes! I’m going to the front and speaking to management!”

(He grabs his daughter by the wrist and walks toward the front of the store.)

Customer #1: “Oh, my goodness.. He really shouldn’t be talking like that in front of his daughter.”

Me: “No, he shouldn’t be.”

(After about ten minutes, he returns.)

Customer #2: “I just spoke to your boss. He said you have to give me four free crab cakes due to your poor customer service.”

Me: *skeptical* “Okay… let me call the front and confirm.”

Customer #2: “What? Why? I just talked to him!”

Me: “Sir, I have to get permission from my supervisor before I can give out free items.”

Customer #2: “YOU’RE UN-F****ING-BELIEVABLE! You have to be the worst—”

(I tune out his screaming and call the front desk phone.)

Boss: “[Boss] speaking.”

Me: “Hello, sir, there’s a gentleman here that says you told him he could have free crab cakes; is that correct?”

Boss: “What? H*** no! I just got back from my lunch break.”

(I turned around and the man was nowhere to be seen.)

Your Attempt At Free Food In Freefall

, , , , , , | Right | November 18, 2017

(I’m working as a pizza delivery driver on a particularly busy night. I’m driving my mom’s minivan for work. On this run, I have to take three deliveries due to the volume of orders. I arrive at my third destination beyond the estimated time.)

Disgruntled Customer: “Well, this pizza’s pretty late. Don’t you think I should get it for free now?”

Me: “I’m not su—”

Disgruntled Customer: *in a voice a five-year-old would use to mock someone* “Ehehehe, I’m not sure.”

Me: “Well, sir, I’m not authorized to give out the food for free, so if you’d like to discuss it, I will need you to sign the receipt, and then you can talk with the general manager on the matter.”

Disgruntled Customer: “Yeah, I’ll do that. What took you so long, anyway?”

Me: “We are busy right now, so I had to take three deliveries at once, and yours just happened to be the last in the lineup.”

Disgruntled Customer: “I would think a delivery boy could come up with a better excuse than that. I’m giving you a tip, but I don’t know why, anyway.” *shoves the receipt in my face*

Me: “Thank you, sir. I do appreciate it.”

Disgruntled Customer: *slams door*

(I return to the restaurant and inform my GM that the man was upset and will be calling in to discuss getting a free meal, when my shift leader chimes in.)

Shift Leader: “Was it the guy from [address]?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s him.”

Shift Leader: “That guy’s always trying to get free food from us. He wanted his wings for free because we didn’t give him exactly even wings and drumsticks with his chicken.”

(Apparently, the guy would come up with excuses anytime he ordered to try and get his food for free. Since that instance though, I haven’t heard from him.)

Bigotry Doesn’t Have A Nice Ring To It

, , , , , , , | Working | November 16, 2017

(We are a gay couple. My husband gave me a ring for my birthday. It apparently cost a lot, but after only a day of wearing it I notice my skin going green, a classic sign that the metal is cheap. My husband can’t explain it, but gives me the receipt to exchange it. I am seen by the store owner.)

Me: “Yes, I’d like to return this ring. My husband was told it was pure metal, but my finger tells me otherwise.”

(The owner takes the receipt and inspects the ring. I can tell there’s something wrong by his expression.)

Owner: “This ring doesn’t match the description. Are you sure he got it from here?”

Me: “I’m 100% certain. Your store name is embossed on the rim.”

Owner: “Yes, I can see. Give me a moment, please.”

(He disappears for about quarter of an hour and returns with a ledger.)

Owner: “Yes, your husband’s name is here with the same description on the receipt. I’ve checked the footage for the time and he was indeed sold this ring. However, this ring is worth a significant fraction of the price.”

Me: “What can you do, then?”

Owner: “Give me another moment, please. I want to be certain this is straightened out. [Worker] is in today; she served your husband.”

(The owner calls her over.)

Owner: “[Worker], did you sell this ring in exchange of [expensive ring] to a gentleman two weeks ago?”

Worker: “I don’t know. I’ve never see him before though.” *nods to me*

Me: “He has shoulder length black hair and a nose ring.”

Worker: “Oh, the [homophobic slur]. Yes, I did.”

(Both the owner and I wince at the word.)

Owner: “[Worker]! Why would you do such a thing?”

Worker: “Because marriage is between a man and a woman. Their [slur] marriage is fake and cheap, so that’s all they deserve!”

(I’m actually stunned at how blunt the woman is. The owner addresses me.)

Owner: “I am so sorry for this. My store does not discriminate under any circumstances, and I assure you this matter will be dealt with, with extreme severity.” *to the worker* “Go to my office. We’ll talk later.” *back to me* “The original cost your husband paid was [amount], but given the circumstances, I would like to offer you a choice of anything in store, as compensation.”

Me: “Well… No, thank you. I’ll be more than happy with a ring at equivalent price.”

Owner: “Then, perhaps a paired ring to go with whatever you choose?”

(I picked out two rings and headed home with them. My husband was more than a little shocked with what happened, but we were both happy with the compromise. The woman was fired from the jewellery store, but she now works in a café across town. We don’t go in.)

Wines And Dines On Your Dimes

, , , , , , | Working | November 16, 2017

(My wife and I are having dinner at a restaurant. While we both order at the same time, my wife receives her food while I receive nothing. We continually call our waitress down to find out what is happening, and she insists it is being taken care of. Because I don’t want my wife to wait, I let her finish. After an hour and a half, our waitress comes with our bill.)

Waitress: “I hope you have enjoyed your meal.” *walking away*

Me: “Hold on.” *looking at the bill and seeing my order and a substantial tip* “Where is my order?”

Waitress: “Your order? Well, surely you’ve eaten it.”

Wife: “No, he hasn’t.”

Waitress: “I distinctly remember bringing it out to you. If you could just please pay the bill at the front, thank you.”

Me: “I’m sorry, no. Could I please see the manager?”

(The waitress brings the manager and I explain the situation.)

Manager: “Well, this is the most ridiculous scam I’ve ever heard. Do you seriously expect me to believe it?”

Me: “Does it look like I’ve eaten?” *gesturing to my side of the table, which has been left virtually untouched since it was laid out* “I haven’t even been given my wine!”

Manager: “Well, it certainly does. Please excuse me for a moment.”

(The manager goes into the kitchen and I hear a loud clattering of pans and someone screaming, “WHAT, AGAIN?” The door bursts open, and a large man storms up to me. I’m secretly praying for my life, as I’m expecting to him to send me to Hell, but as he approaches the table he turns and faces our waitress.)

Chef: “All right, what did you do with it?”

Waitress: *blushing* “I don’t know what you mean!”

Chef: “Really?” *sniffs at her mouth* “You stink of merlot.”

(That’s the wine I ordered. Our waitress covers her mouth while the chef walks to the waiting station and starts tearing it apart. He comes back with a plate of a partially-consumed meal.)

Chef: “Sir, could I please ask what you ordered?”

(I show him the receipt.)

Chef: *to the waitress* “I don’t know who you think you are, but this is unacceptable. You’re fired.”


Chef: “Really? Well, let me introduce you to the owner: me. You–” *to another waiter* “–take this gentleman’s order again, and everything is free of charge. I’ll get ‘daddy’ to take her home.”

(Our entire meal was free, and although I didn’t eat in the restaurant, we were given it to go. The restaurant lost two staff that night: the manager and his daughter. We were offered free meals there in the future, but sadly, we moved out of the city a couple of months later and never ate there again. This was the first and last time something like this had ever happened to us.)

“Hold” On For The Prank

, , , , , | Right | November 15, 2017

(I work at a home decoration store. We have a particular brand that is unreasonably popular and people line up at the front door for it. It’s popular because people get it with us cheap and resell it online. We’re not allowed to put it on hold for ANYONE, not even staff; if we do, it could result in termination. A customer is making constant comments about having some of this brand on hold. Fed up, my coworkers decide to prank her back because she always asks everyone and gets the newer kids who aren’t familiar with the rule to just bring her out new stuff. I’m not new, but she hasn’t asked or seen me yet, so she thinks I’m new.)

Me: *stacking shelves*

Customer & Friend: “Oh, my God, miss! Miss! We, um, we have some more [Brand] on hold for us in the back; could you go get it?”

Me: *pretending to look concerned* “Ma’am, we aren’t allowed to put that on hold for anyone anymore.”

Customer: “I want it. Could you maybe go get it for me?”

(My manager walks by at the right time.)

Manager: “Oh, wait, [Brand]?” *turning towards me* “So, you’re the one that’s been going in the backroom and giving it to her! That’s it; you’re fired. Get out!”

(I ran to the break room and looked back only once. I saw the woman frantically trying to explain, but to no avail. Needless to say, no matter how badly she wanted the stuff, she never asked anyone to get her her things “on hold in the back” again.)

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