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He’s Got You Stuck Between Lumber And A Hard Place

, , , , | Right | January 3, 2022

I work as a builders’ merchant and we know most of the customers very well as they are regulars. There is this one guy who regularly comes in who always claims that he has bought something before at a cheaper price. Our company policy is that we match previous prices for account customers, so if they really have had the item before at that price, we have to honour that price.

The thing is, though, this guy will argue until he’s blue in the face that he had that item at that specific price. He will even ask other coworkers to back him up when he says he has had that item at that price before. We always go into the system and the prices are never on there because he has never had it at that price. We sometimes argue with him and basically tell him to get lost, but most of the time, we just let him have it — unless we would make a huge loss on it.

I actually really enjoy my job. This is one customer out of hundreds. Everyone has a good laugh and everyone enjoys their job where I work, so don’t slate my employer for trying to make things less difficult.


, , , , , | Related | January 1, 2022

My wife’s sister is staying with us while she is going through a difficult divorce. It’s been quite a few weeks now, and to be honest, I’m looking forward to getting our home back to ourselves.

She’s been “helping” out around the house as she can’t afford to pay her way with the bills, or so she claims. Her “help” is well-intentioned, but she does things the way she wants to, which is annoying.

For example, she is kind enough to make coffee in the morning, but she always adds milk to it, even though I’ve mentioned several times that I take mine black. She “can’t use” our fabric softener and insists we use hers, and then she acts like she is doing us this massive favour. Generally, everything she does, she has to do her way. Things get tidied up in the wrong places, meals made with ingredients we don’t like, etc.

After months of patience, even my wife is fed up with her. 

Sister-In-Law: “Well, it’s been fun and I know you’ll miss me. But I think I’m going to move out.”

Wife: “Oh, wow. I’m happy for you! Are you going to be staying with a friend?”

Sister-In-Law: “No, silly. I found a flat in [Expensive Area].”

Me: “Oh, wow. You must have been lucky to find anything affordable there.”

Sister-In-Law: “Oh, it’s great. Let me show you the pictures!”

She scrolled through her phone showing us pictures of a very nice flat. We knew she hadn’t had any money yet from the divorce, so she must have been pretending to be broke and keeping the money to herself. The deposit alone would have been thousands.

And her leaving gift to us? The half-empty bottle of fabric softener and her weird ingredients.  

I dropped her and her stuff off at her new flat, to no thanks or anything. But having her out of our hair was probably enough.

A Crap Wedding

, , , | Right | December 31, 2021

I work in a hotel. One weekend, we have a very large wedding that takes up the entire house. The festivities go into the early hours of the next day and most of the guests decline housekeeping services due to hangovers and sleeping in.

The second day, the majority of the guests check out while the bride and groom stay an additional night. I work through the busy and frenzied checkout for the better part of the morning. Toward the end of checkout, the housekeeping manager calls me over the radio to say that I need to come see a guest room so I can charge the guest accordingly.

The guest managed to climb a four-foot tall dresser and poop in the top drawer, and then they decided to close it and act as if nothing had happened. When housekeeping attempted to enter the room, the guest claimed someone else had done that before he checked in. Mind you, the whole floor now smells of feces.

The guest comes down shortly after to try and check out.

Me: “Sir, there was a mess that needed to be cleaned and you will be charged an additional fee.”

Guest: *Playing dumb* “That’s not my room. Housekeeping is cleaning it now.”

I show the guest the picture the manager sent me.

Me: “Sir, could you then please explain the mess?”

He claimed to have not created the mess and blocked his card from being charged.

The next day, I had to tell the bride that, as part of their bill, they would be required to cover their guest’s lodging and cleanup fee. When we told her what the mess was, the bride demanded proof, and after seeing the picture, she promptly paid and left.

What A Bizarre Way To Quit

, , , , | Working | December 31, 2021

Boss: “Do you get along with [Employee]?”

Me: “Err, the guy from marketing? Yeah. I mean, I don’t dislike him, but we don’t see each other or work together.”

Boss: “Hmm… Okay.”

Me: “Is there an issue?”

Boss: “Oh, no. Well, not really. He made a bit of an offhand comment. Nothing to take any further, but maybe make a bit of an effort there.”

Me: “Okay, sure. Again, I don’t really even see the guy, but okay.”

I don’t really know what more to do. I try to say good morning to everyone a bit louder; otherwise, I’m pretty okay with everyone.

Then, my boss calls me into his office.

Boss: “[Employee] had made a complaint against you.”

Me: “What?! What for?”

Boss: “Homophobic remarks.”

Me: “Seriously? I didn’t even know the guy was gay.”

Boss: “Then, apparently, you flipped him off as you drove out the car park last week.”

Me: “I what? I don’t have a car. I take the bus.”

Boss: “So you don’t have…” *reading from the paper* “…a small red car with a nodding dog in the rear window.”

Me: “I don’t have any car, red or otherwise.”

Boss: “Okay, well, I’m glad I didn’t process your suspension paperwork this morning. Maybe go back to work and I will straighten it out.”

It took weeks to get an update. It turned out that [Employee] made everything up, even the bit about being gay! Someone told me that he was already planning on leaving and was trying to get some sort of payout or hush money. They threatened to fire him but he just handed in his notice there and then.

This Feels Super Illegal

, , , , | Healthy | December 31, 2021

This is my great aunt’s story, from before the age of computers. Her regular doctor retired and a new one took his place. On her first visit to him, he diagnosed her with an illness and referred her to a specialist that he knew. He had to hand-write the referral and left the room to do so, returning a short while later with it in a sealed envelope.

Doctor: “Give this only to [Specialist].”

[Great Aunt]’s old doctor always wrote referring letters in front of her, he never sealed the envelopes, and the letters were usually handed to the receptionist.

[Great Aunt] was suspicious, so she steamed the envelope open to read it as soon as she got home. The note basically said that she didn’t have the illness he had diagnosed and also stated why he referred her.

Note: “This old lady is loaded; milk her for all she’s worth.”