Two Scams For The Price Of One

, , , | Right | February 23, 2018

(A customer comes up to my till and drops four items onto the belt. I recognise them as being in a “Buy two, get the third free” offer. Already, I know what he is trying to do.)

Customer: “I’m buying those two and it gets me that one free, and because I’ve got that one and that one, I get the other one free, too, right?”

Me: “No, sir. The offer is that you have to buy two to get the third free.”

Customer: “I am, and because I get that third one, I can add it to one of those and get the last one free, too.”

Me: “No, sir, it has to be two separate groups of three items; we don’t allow you to overlap and use the same item twice.”

Customer: “Why not?! You’re just trying to get more money out of me!”

Me: “Well… Yes, sir. We’re a shop. That’s what we do.”

Someone Is Telling (And Eating) Porkies

, , , , , | Right | February 22, 2018

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need a large pizza with no pork; I’m allergic to pork.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. What toppings would you like?”

Customer: “Pepperoni, bacon, ham, and sausage.”

Me: “You do understand that every thing you ordered is pork, correct?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m just allergic to a lot of pork.”

(Thirty minutes after the customer picks up their pizza, I get a call from the same person.)

Customer: “I asked for no pork on my pizza, and it’s all over it, and I’m allergic!”

Me: “Okay, then, no problem. I’d be happy to give you your money back, as long as you have that whole pizza.”

Customer: “It’s gone. I ate it all already; I was hungry. I need another pizza for free, or my money back!”

Me: “Nope.”

(I hung up. I am the manager there. I’m not an idiot when people try to get free food. They never ordered from us again.)

No Refunds, No Discrepancy, No Clue

, , , , , | Working | February 22, 2018

(A sale was put through as cash accidentally yesterday, resulting in the register being -£100. To correct it I have refunded the sale so the register for today will be +£100 and total out at zero across the two days. A coworker has been using the register and waits silently while I refund the sale.)

Coworker: “So, what does this do?”

Me: “Technically, I’m removing £100 to the expected total for the day, so the register will be £100 up when I cash the float tomorrow. It will cancel out the -£100 that was found yesterday, so the discrepancies for the week will be zero.”

Coworker: “Wait, so, a £200 discrepancy? I’m not getting blamed for that!”

(He tries to push me out of the way, but the receipt is already printing.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Coworker: “I got pulled for £5 last month. Who knows what will happen with £200! Fix it!”

Me: “That’s what I’ve been doing.”

Coworker: “No, you’re taking money out of my drawer. That’s not allowed. I’m telling!”

(He runs off and I finish what I need to. As I’m heading back to the office, he and the store manager stop me.)

Manager: “[My Name], [Coworker] said he saw you stealing from the register?”

Me: “No, I was fixing that cash sale from yesterday.”

(She accepted my answer but our coworker didn’t, and he demanded that the register be counted. The manager tried to explain, in very basic terms — ones and twos — what I had done, but he didn’t accept it. She ended up just leaving him while he demanded, in writing, confirmation that he would not be blamed when the register came up with a discrepancy. Lo and behold, the next day came and went with no one being pulled for stealing £100. This didn’t end here, though, as [Coworker] ended up calling HR, prompting a senior manager to audit our process. He didn’t find anything amiss and ended up advising we do training to resolve the confusion. We did, and [Coworker] still didn’t understand. I hear that whenever someone refunds his register, he calls HR again. They know him by name now.)

And That’s How The Scam-Cookie Crumbles

, , , , | Right | February 22, 2018

(My store has a double money-back guarantee on all store brand products, which includes bakery items. Many customers take advantage of this generous refund policy, and in particular we have a customer who will buy our most expensive on-shelf bakery item — 48 cookies for $20 — and then return it minutes later saying the cookies are undercooked. Cashiers are not allowed by policy to call out people on bad returns like this, but my supervisor has finally had enough and tells me to call him over if she tries her scam again. Two days later she does, of course, so I call him over and take a step back from the register to let him handle it. I see my supervisor shove something in his pocket on his way over.)

Supervisor: “I understand you want to return these cookies? Again?”

Customer: “What? What do you mean, ‘again’?”

Supervisor: “This is the fourth time this week you’ve bought our cookies and returned them not even ten minutes later.”

Customer: “That’s absurd! I haven’t been in this store in almost two weeks!”

(My supervisor reaches into his pocket, and I see what he had hidden there: a photocopy of all of her purchase receipts that week — we keep receipts after a refund — including the refund receipts, and wordlessly holds it out for her to see. She reads the paper, growing more furious with each word.)

Customer: “Well, so what if I’ve returned these cookies before this week?! It’s not my fault you have bad cookies!”

Supervisor: “You’re more than welcome to buy a [Name Brand] package if our own brand isn’t satisfactory.”

Customer: “NO! I want these!”

Supervisor: “Then take them. If you want them, then you don’t need a refund right?”

Customer: “No, I do! I want these cookies, but they’re always undercooked and soft!”

(My supervisor flips open the box, grabs a cookie, and holds it at eye level. Right in front of the customer, he breaks the cookie in half with an audible snap.)

Supervisor: “Hmm, weird. They seem perfectly cooked to me. Maybe even overcooked.”

Customer: *shrieking* “Get me the manager right f****** now!”

Supervisor: *gleefully* “No, I don’t think I will. You’ve stolen over $100 from us this week alone, and now you’ve sworn at me. You need to leave.”

Customer: “YOU B******!”

Supervisor: “Get out of my store or I’ll carry you out.”

(My supervisor is not a small man, and the customer can clearly see that. She hesitates a moment longer, then lunges over the counter and SPITS on the cookies before sprinting out of the store. My supervisor tosses the cookies in the trash and turns to me, grinning.)

Supervisor: “I guess that’s how the cookie crum–“

Me: “Don’t you dare. I’m just glad she left. So, you think she’ll try it at [Sister Location]?”

Supervisor: “Hopefully she’s not that stupid, but I’ll call them.”

(She was that stupid, of course, and when I went to our sister location to do my own shopping a week later, I was informed that she had been banned from not only us and them, but from every store in our district; that’s 24 stores that she can no longer steal from!)

Thievery Is On The Cards

, , , | Working | February 20, 2018

(I happen to have a gift card from a bookstore; however, I’m not really sure whether I’ve spent it or not yet, because I’ve had it a long time. Since I need to pick up some things, I just decide to get it checked out in the store.)

Employee: “Hello! Did you find everything okay today?”

Me: “Yeah. Also, can you check how much money is on this gift card for me, please, before you ring me up? I don’t know how much is on here.”

Employee: “Sure.”

(She checks and immediately says it’s empty. After that, she becomes almost hostile, and is adamant on keeping the “empty” gift card.)

Employee: “There’s nothing on it; you should just get rid of it!”

Me: “Um, no, thanks. I’m just going to take it back, please.”

(She hesitated, but gave me the card back, and I bought my things with my own money. When I got home, I tried to see if there was another way to check the card, and there was a number on their website. I called, and the representative told me that there was still $92 on the card. After that, it just seemed like the employee wanted my card for herself. I haven’t been back to that location since.)

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