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The Dead Speak … And Book Hotel Rooms, Too

, , , | Right | March 2, 2008

Me: “Thank you for calling Guest Relations; this is [My Name]. How can I assist you today?”

Guest: “I need to cancel my reservation I had a death in the family, and I won’t be able to make it.”

Me: “I’m certainly sorry to hear about that. I can contact the hotel for you and see if they would be willing to cancel the reservation without penalty. Can you give me the confirmation number?”

(Just then, his wife is in the background yelling at him, trying to take the phone away. She is calling him a liar and telling him that he is going to h*** if he does not tell me the truth. Then, she gets on the phone and says…)

Guest’s Wife: “I’m really sorry, but my husband is a liar and there was no death in the family. He made a mistake and booked the wrong hotel, and he doesn’t have the balls to admit it.”

Me: “Oh! Well, then, yeah…”

Guest’s Wife: “I have told him not to do it, but he did.”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but our policies and procedure for this rate are very strict. I would not be able to cancel the reservation for you without a penalty.”

Guest’s Wife: “SO YOU’RE A LIAR, TOO! You told my husband you would see if you can cancel without a penalty and now you can’t! BULLS***!”

Me: “Ma’am, I have to ask you to watch your language. We can contact the hotels if it’s an emergency. But we can never guarantee that it will be cancelled without a penalty for you. I advised that I would ask for you–”

Guest’s Wife: “FINE, THEN! IF IT HAS TO BE THAT WAY THEN I DIED; JUST TELL THEM THAT. I’M SURE THEY WOULD CANCEL THAT, THEN. RIGHT?!”

Me: “But ma’am you can’t be dead; I am talking to you. I’m sorry. I can’t cancel the reservation for you. If I do, you will be charged.”

Guest’s Wife: “YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON! YOU DON’T CARE IF WE DIED! I DEMAND A REFUND OF THIS. NOW.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I’m not able to assist at this time, so you guys have a great day.”

Guest’s Wife: “FINE, THEN! THIS WAS POINTLESS. Thanks for nothing, you heartless b****.”

Me: “You have a great day!”

(This person was the laughing stock of the day. She had the nerve to call back four times and try to convince someone to cancel the reservation for her with the same sob story again. Some people…)


This story is part of the Hypocritical Customers roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

10 Customers Who Lied About Their Health To Get Ahead

 

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A Nasty Case Of Selective Illiteracyosis

, , , | Right | February 9, 2008

(We have a “buy two, get one free” sale right after Christmas. The sign clearly says “lowest item free.”)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to buy these…” *shows me two $2.99 games for the Gamecube* “…and get this one free.” *shows me a used copy of Halo 3 for $54.99*

Me: “I’d like a million dollars.”

Customer: “I’m serious!”

Me: “So am I, sir. I’m sorry, that’s not how the ‘buy two, get one free’ works. You’d get one of the $2.99 games free.”

Customer: “THAT’S NOT WHAT THE SIGN SAYS! IT SAYS ‘BUY TWO, GET ONE FREE’!”

(I take the sign off wall and read it to customer.)

Me: “‘Buy two games, get one free’ on all used games. Please note that the lowest priced item will be free.”

Customer: “That’s not what the sign says! I’m going to sue you for false advertising!”

Me: “Sir, I don’t believe you can sue me because you can’t read.”


This story is part of the Christmas Day roundup!

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How To Scam A Scammer, Part 4

, , | Right | February 7, 2008

(My mom and I did long shifts at the restaurant we worked at, from 10 AM to 9 PM. Around 6:30 PM we received a call from a customer.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m calling in for a complaint.”

Me: “Okay, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “Yeah, I came in this morning and ordered some food, but the guy there, he just PUNCHED me in the face!”

Me: “Wh… you’re saying somebody working here punched you? When?”

Customer: “It was today around noon. The man working there punched me. So can I get some free food? ‘Cause it really hurt. I mean, I could sue you guys.”

Me: *trying really hard not to laugh* “I’m sorry, sir, we can’t do that. My mother and I have been working here since the restaurant opened and I assure you, neither of us have punched you in the face. Also, we only have female employees…”

Customer: “…Oh.” *click*


This story is part of our Scammer roundup!

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The Bald Truth

, , | Right | January 22, 2008

(Some customers at our restaurant try to get a free meal by placing some hair in their food and then blaming the chef and refusing to pay for the meal.)

Customer: “Waiter!”

Me: “How can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “There’s a hair in my food.”

Me: “That isn’t possible, unless it was your hair.”

Customer: “It isn’t!”

Me: “Who else’s hair could it be?”

Customer: “Your chef’s.”

(I walk into the kitchen and return to the table with our chef.)

Me: “Take off your chef’s hat.”

(Chef takes off his hat, he is revealed to be bald.)

Chef: *to the customer* “You were saying something about my hair being in your food?”


This story is part of the Lying-Customers-Getting-Caught roundup!

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Lesson 1: How To Scam A Scammer

, , | Right | October 31, 2007

Customer: “I want this pizza for free.”

Me: “No cash, no pizza. I don’t care if you eat or not.”

Customer: “Well, I know the owner of [Store] Pizza!”

Me: “Really? How do you know me?”

(Customer put his hand in his pocket and paid for the pizza. Note: I’m not really the owner of the store.)


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