I get a client on the line, in her 50’s. We do the normal security checks, and she then asks her question.

Caller: “Yes, you sent me an e-mail, but I have trouble filling in the form.”

Me: “I am looking at your file, but I see no e-mail. What was it about?”

Caller: “Oh, it’s that e-mail that you heard from the national tax office (Belastingdienst) that I can get a refund on my income tax and that I need to give both my bank account and my Tax number.”

Our company deals with housing and has nothing to do with refunds on income tax. Also, I have no idea what a tax number could be since that is linked to our Social Security numbers.

Me: “We don’t deal with income tax. Are you sure the e-mail was from us?”

Caller: “Of course, it says your company’s name right up here! So, I clicked the link, filled in my bank account and what I thought was my tax number, but the page said ‘error’ or so and asked me to do it again. But I am no good with computers; why is your company making this so difficult?”

Me: *Trying not to scream.* “Ma’am, that is a phishing e-mail! We don’t need your bank number; we already have it! And if you were to get a refund from your income tax, the national tax office would contact you. And they also know your bank number already!”

Caller: “A what mail?”

Me: “A phishing e-mail. Criminals try to trick you into giving them your bank numbers, so they can steal your money.”

Caller: “Oh, no, no, I have security from [Provider]. They wouldn’t mail me.”

Me: “That security can’t stop all e-mails.”

Caller: “They can’t? But… so they can e-mail me? Are they allowed to do that?”

Me: “They are not allowed to do that; that’s why they are criminals. Listen, if they have your bank number, one of the most used scams is that they call you, pretend to be your bank, and for security reasons they will send an employee or cop to your home to pick up your card. And for security reasons, they will also ask your PIN (code). Do not believe them; they are the criminals. Just call the cops.”

Caller: “Oh dear… I didn’t know about all of this! You’d think they’d mention this in the news or so…”

I hold my tongue because this is a very frequent news item.

Caller: “Well, I guess I will just delete the e-mail then?”

Me: “It’s best you do, ma’am.”

Caller: “Thank you. Oh, I now have something exciting to talk about when [Name] comes over for a cup of tea.”

Me: “You do that, ma’am, let them all know how you foiled their plans!”

Caller: “I will! Those nasty crooks!”

We say goodbye, and the woman hangs up.

 I rush to our security officer to inform them about a phishing email in our name. Within ten minutes, a message is on our website. Our communications department is looking into a video that’s easy to understand for as many people as possible, language barrier or not.

I then went to a coworker who deals with people who might need assistance (i.e., dementia). While I do not think this lady was in mental need, I do think she was sheltered and might need some help in the digital plane.

Related:
Tell Them To Go Phish!, Part 2
Tell Them To Go Phish!

I work at the reception desk of a hypermarket. For a while, we were allowed to keep people’s bags at reception, but recently we’re no longer allowed to.

When I tell this to a customer who wants to leave their bag with us, they get annoyed.

Customer #1: “That’s ridiculous! I’ve already got deodorants in my bag; I’m not going to make the round trip in this heatwave, and if I keep the bag at the till they’ll accuse me of stealing them. I’m going to leave a bad Google review.”

Before I could say anything, another customer chimed in.

Customer #2: “You know, there’s no point; those are the shop’s rules.”

[Customer #1] looks at him as if to say, “What business is this of yours?”, but [Customer #2] carries on.

Customer #2: “If you leave a review, [Shop Name] might post a reply saying ‘yes, that’s not very nice’, but they’ll actually be praising the shop assistant behind the scenes.”

Up to that point, I thought [Customer #2] was nice, as he seemed to be standing up for me, but unfortunately, he carries on.

Customer #2: “You’ve got to lie and give it five stars, saying something like, “Despite the heatwave, the shop assistant agreed to fill my water bottle even though they sell water – she’s so kind.” Then you can be sure the shop will have a go at the shop assistant because they’ll lose money if she actually does that… And loads of people will come and ask her for water because she’s ‘already done it’.”

Customer #1: “Not a bad idea!”

I checked later; there were two comments like that, probably from these two customers, before I had time to warn the management. Luckily, nobody came to ask me for water for their flask. Unfortunately, I got a telling-off from the store manager because of the “trick”, because the store manager didn’t believe me.

Today during lunch, a woman called the restaurant saying:

Customer: “I ordered a sandwich from you and the bread is stale. You will need to make me a new sandwich.”

I asked for her name and looked for her order, which wasn’t in the system. So, I asked her:

Me: “Ma’am, what time did you pick up your order today?”

I was hoping I could find her order on a closed ticket.

Customer: “I ordered on Monday. I have the other half of my sandwich in front of me, and it’s inedible.”

Obviously, her bread is going to be stale by now, but I recognized her name; she’s a repeat customer with no previous issues. She sounded older, so I thought I’d be generous and make her another sandwich anyway.

Me: “I’m happy to make you another sandwich. Are you available to pick it up in the next fifteen minutes?”

Customer: *With a very bad attitude.* “No, you guys are going to deliver it.”

That’s when I realized that I recognized her name from our UberEATS orders.

Me: “I can make you a new sandwich, but I will not be able to have a driver dispatched to deliver your order.”

Customer: “Well, you delivered to me before!”

I had to explain third-party delivery apps, but it didn’t register with her. Apparently, her daughter orders the food to be sent to her. I told the woman that I wouldn’t be able to replace her sandwich, sorry for the inconvenience.

Unfortunately, it didn’t end there. Her daughter called us and started yelling:

Customer’s Daughter: “I WANT MY MONEY BACK! MY MOM’S FOOD IS INEDIBLE, AND THE BREAD IS COVERED IN BLACK MOLD! GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK!”

Me: “Your mom said the bread was stale. So, which is it? Stale, or black mold?”

Customer’s Daughter: “Black mold.”

Me: “Why didn’t she call us immediately when she received her order? Why did she eat half of her sandwich if the sandwich is covered in black mold?”

The daughter is silent for a second, then yells:

Customer’s Daughter: “THE BREAD IS STALE, AND YOU WILL GIVE ME A REFUND NOW!”

So, I responded by hanging up on her. I know for sure that our bread was baked at 4 AM that morning. I don’t give more time than I need for grifters.

A guest calls the front desk from her room.

Guest: “My room was supposed to be cleaned, but there are no fresh towels!”

This is a room that recently passed a cleaning inspection by the owner. The only way to pass inspection is to have EVERYTHING fully stocked. I sent a coworker up to the room, who came back and confirmed there were towels.

Guest: *Calling back.* “There are no fresh bathroom supplies!”

Coworker: *To me.* “Nope. They have everything stocked. Everything.”

Me: *To the guest.* “Ma’am, all the items were restocked following your room being cleaned. I can send someone up to show you where everything is—”

Guest: “—You’re lying! I want to speak to the owner!”

We are a smaller, privately owned hotel, so the owner was at hand. He went to the room personally and showed her where the towels, supplies, toiletries, and everything else were in her room. When the owner came by the front desk, he told me:

Owner: “She had the audacity to be on the phone with the third-party booking agent she used to book the room, telling them we didn’t resupply the room and demanding for a refund. She was doing that AS I WAS SHOWING HER where all the stuff was.”

Me: “What did she say when you did all that?”

Owner: “She didn’t respond to me directly; she just kept telling the agent on the phone that we were gaslighting her.”

Me: “Why would we do that?”

Owner: “You see this sometimes. They look for reasons, any reasons, to get a discount or a refund from us. I guarantee you that whatever booking agent she used to book here is going to call us back “on behalf of our mutual client” to ask if there’s anything we can do. If they call back tell them, we can put “our mutual client” on our banned list and see if that helps them calm down.”

The agent did indeed call back, and did indeed ask for a discount or refund “on behalf of our mutual client” (yes, they used those exact words – the owner called it!). I replied that we would ban the guest if they continued to make up false claims about our service and continue to demand a discount, and the agent simply said they understood and would pass that information back to “our mutual client”.

The guest didn’t cause another ruckus during her stay, but she gave us the stink eye every time she passed us in the lobby.

A lady and (I assume) her mother are buying a toy. It was one big thing; I can’t remember exactly what, and it was in a decent-sized box. I put it through the till and asked for the £30.

Customer: “It’s only £5.”

I explained that it was definitely £30 and had never been lower.

Customer: “It’s £5 on the shelf. You’ve got to give it to us for that.”

I still doubted it, but I went to have a look at the shelves to see if there was a mix-up. It was £30. The ticket was quite clear, saying it was £30. I went back and explained that, with the ticket to prove it.

Customer: “It’s marked as £5. You’ve got to give it to us for that. Got to.”

I politely explained that I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, as it was correctly priced.

Customer: “You’ve got to.”

So, I asked them to show me. They took me to a different area of the shop, away from the toy department, and pointed to an empty shelf.

Customer: “It says £5. You’ve got to give it to us for that. GOT TO. YOU’VE GOT TO.”

It was an empty shelf where our cheap kettles went. Again, I said that it was a different item, and the toy was clearly marked at the right price. I even apologised for someone else dumping it in the wrong area.

Customer: “Got to. You’ve got to give it to us for £5. GOT TO.”

I had to get my manager over. He backed me up.

Customer: “YOU’VE GOT TO. IT’S THE LAW. YOU’VE GOT TO.”

They eventually left, dumping the box on my till and storming out in a huff.

Their reaction and refusal to back down always stuck with me. They seemed to have this belief that no matter what the item was, the ticket on the shelf was the price, regardless of whether or not it was the right item in the first place.