The Amazing World Of Gumball

, , , , , | Right | September 15, 2020

I’ve worked at a video store for years. Many people try to lie to try to get out of late fees, but this was a one-time incident.

We have a gumball machine in the store. Like in many convenience or video stores, a certain-colored gumball — in our case, white — yields something free: a movie rental, for our store.

A kid, about twelve, who I know has stolen games from us and therefore won’t be allowed to rent anyway, walks up to the gumball machine. After casting a furtive glance at me over his shoulder — I pretty much death-glare into his soul — he pretends, very blatantly, to put a quarter in the machine and turns the knob. He waits about two seconds before turning to me.

Customer: “Yes! I got a white gum! I’m gonna go pick out my movie, okay? Can you put the credit on my account?

Me: “That’s fine, but where’s the gumball? I just need to see it for a moment before you chew it.”

Customer: “I already ate it, see?”

He opens his mouth; he has a well-chewed and very small piece of gum in his mouth.

Me: “Yeah, I can say with some certainty that you already had that gum. Nice try, though.”

Customer: “What? I just put it in my mouth! This store is such a rip-off. You should take that sign down about winning a free rental since it’s a lie. I’m gonna get my mom to call and tell the boss about you!”

My patience has evaporated.

Me: “Your mom’s account is under [Customer]. You have two XBox 360 games rented a year ago that never came back. I have a really good memory, but even if I didn’t, it would show when you tried to rent, so I can’t rent to you anyway.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, we took [Game #1] and [Game #2] from here. What if I bring them back? I live like two minutes away and they’re in my room.”

Me: “So, you’re admitting you still have the games, and apparently, you have willfully held onto them after dozens of phone calls about them being late. I’m fairly certain you should leave now.”

The customer took off running, full-speed. That was two years ago; he hasn’t shown his face since.

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We Hope She Likes Walking Home

, , , , , , | Right | September 15, 2020

A customer brings an item to the till. It comes to about $16, and when she opens her wallet I clearly see a $20 bill. She puts down $2.

Customer: *Whining* “That’s all I have! Is that okay? Can I take it?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I need the full amount.”

I don’t mention that I saw a twenty in her wallet. She puts down a few dollars more.

Me: “I still need the full amount.”

Customer: *Still whining* “But I need money for the bus!”

This continued for quite a while until she finally paid the actual amount for the item and left.

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He Didn’t Manage To Get Away With This One

, , , , | Working | September 13, 2020

I work at a family-run department store in a mid-sized city. We take layaways and orders from our loyal customer base. In mid-October, the owners — a lovely couple — hired a new manager that we grew to dislike fairly quickly because he always takes shortcuts.

It’s a couple of weeks before Christmas and the owners have been out of town for a week due to a family emergency. I’m helping a gentleman to try and find his order and have had no luck.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t find it here in the system. Is it at all possible that you put it under a different name?”

Customer #1: “No, I’m sure that I put it down under my name. I paid a lot of money for this gift.”

Me: “Let me call my manager and see if he can find it.”

I call up the manager.

Manager: “It must not have been ordered. [Coworker #1] is in charge of putting in our orders; I’ll deal with her.”

After the customer leaves, I ask the manager about this.

Me: “I didn’t know that [Coworker #1] had the authority to use the ordering system.”

Manager: “Oh, she doesn’t; I just told him that so he’d leave. Don’t mention it to her, okay? What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

I’m shocked at first and resolve to tell the coworker about it the next day. Before I can find her, the returning owners call me, her, and about three other employees into the office.

Owner: “I’m very disappointed in you all. I’ve had lots of calls from our customers while we were away, all complaining about you all not doing your jobs. You guys know that as soon as you take the order, you have to put it on the system for [Manager] to order the item up.”

Coworker #1: “I did log it in after they made the payment! [Manager] told me that [Coworker #3] didn’t put in the order.”

Coworker #2: “He told me that it was [My Name]’s job to put in the order.”

Me: “He told me that he just forgot and to blame [Coworker #1].”

We told the owner everything the manager had been telling us and he seemed shocked. He told us to go back to our stations in the store and called up [Manager]. From what we heard from the owner’s wife later, the manager had been taking the payments for himself and just blaming the rest of us. Police were called and the court case is currently pending.

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When The Operating System IS The Malware

, , , | Right | September 11, 2020

I work at a computer store that offers fixed-price computer-virus and trojan removal.

Customer: “I think my computer has a computer-virus; it says something odd when it starts.”

Me: “Okay, let’s have a look.”

I boot the machine and it gives a message about a pirated copy of Windows.

Customer: “That’s the computer-virus!”

Me: “No, it says that because it has an illegal copy of the operating system. They release updates that include checks every now and then, and they’ve discovered yours is a fake.”

Customer: “The kids must have gotten that when the antivirus expired.”

Me: “Um, no. It’s been like that since it was installed.”

Customer: “You advertise computer-virus removal; remove it!”

Me: “It’s not a computer-virus; it’s an illegal piece of software.”

Customer: “You have to do it; you advertise it!”

Me: “I’d be happy to remove any malware from your computer, but it wouldn’t still remove the error message you are seeing. I can’t remove your operating system unless you want me to install a legit copy.”

Customer: “Thanks for nothing, nerd!”

The customer grabbed his laptop and then walked out, kicking the doors.

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Why They Keep Getting Away With It

, , , | Right | September 11, 2020

I work in a Christian store that sells books, apparel, gifts, and education supplies. One thing we sell is sleep mats for school children to take naps on. This lady comes in with an exchange.

Customer: “Hello. I bought this mat for my granddaughter for school only a couple of weeks ago and it’s already destroyed.”

The mat is very torn and worn.

Me: “Wow, yeah, it’s in pretty bad shape. Do you happen to have your receipt?”

Customer: “No, I don’t.”

Me: “Well, did you pay with a card? I could maybe look it up in the system?”

Customer: “No, I think I paid with cash. I would be okay with an exchange.”

Me: “That would be fine. We have some along the back wall if you just want to grab one.”

Customer: “Okay, great.”

She heads back there, leaving the old mat with me at the front. I start looking at the mat further, incredulous that so much damage was done to it. Then, I notice that it doesn’t look like the ones we currently stock. I look at the tag, as all our tags have dates of when they came in on the truck. It was bought seven years ago! I can’t believe this lady is trying to pull this, as this kind of thing hasn’t happened to me yet. At that moment, she reappears with a new mat.

I am looking it over, hoping I can find a way out of giving her a new one.

Me: “Oh, I see this one is slightly higher in price than your old one. Also, the old one isn’t ringing up in my system for some reason. I’ll have to call my manager to see if she can help.”

I call my manager and explain the situation as best I can in front of the customer so she doesn’t think I’m accusing her of scamming us.

Manager: *To the lady* “This doesn’t appear to ring up in our system anymore. Do you remember when you bought it?”

Customer: “Like a few months ago.”

Manager: “Are you sure? Because the tag says it’s a few years old. We don’t even carry this style anymore.”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m sure. Maybe I bought it on clearance or it was a return or something.”

I should mention that my store has a written return policy but is VERY lenient about it and will usually give customers the benefit of the doubt.

Manager: “Hmm.” *To me* “Go ahead and do an even exchange. I’ll allow it.”

I’m dying a little inside, knowing that was probably going to happen.

Me: “Okay, ma’am. Here you go. An even exchange. Have a blessed day.

Sometimes, I really can’t stand people.

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