(My coworker has just talked to an abusive customer. He threatened her and she told him that if he continued his threats, she would disconnect. However, he hung up on her. He calls back, but doesn’t know that our system matches phone numbers to the people they last called with, if available. My coworker remains calm as the customer tells her how rude the lady before was, that she hung up on him, and that he did nothing wrong.)

Coworker: “Sir, you are saying my colleague was rude to you, yelled at you, and hung up on you. Are you willing to write that down and file as a complaint?” *silence as the customer speaks* “All right, then let me clear up one detail for you to add. Sir, I was the lady you talked to and I was in no way rude to you. In fact, you threatened me and you hung up on me. Please include those facts as– Huh, he hung up again.”

(I’m the assistant manager of an auto repair shop. A regular customer of mine calls on a Saturday afternoon, one of our busiest days of the week.)

Customer: “Hi, [My Name], I just bought a new car. Is there any way I can bring it in today for an inspection?”

Me: “Is it a new, new car? How many miles are on it?”

(If the car is brand new, it will typically take a lot less time.)

Customer: “No, it’s a 2017; I think there’s about 49,000 on it.”

Me: “Okay, if you can bring it down soon and drop it off with us, we can get it done today, but we’ll need to keep it for at least a few hours. Of course, we can get you a ride home and pick you up when it’s done.”

Customer: “All right, I’ll be there soon.”

(When he shows up to drop the car off, I am not at the counter, and he talks to our general manager.)

Customer: “Do you think this is going to take long?”

General Manager: “Well, [My Name] said you were going to drop it off, right?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I’m pretty sure she said it would only be an hour to an hour and a half.”

General Manager: *who had been standing three feet away when I took the customer’s call* “I’m sorry, but I’m pretty sure she told you at least a few hours. Let me get you that shuttle ride home.”

(It amazes me how many people try things like that; do they really think we don’t talk to each other?)

I live in a very bad neighborhood. Mostly the people are what makes it this way. 

One day, my family decides on having chicken for dinner so I take my young daughter with me to get it. When we get to the restaurant, it’s mostly dead — not a lot of customers. I place our order and we move to the side.

While we’re waiting for the order to be made, my neighbor walks in. She’s screaming and throwing her hands in the air. She tells the cashier it’s the worst food she has ever eaten and throws a receipt at the poor cashier. 

My neighbor continues to scream about how bad her food was burnt, how horrible the sides tasted, and how the cashier had to make it right. She keeps screaming even after the manager agrees to replace her food.

My food is done, so my daughter and I immediately leave; my neighbor is still screaming. We go out to find her car parked next to mine with her eleven-year-old daughter inside. 

I ask, “Hey, what was wrong with the chicken for your mom to scream that bad?”

The daughter replies, “Nothing was wrong with it. Mommy just wanted more but didn’t want to pay for it. So she screams at people to get free food.”

(This begins when “Pokemon Go” has just become a thing.)

Wife: “I really hope you like your Christmas present this year.”

(Christmas arrives, but the present doesn’t.)

Wife: “This is so annoying! They said it would be here by now!”

(January 15 arrives and it’s still not here.)

Wife: “I can’t believe this! Why isn’t it here yet?!”

Me: “Let me look into it. Show me where you ordered it.”

(She had gone through Amazon to get me a “Pokemon Go Plus.” After checking over the reviews…)

Me: “It was a scam.”

Wife: “WHAT?!”

Me: “Yep, look at all these comments. Let’s put in for a refund.”

(Two years later, I am at an appointment speaking with someone when my phone keeps vibrating incessantly, alternating between my wife and a mystery number.)

Me: *sighs* “I’m sorry, but this keeps happening. Do you mind if I get this?”

Appointment Man: “No problem.”

Me: *answers for wife* “What?!”

Wife: “There’s another number that should be calling you! You have to pick up!”

Me: “Okay…” *does so next call*

Man: “[My Name]?”

Me: “Yes?”

Man: “Hey, I’m calling to congratulate you! You and your wife have won a trip to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter!”

Me: “Oh, really?”

(Admittedly, you’re reading this and thinking, “Come on, don’t fall for it,” but we recently had, in fact, put our names into a contest for this at a comic-con*

Man: “Yes! It couldn’t have happened to a nicer pair of teachers. Now, all we need is a card number to put down a deposit.”

(My wife is patched in now, as well, on a three-way call, and she is gushing over her excitement. Alarm bells are going off in my head, but admittedly, I need to get back to my appointment and can’t deal with this.)

Wife: “This is so exciting! We really needed this!”

Me: “Is my part done here? I kind of have to get back to what I’m doing here…”

Man: “Yes, no problem. Congratulations, again!”

(I finish up with my appointment and then head home, starting to look into the company from the invoice that was very quickly sent. My heart quickly sinks as I can’t find a BBB rating for them, the site has only had a domain for 160 days despite them claiming to have been a travel company for ten years, etc. I explain it to my very disappointed wife who doesn’t want to believe that we’ve been scammed, yet again, but I point out the facts and she grudgingly accepts it. Turns out, though, she gave them our debit card number and I learn the hard way that it is much harder to get a payment reversed on a debit card than a credit card. We spend the next month and a half sweating over possibly losing $400, but in the end, we get it back. One year later…)

Wife: “I really hope your anniversary present gets here in time. They said it should be here by now.”

Me: “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

(The anniversary arrives and, lo and behold, nothing.)

Wife: “I can’t believe this! You want to look into it?”

Me: “Sure… Where’s it coming from?”

Wife: *gives me the site* “I even emailed them and they didn’t email me back!”

Me: *thinking* “Not again…” *looks into site* “Third time’s the charm, honey.”

Wife: “What?”

Me: “Scam.”

Wife: “OH, COME ON!”

(Yes, we did get the money back on that one, too. At least this time it was on a credit card.)

(My daughter is a driver for a restaurant delivery company and is delivering a meal.)

Daughter: “Hi. I have your food. The total is [price].”

Customer: “I paid with a card already.”

Daughter: “I’m sorry, but the order says ‘cash.’ I have to collect that from you before I hand it over.”

Customer: “I tell you, I paid cash.”

Daughter: “Okay, that’s fine. Let me see your receipt.”

Customer: “It’s on my phone.”

Daughter: “Yes, I know. If you can show me, I can give you the food.”

Customer: “My phone is dead. It needs to charge.”

Daughter: “That’s fine. I can wait a few minutes so you can show me.”

Customer: “Just give me my food and I’ll show you when it’s charged.”

Daughter: “No, sorry. I need the receipt first.”

Customer: “F*** you!” *slams door shut*

Daughter: *to the closed door* “I thought so.”

(The customer got a permanent ban on ordering. You have to wonder just how stupid someone has to be to have the capacity to use a telephone, yet think it’s a bright idea to rip off others while giving a real name, address, and phone number.)