All Signs Point To Yes

, , , | Right | February 20, 2009

(A customer is at the refund counter to return a DVD player. I get called over to inspect it, because I work in the electronics department.)

Coworker: “All right, everything seems okay. May I see your receipt?”

(The customer hands over her receipt, but it’s dated July. It is November now. Our return policy only allows for 45 days.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, I cannot give you a refund, because this is from July.”

Customer: “But the electronics associate said I can return it anytime!”

Coworker: “Do you remember who it was?”

Customer: “It was that young man!” *points towards me*

Me: “Ma’am, I have never told you such a thing.”

Customer: “Yes, you did! Are you calling me a liar?!”

Me: “Well, I’m just a seasonal worker who got hired two weeks ago, so…”

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Fact Check Fail

, , , | Right | February 17, 2009

Customer: “I want a refund. NOW!”

Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: “I came through the drive-thru about fifteen minutes ago, and you shorted me six tacos!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Well?!”

Me: “We don’t have a drive-thru.”

Customer: *slinks out of the store*


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Do As I Shout, Not As I Do

, , , , , , | Right | February 16, 2009

Supervisor: “Well, it says here that you have five books that are overdue. Would you like to renew them?”

Patron: “What do you mean, overdue?”

(The supervisor shows the patron the overdue titles on the monitor.)

Patron: “We returned those books! I can’t believe this kind of stuff happens! What kind of library is this anyway?”

Patron’s Young Child: “But, Papa, I saw one of the books at home, remember? In the–”

Patron: “Shut UP!”

(Ironically, one of the books he claimed to have returned was, “Teaching Your Child Good Manners.”)

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A Law Degree In Second-Degree Burns

, , , | Right | February 11, 2009

(Our convenience store is on a college campus, and we have five different kinds of coffee in self-serve urns).

Customer: “Wow, this coffee is really hot!”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “What if I spill it or something? I could get burned!”

Me: “Well, yes. But it’s coffee. Coffee is usually hot.”

Customer: “Well, I could sue you, you know. I heard about a woman who sued because the coffee burned her.”

Me: “I don’t know that you could, actually. That was–”

Customer: *interrupting* “Yeah, but I don’t see any signs.”

(I point to large signs on all the coffee urns saying, “Caution: Contents HOT“.)

Customer: “I could still sue.”

Me: “Yeah, but you’re a college student. We assume you can read.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah? Betcha I could prove I can’t!”

Me: “…”


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The Tiny Flaw In An Otherwise Brilliant Plan

, , , , , | Right | February 9, 2009

(I work at customer service and this lady could not return a lamp because it was past our 90-day return policy.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, the transaction for the lamp does not show up on your credit card. Has it been more than 90 days?”

Customer: “No, I don’t think so! Try it again.”

(I try two more times and sure enough, the same thing happens.)

Me: “Ma’am, if you bought the lamp more than 90 days ago, it does not show up in our system anymore. We can do a store credit return if you would like, but you would get the lowest price which is about $3 less.”

Customer: “Fine. It was 92 days ago! Now can I return it?”

Me: “I cannot do that. That purchase is not in our system anymore and the computer will only allow me to give you store credit at that price.”

(A long argument ensues and I tell her the same things.)

Customer: “Well, you know what? I’m going to buy this lamp again and then use THAT receipt to return it!”

Me: “Why would you want to do that? You would technically own two and then you’re returning one. It makes no difference.”

Customer: “Then I’ll buy a NEW one and use that receipt to return my broken one!”

Me: “I cannot allow you to do that. I am the supervisor and would have to report that sort of potential activity to our store security and managers.”

Customer: “How did you know what I’m going to do?!”

Me: “…um, because you just told me?”

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