This happens just after the restrictions are eased in England; things are still scary, but we are slowly getting back to normal.

I am back in the office with only a percentage of the workforce.

I see a guy I don’t recognise making his way down the desks, stopping at every person. He has something in his hand but I don’t pay him any attention.

As he gets closer, I notice it’s a toilet roll, unwrapped but new. I wonder what is going on, so when he steps to my desk, I pay him attention.

Coworker: “Want to buy any toilet roll? I can get you as much as you want.”

Me: “What?! No. I’ll buy it from the shops.”

He looks frustrated; he has made it all the way to the end of the office, I’m guessing without a sale.

Coworker: “Come on! I will give you a fair price, and a discount if you buy a hundred. You won’t be able to buy them in the shops soon.”

Me: “Only because idiots like you are buying them all. Piss off.”

Admittedly, I am out of line with my language, so when a manager approaches, looking stern, I think the worst.

Manager: “What is going on?”

Me: “Nothing, sorry.”

Manager: *To my coworker* “What are you doing here? You don’t work on this floor.”

Coworker: “Just trying to help out my fellow coworkers.”

The manager looks him up and down.

Manager: “Follow me.”

They both disappeared and I thought nothing more about it. I heard a week later someone was marched off site and sacked.

Apparently, one of the senior managers was really ill with the serious spreading illness and had serious problems getting basic food and drink for his young family, so the company took no sympathy for idiots trying to exploit others or hoard for themselves.

The fact that he was using work time to go around all of the offices sealed his fate.

I am doing a computer science degree at university. We have a group work project which is set out in two stages. Part A involves making an application and writing a report about it. For Part B, we get feedback from Part A and have to improve upon it.

There is a group contribution report at the end where each student puts in how much they think each member of the group has done.

I am in a randomly selected group with four others. We each pick a part of the work that we want to do.

I am apparently the group’s most confident coder, so I assign myself about half of the code. I finish up my work in about the first three weeks and work on other projects I have for other modules.

Then, soon after I finish my work, the others ask me if I can do their parts of the code, too. I initially protest, as I have my other coursework due, but eventually, I say fine, so long as it is noted in the group contribution report that they all agreed to this. I sweat it out over the next three weeks or so alongside my other coursework.

I contact my module organiser, explaining that I have done half the work.

Module Organiser: “If people in your group aren’t pulling their weight, I suggest you leave the group, take your code with you, and do the report.”

That would mean I would need to work flat-out to produce the report and probably would mess it up. I don’t want that. The deadline is in about a week. And I honestly can’t be a**ed.

Then, I get asked to do some of the report, too, because they don’t understand how the code worked. By this point, I feel pretty used by them, but I don’t really mind so long as I get the marks.

All in all, I work out that I have done the workload of three people. There is talk amongst the others of all writing that we each contributed 20% of the workload to “make us look better as a team.” I flatly refuse. They explode, calling me every name under the sun, swearing at me, telling me to “f*** off.”

I send off my contribution report with 60% listed for myself and 10% each for the rest. And I think that is that.

My module organiser then emails me.

Module Organiser: “Do you have any proof of your contribution to this project? Your fellow group members have put you down for 0% and given themselves 25% each.”

I email him back linking him to the program I used to share the code with the team, which shows who made changes to the code, proving that I did all of it. And thankfully, we did the whole report on Google Drive, so I can also see the history on that document and send him screenshots of all the alterations that I personally made, proving that I wrote about 20% of the report.

He adds it all up and makes a special exception for my group, saying he will give me the most credit for the work.

I think I end up with a 65% and they all get 11% for the whole coursework Part A. They would need 69% to even pass the module.

It turns out that I f***ed up a bit on the code, only getting about 50% of the marks with a massive issue in it, but my report sections were near perfect — just spelling mistakes, formatting, etc. There were a few glaring mistakes from the report that my groupmates had written, but other than that, it was not bad.

When the other members of my group find out their marks, they start calling me up and emailing me and messaging me almost for about three hours. Apparently, my module organiser had sent an email explaining that they had lied, and he had proof of it, so he had corrected the marks accordingly.

When I get back to my phone, I screenshot all the messages they sent and record all the voicemails, including the ones they had sent previously, featuring multiple occasions where everyone in the group told me to “f*** off.”

And f*** off I do. I send all these voicemails and screenshots to my module organiser via email.

Me: “I would like to leave my group. I understand that it is more work for me, but I’d rather not deal with that.”

The organiser agrees and escalates the messages to someone higher up.

Me: “I would like to take all of my code with me and remove their access to it. Is that allowed?”

Module Organiser: “That’s fine. It’s your work, and since you are no longer in their group, the others cannot submit it.”

I fix the error in the code in about two weeks. Then, I do the whole report from scratch almost.

I then get messages from the group during the last few days of the assignment.

Group Member #1: “Please come back! We really need you.”

Group Member #2: “We will literally pay you to come back and help us.”

I screenshot the messages and send them to the module organiser, just to let him know what is happening, and then I just ignore them.

I end up submitting two weeks early for the deadline and get 100% on the whole of Part B, which is basically unheard at university, especially by yourself for group work.

Later that day, I get an email from a plagiarism and collusion officer — not someone you ever want to get an email from. Basically, it says that I’m being summoned to a hearing, as an external body looked at both the coursework I did by myself and the coursework my old group did, and they thought it was very similar. I get the whole project that my group handed in and my own back as evidence so I can look and prepare my answers to their questions.

I email my module organiser to ask if he supports me in this, because basically, in these situations they can punish all parties involved or one party — never nobody. He says that, yes, he supports me in this. Perfect.

I prepare for this meeting by going through the hundreds of commits I have made while they had access to find the one that is most similar. I find a perfect match — zero differences, not even a single character — through the thousands of lines of code.

And then, I go to the meeting, which is held over video chat. The VP of computing is there — a guy who could basically do whatever the h*** he wants to us. My old group is asked to explain why this has happened, and they go on about how they did all of the work by themselves, blah, blah, blah. You get the point. This goes on for about ten minutes.

Then, I am asked to present my argument.

Me: “Can I share my screen?”

VP: *Puzzled* “Yeah… Okay…”

Apparently, some of the people in the meeting weren’t aware that I’d worked with the group before. I show all the screenshots I took, including them basically begging for me to come back, and offering money. And as if this wasn’t enough to convince them, I then download a fresh version of what they submitted, and a fresh version of one of my commits on the sharing program, and I run it through a trusted comparison software. I narrate this to explain what I am doing just to be clear. It takes a while, but it comes up, as I knew it would, with zero differences.

Everyone is stunned. One of the group members utters, “But…”

I just laugh. And I am quickly asked to hang up as I am no longer involved.

It turned out that they had cloned one of my commits and still had a copy on their laptop when I blocked their access. They were not able to fix it at all, so they just submitted it and hoped for the best.

I found out through a mutual friend that they failed the whole module; they got a zero for Part B, giving them just 5.5% overall for the module. You need 40% to pass. Therefore, they would have to retake the module over the summer, costing everyone in the group their placement year jobs. After all, who wants someone who failed a module so badly and who was intellectually dishonest working for them? This meant that they all lost out on being paid around 20k each for the year’s work, which goes a long way for a uni student.

I happily got mine.

I recently won a good sum of money on the national lottery. It is just enough to settle my mortgage and car loan and some left over to help out a friend of mine and make a good donation to my favourite charity.

I accidentally let it slip that I won a “small amount” of money at work. The next day in the break room, two guys I don’t really know from another department approach.

Guy #1: “Hey, ain’t you the guy that won the lottery?”

Guy #2: “What are you still doing here?”

Me: “It was only a small amount, really.”

Guy #1: “Yeah, that’s what I would say, as well.”

Guy #2: “How are we celebrating? You got to bring something in.”

Me: “Well, actually, I—”

“I already did bring in a large selection of cakes,” is what I’d say if they would let me finish.

Guy #1: “Bring something in? No, we should go out. You can take us all out.”

Guy #2: “There’s that steak house.”

Guy #1: “Yeah! Our friend here can take us all out for steaks! Great idea.”

Me: “What’s my name?”

Guy #1: “What?”

He smirks at the other guy.

Me: “If we are such great friends, and you are not just a couple of guys who wanted to leech off of me… what’s my name?”

I left both of them dumbstruck trying to answer me. I am more than happy to share good times, but not with a couple of leeches that never acknowledged my existence before.

I am looking for a dress for an event. This is during the global health crisis, so I’m forgiving of delayed shipping times, and it’s also why I order the dress early. I find a dress I really like on a major retail website, but they don’t stock the color I want in my size. I am able to find the same thing at an online boutique that my friend has had a good experience with.

I order the dress, but the first red flag comes up: I get a massive discount, about 75%. I get a confirmation email, my account is charged, and I’m told I’ll receive my order in about a week. It doesn’t come after two and a half weeks, so I email them. No response. I use the chat system on their website. There is no phone number or email address on their website, only their physical address. Their messages are formatted really weirdly, and I’ve typed them out like I got them.

Me: “Hello, I ordered a dress from you on April 30, and I was wondering when it was going to come. I did get an email that confirmed the purchase, but I didn’t get one that said it had been shipped.”

Company: “Hello, could you tell me your order number? Then I will help you check it.”

I send my order number.

Company: “Hello, your dress is ready for shipping. About seven days for shipping. My pleasure to help you.”

All right, cool. I can wait a few more days easily. The event is in July. Three more weeks go by, and it’s now the beginning of June. I haven’t gotten the dress or any emails about it.

Me: “Hello, my name is [My Name]. I ordered a dress for you on April 30. The order number is [number]. I got a purchase confirmation, and three weeks ago I was told it was ready to ship, but I never got an email saying it shipped. I was just wondering when it was going to ship and when it will arrive. I ordered this dress for an event on July 15, and I will need it by then. Thank you so much for your help.”

No response. The next day, I check the major online retailer again, and the dress I originally wanted is back in stock. I put it in my cart and return to the other site.

Me: “I have changed my mind on a purchase I made with you. I have not yet received my merchandise and I would like to know how to proceed on getting a refund.”

Immediately, I get a response.

Company: “Don’t worry.”

Twenty minutes later, I get an email.

Company: “Hello, your order has just been shipped out; tracking number will upload in twenty-four hours.”

Okay, fine. Maybe I’ll get the dress. The week before the event comes and still no dress.

Me: “Good evening, my order number is [number] and I would like to know the status of my order.”

Company: “Hello, we are making your dress.”

So, the dress I ordered months ago and was told had been shipped out is being made right now.

I look up their reviews on the site, but they’re all praising the company for their high-quality dresses for low prices. The only slightly negative review mentions a month for shipping, but that’s it.

I check another review site, and lo and behold, several people complain about never receiving their merchandise. One review even says that their credit card company mailed a claim to the address listed on the site and the address doesn’t exist. Come to find out, the company is based out of China, and they basically just take your money and run. They send products to a handful of customers and pay them to post multiple good reviews under different names. I’m finally fed up with the company and get back on the chat to have this message exchange.

Me: “I was told the dress shipped out a couple of weeks ago, and I still have not received it. I need this dress for an event next week, and I gave you ample time to deliver, even amidst the current health crisis, and you still have not come through.”

Company: “When do you want it?”

Me: “I need it by next Thursday so I’ll have it in time for my event.”

Company: “Can you give us more time? We can give partical refund to you.”

Yes, “partial” was misspelled. This just confirms my suspicions that it’s a scam.

Me: “I would need it by Friday at the latest. I am attending an event that night that I originally ordered the dress for. If you can’t get it to me by then, I need a full refund and I want you to cancel my order.”

I never get a response from the company after that. I email them and send multiple messages on the chat, but they don’t contact me again. I end up having to run to a local store and buy a dress that is nowhere near as nice as I wanted for the event because the one from the major online retailer also did not come in time. I file a complaint with the scam company and request a refund on PayPal, and they email me saying that the company has contacted them with a message for me and that they don’t want to talk to me.

Company: “We’re sorry you didn’t get your product, but we are a company and we cannot deal with this.”

I ended up just letting the $30 go, and I’m grateful my family was okay with me being in a plain white dress instead of an off-white lace dress like I was supposed to be.

A lady comes in with a pair of shoes to return. I’m still pretty new at the job.

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return these shoes.”

I recognize the box as one of our shoeboxes but she approaches us at the folding table. Nevertheless, I try to help her.

Me: “Okay, was there something wrong with them?”

Customer: “No, I just want a different pair for my son.”

I open the box to see a pair of shoes I’ve never seen before, but they are the style we sell.

Me: “Well, I’m still pretty new here and I’m not 100% sure of our return and exchange policy, so I can’t guarantee that we can exchange these for you.”

Customer: “What?! But I called your corporation on the phone this morning before I came in and they said I could!”

Me: “Oh, well, if they said that you can, then you should have no problem. One of our sales associates in the back can help you get the shoes you want.”

My coworker and I went about our shift as normal, and then one of my managers approached us. She explained our return and exchange policy to us and then told me that the customer tried to tell her that I had practically forbidden her from trying to return the shoes. Luckily, my coworker had seen the whole thing and vouched for me, and my manager knew that I wouldn’t have made any decisions without asking her about it. But apparently, she had tried to get me fired because I was new and didn’t know our exchange policy.