All These Coupons Have Left Their Mark

, , , , | Right | June 13, 2018

(Our store has a credit card, and you get a coupon when you open one with us. It works on anything, but only for one day. A lady comes up to me with UGGs — almost always excluded from coupons — and this happens:)

Customer: “I’d like to buy these with my coupon, but if I need to return them, how can I get my coupon back?”

Me: “Well, none of the coupons we have available today work on UGGs, but if you’re referring to our rewards discounts, those are treated like cash for your card and would be refunded.”

Customer: “No, I have a coupon; it’ll work on anything, even makeup!”

Me: “I mean, if you show me your coupon I can try, but no promises.”

Customer: “It’ll work. I got it for opening up an account and never used it.”

(Sure enough, it is the old coupon for opening the account, so I give in and try.)

Me: “Okay, since this is for opening an account, it should work; I’ll try it and see.”

Customer: “It does work; I used it on another pair of UGGs before.”

Me: *pause* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: *catching her slip up* “Oh! I mean they sent me two… but, uh, if I return these, how will I get my discount back?

Me: “I can make a note on the receipt that if that’s the case that you’re to get the discount for that day, instead, since this is all you’re buying today, but I’ll still have to mark the coupon for use.”

Customer: “What? I don’t want them then, if you’re going to mark the coupon.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “No one’s ever marked it before.”

Me: *I stare at her as she now admits to using it before* “Well, they’re supposed to.”

Customer: “But they don’t, so you are?”

Me: “Well, yeah. I have to.”

Customer: *in a huff, grabbing the coupon from my hands* “Then I’m just going to come in another day!”

(Of course, the next day, when I wasn’t working, the shoes were sold.)

Found Out Accidentally

, , , , , | Friendly | June 12, 2018

(My daughter is friends with a guy that I can’t stand. I feel that he treats her badly, often ditching her at the last minute, and I strongly suspect that he is a liar. I know better than to forbid her from being friends with him, though; all I can hope is that she’ll eventually come to realize that he is a terrible person. One day, she comes home with this story.)

Daughter: “I was out having coffee with [Friend] and [Friend’s Brother]. I got onto Facebook on my phone, and there’s a whole bunch of messages on [Friend]’s wall, saying how awful it is that his brother got into a terrible accident.”

Me: “Doesn’t he only have one brother? The one that was having coffee with you?”

Daughter: “Yup.”

Me: “So… What’s all this about a terrible accident?”

Daughter: “I asked the same thing. [Brother] just sighed and said, ‘Yeah, [Friend] didn’t want to go to a party he’d been invited to, so he told everyone that I’d been in an accident and was in the hospital.’Then [Friend] started laughing his a** off and said, ‘Pretty smart, eh? That way, I don’t have to go to the party, and everyone is sorry for me! Someone even brought food to the house to make us feel better in our time of trouble!’”

Me: *horrified* “That’s unbelievable!”

Daughter: “Yeah. I think I was supposed to think it was funny, but all I could think of was all those friends who were feeling sorry for him, not knowing that he was laughing at them.”

(Then, she starts looking thoughtful.)

Daughter: “You know… there have been plenty of times when [Friend] and I had plans, and he’s called me at the last minute to say that he’s sick, or he slept in, or he forgot that he had plans with someone else. I’m starting to think that at least some of those excuses were lies, too.”

Me: “That’s possible, yeah.”

(Not long after that, she decided to stop being friends with the guy. Hallelujah.)

Eating For Two, Feeding For None

, , , , , , | Working | June 11, 2018

(I work with a woman who is a bit odd. One day, the entire department receives an e-mail from her:)

Email #1: “[Husband] and I have decided that it’s time to throw a party! Everyone is invited for [date]. As you might know, my brother is a gourmet chef, and he’s promised to cook a feast like you’ve never had before, so make sure you show up hungry!”

(I don’t like showing up at a party empty-handed, so I go to see her to ask if I can bring anything. Most of the other invitees do the same.)

Coworker: “No need; like I said, my brother will provide everything.”

(I notice that she looks slightly shifty when she says this, but I don’t think anything of it. Shortly after that, the entire department — except for the secretary — gets a second email from her.)

Email #2: “Psst… That first email was a ruse! This party is actually a bridal shower for [Secretary]. All the ladies are invited. See you then!”

(I have a very light lunch on the day of the shower and skip off to [Coworker]’s house, happily anticipating some gourmet goodies. There aren’t any. In fact, there is no food at all. It seems that the “my brother is going to cook a feast” bit was part of the ruse. [Coworker] doesn’t seem to realize that all of her guests, including the guest of honour, are hungry and grumpy. We all make excuses to leave early. I raid the fridge when I get home, much to my husband’s surprise.)

Husband: “What happened to your feast?”

Me: “Good question.”

(The following day, [Coworker] talked about how successful the party had been. She never noticed that all of us ladies were conspicuously silent.)

Played Them Like A Boss

, , , , , , | Working | June 11, 2018

(My church does live-streams of the services, so they have cameras and sound booths. I want to intern in there, but I know they won’t let me without experience. There are two supervisors with equal power, but they generally never keep things straight with each other. I tell [Boss #1] that [Boss #2] said I could be an intern and tell [Boss #2] that [Boss #1] said that I could. Two months later, I put on my headset before the service starts and I can pick up on a conversation in the other room because the bosses left the microphone on. I hear this gem of a conversation:)

Boss #1: “Wow, [My Name] is picking up on this fast!”

Boss #2: “Yeah, I’m glad you hired her!”

Boss #1: “I thought you did?”

(I never got in trouble, but the awkward silence afterwards was amazing.)

Dusting Off The Scum

, , , , , , | Working | June 10, 2018

When I left the military I decided to go for a complete change of pace while deciding the next direction I wanted to take my life. As a result, I ended up doing pizza delivery for local franchise of a national brand.

The particular location I ended up working at served a fairly small area and had been losing money for a few years, so it was scheduled for closure in another year or so, which I didn’t know at the time.

The manager of the store was rather worthless and did the bare minimum, if that, often disappearing for hours at a time during of his shift. Often he’d take pizzas coming out of the oven and just leave with them, leaving us to make new ones for the people that had actually ordered them.

One day, when I was primarily working in-store, I noticed him pocketing cash from an order after a customer left and cancelling out the order in system so the drawer wouldn’t show a discrepancy. I saw it a second time a bit later. Given the manager’s personality, I didn’t say anything to him, but resolved to tell the owner on his next visit, which happened later that day.

I told him what I saw and he was understandably upset, but said that unfortunately there probably wasn’t anything he’d be able to do legally without some sort of proof. To which I, confused, asked why he didn’t just check the security footage.

It turned out that the cameras hadn’t been working right for a few years and the owner never got them fixed, since this had never been a high-risk or high-income location. As he had come to decision to close it, it made even less sense to spend the money on it.

Now, there was a TV hooked up to the recording deck so that the cameras could be watched live in the office, but it was turned off. I had assumed it was only turned off unless a manager was actively watching it, but now knew it was because cameras weren’t working. However, on my second day, while cleaning, I had been dusting and shifted the recording deck more than I’d meant to and knocked a cable loose (I thought). So, when I had finished cleaning, I shifted it back, plugged in the wire, briefly turned on the TV to make sure I hadn’t messed anything up, then turned it back off and went on my way.

When I told the owner that the cameras were working when I did that check, he ran into the office and literally pushed the store manager out of the way as he turned on the TV. I followed the owner to the office and saw the store manager’s face turned deathly white when he saw all the camera feeds were active on the screen.

The owner shooed me out of the office and locked it while he reviewed the recordings. Police showed up an hour or two later.

Later, I found out that the manager had unplugged the camera cable not long after he started working there and had been using the store as his own bank for paying bills or buying himself stuff. He was also giving out free food to all his friends and ignoring long-time customers, which is why the store was failing. Also, in the just over a week that the cameras had been able to watch him, he had pocketed close to $2000 within sight of them, so he was arrested — I think for grand theft.

The assistant manager was promoted to manager, I became his #1 aid — not assistant manager, though, as I still didn’t plan on sticking around long-term — and together we went on a massive campaign to turn the store around. Within four months, it was the highest grossing store in that franchise, we had a solid crew, and we had arrangements with a number of hotels and local businesses that were helping us with driving in business.

I still left at the end of a year, but I had a great time being part of that effort. And it all came about because of a bit of dusting.

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