Sale Fail, Part 5

, , , | Right | September 15, 2019

(A customer puts a big bottle of whiskey on the counter. I ring it in.)

Me: “Okay, that will be $35.56.”

Customer: “It was supposed to be on sale for $25.” 

Me: “Well, I’m unaware of a sale on this item. Let me just ask my boss. [Boss]?”

Boss: *who was listening from a few feet away* “That brand isn’t on sale. It’s $35.”

Customer: “Can you check the shelf?”

(Boss obliges.)

Boss: “$35.”

Customer: “Fine.” *pays*

(After the customer left, my boss told me he saw them move a sale tag in front of the brand they wanted, and refused to give them a deal through dishonest means.)

Sale Fail, Part 4
Sale Fail, Part 3
Sale Fail, Part 2

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Defaulted To A Con

, , , , | Legal | September 12, 2019

(Someone knocks at the door, so I answer it. The guy standing there says:)

Guy: “Miss [Mispronunciation Of My Name]?” 

Me: “Who’s asking?”

Guy: “Sorry to have to tell you this, love, but your brother named you on a loan that he’s defaulted on. We’ve come to collect the goods up to the value of three thousand.”

Me: *extremely suspicious* “Well, I never signed any such thing, and I’m sure you won’t mind if I call the police and a solicitor, will you? Just to make sure everything’s above board?”

Guy: “No need to worry about that, love. How about we come in, get the stuff, and we’ll say no more about it?”

Me: *desperately thinking about makeshift weapons I could grab* “No. How about you stay out there, and I’ll call the police? If you’re legit, that won’t be a problem, will it?”

Guy: “Oh, well, never mind, love. We’ll see if there’s anything we can do.”

(They then went across the street. I called the non-emergency police number and gave a description of the guy and an explanation of what was going on. Three hours later, I got a call from the local police. They’d picked up a group of three going around trying to rip people off.)

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I Got 5000 Problems And You’re All Of Them

, , , , , | Working | September 11, 2019

(Our company does plans to show where a house will be built on the property. Naturally, these plans are given to the county for review and approval to help get a building permit. If a house is over 5,000 square feet of disturbance, then the county will treat it as major construction work and cause a host of other plans to be done. If the house is under 5,000 square feet, then the project is exempt from the other plans. Doing a house under 5,000 square feet is easier to get a permit for in both time and cost. A client is trying to build a house under the 5,000 square feet so he can sell it later on. We have worked with him and he hates the ones over 5,000 square feet. We do the plan and have come up with around 4,900 square feet of disturbance. He is happy and we have it submitted to the permit office. About two weeks later, we get an email from a county reviewer about the project. Comments happen all the time so this is not unexpected. A few are minor, but two catch our eye.)

Reviewer: “1. Make the driveway pad at the front into a square and revise the plan. 2. Submit a [document saying the house is a major plan for projects over 5,000 square feet].”

(I print the email off and deliver it to my boss, who worked on the plan.)

Boss: “This doesn’t seem right. Why does she want to make the driveway pad like that? There is no rule I can find saying she can do that. If we do what she wants, we will be over 5,000. You know [Client] is not going to like that.”

(My boss and I go through all the requirements for driveways and can’t find anything saying that we have to do that. My boss writes back a detailed message about why we won’t do that and asking what the requirement is that says we have to do that. A few days later, we get this message.)

Reviewer: “[Department Head] is requiring it. Please update the plans.”

(We have worked with [Department Head] before in the past and know him to be a reasonable person. We try to call the reviewer and all but one time we get an answering machine. The one time we get through, she says:)

Reviewer: “The message I sent you is enough.”

(We try to talk with [Department Head] directly, but he is extremely busy and typically out of the office. After sending messages and phone calls, we call his office to set up a meeting with him in person. Two weeks later, [Department Head], [Reviewer], my boss, and I meet at the department head’s office.)

Boss: “So, this is about [Project] that you reviewed.”

Department Head: “What project? I don’t recall any project like this.”

(This isn’t unusual; he is only second to the head of the whole agency, who is appointed by the county counsel, and has hundreds of jobs. My boss gives him the email with the original comments from the reviewer and shows him the plan.)

Department Head: “I don’t understand. This doesn’t appear to be any comment I made. These comments make no sense to me.”

(This is the first time my boss or I have heard of this.)

Me: *turning to reviewer* “So whose comments are these?”

Reviewer: “[Supervisor]. She is the one who requested it. I don’t know why we are in this meeting with [Department Head].”

(The supervisor and the department head are not even close to being mixed up. The supervisor is a blonde, 30-year-old woman who has a common name, while the department head is a black, 60-year-old man with a very uncommon name that is hard to pronounce.)

Me: “You said yourself for weeks that [Department Head] was the one asking for these comments.”

Reviewer: “I never said that.”

Me: “I have your email right here.” *passes it over to [Department Head]*

Reviewer: “That isn’t my email. You must have changed it.”

(The department head facepalms.)

Department Head: “Let me look at the comments.”

(He took a quick look at the comments and removed the comments about the driveway and forcing us to go over 5,000 square feet. The reviewer is still there, but every time we get her, she delays our jobs almost as a revenge for catching her in a lie.)

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Allergic To Common Sense, Part 16

, , , , | Right | September 11, 2019

(I’m having lunch at a small diner.)

Waiter: “Hello. What can I get you?”

Me: “I’ll have fries, a chocolate shake, and a burger. No pickles or onions, please.”

Waiter: “Are you allergic?”

Me: “No, I just don’t like onions and pickled food makes me gag.”

Waiter: “Are you sure?”

Me: “How often do you have people pretending to have allergies?”

Waiter: “Too often. I don’t get why people won’t just admit they don’t like something.”

Me: “From experience, they either think disliking and being allergic are the same thing or they believe that they’ll get their food faster.”

Waiter: “Yeah, as if we didn’t have to scrub everything and use separate utensils.”

Me: “And makes it harder for people with actual allergies. Anyway, about the food…”

Waiter: “Oh, right, sorry. Coming right up.”

(While I was waiting for my food, in the booth next to me, a father kept saying his kids were allergic to cheese. The kids insisted they weren’t. The guy’s wife returned from the restroom and slapped him over the head. It turns out he didn’t like the cheesy smell and gooey mess.)

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 15
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 14
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 13

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Call Ahead, Fall Behind

, , , , | Right | September 10, 2019

(Mother’s Day is by far the busiest day of the year for us. Last night, we already had 31 call-aheads — about 300 people. We do call-aheads and NOT reservations. The way call-aheads work is that the people call however long before they want to come in to eat, and the time they give us, like 6:30, is the time their wait begins if we are on a wait. The system has some algorithm, so if there’s an hour wait, a call-ahead may only wait twenty minutes, but they may wait longer depending on how busy we are and the size of their party, but either way they usually still have to wait a certain amount of time. Call-ahead just puts parties on a priority list and puts them before all walk-in parties. Mother’s Day we have a lot. The wait is about an hour and a half at this point, and a guy comes in to check in for his call-ahead. The first red flag is that she immediately begins with:)

Customer: “We had a reservation.”

(At our restaurant, we call that the “R-word.” We do NOT do reservations, and we are very careful about the word when we speak to customers.)

Me: “Hi! We have a call ahead for [Customer] for six people. I’ll give you this and it’ll be about thirty or so minutes.”

(I hand her a pager. She gives me a very confused look. Two other people are with her who don’t look confused but this lady is just dead confused.)

Customer: “Uh, actually, we had a reservation.”

Me: “[Restaurant] doesn’t do reservations, ma’am. We do call-ahead seating, so you still have a wait but it’s much less than everyone else. The regular wait right now is an hour and a half.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(She walks outside, which is normal for people waiting. Then, she comes back with her husband.)

Customer’s Husband: “We have a reservation. I called last night.”

Me: *explains the call-ahead system again, but he interrupts*

Customer’s Husband: “Yeah, no, I talked to a host last night on the phone and they said they do reservations.”

(I know full well there is no way a host would say that or let him think he was reserving a table. I actually remember him calling, as my closest host friend took his call and had trouble with him trying to book too large of a party so late, so he lessened the party and my friend put it in. There was no mention of a reservation.)

Me: “Yeah, I’m sorry, that should’ve been explained to you when you called, but we don’t do reservations. It is still a thirty-minute wait. As you can see, our wait is currently an hour and a half, so thirty minutes is much less.”

(He says again that he has a reservation. I’m getting annoyed as many people are behind him now waiting to get checked in.)

Me: “No, sir, you didn’t, because [Restaurant] doesn’t do reservations. There’s no way you could have.”

(He says it again.)

Me: “We don’t do reservations. So, no. You didn’t have one.”

(We do this for maybe five minutes. It’s amazing, honestly. I’ve been a host for two years so people don’t scare me anymore. I’m not sure what he thinks he will do by repeating it.)

Me: “Sir, I’m getting you a manager because you are holding up the line.”

(I got a manager. The same conversation happened. My host friend who’d taken their call explained to them and the manager what happened. The guy realized that she was the girl who’d taken their call and got extremely quiet for a bit. But he started up again, anyway. My manager ended up pushing them above everyone else and getting them a table immediately. Ridiculous. But I hope that fool realizes how stupid he is.)

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