I’m within my first few weeks of working at a large retailer as a cashier. Two women come to my till with a cart of groceries. I greet them and begin scanning.

Customer #1: “She has food stamps.”

Me: “Okay. Most of this will be covered by that, but that won’t be.”

I point to a cup of chicken poppers they are sharing.

Customer #2: “But it’s food.”

Me: “Yes, but food stamps have certain rules.”

Customer #1: “So, [Customer #2] can’t have a hot meal?”

Me: “That’s not—”

Customer #1: “It’s fine. Just do it.”

Me: “Okay.”

I scan everything and tell them the total. [Customer #2] swipes her food stamps card and the register takes off everything except, as I predicted, the $5 in chicken poppers she got from our deli. By now, they’re almost gone.

Me: “You still owe $5.”

Customer #2: “But I have food stamps.”

Me: “As I said, those poppers aren’t covered.”

Customer #2: “But it’s food. Food stamps cover food.”

Me: “There are rules for—”

Customer #1: “Get your manager.”

I page for the manager and, while we wait, the women shove the remaining chicken poppers in their mouths. When he arrives, the empty container is sitting by the PIN pad.

Manager: “How can I help?”

Me: *Pointing to the empty cup* “This—”

Customer #1: “[Customer #2] already used her food stamps. You can’t make us pay for an empty cup.”

Manager: “Hot foods are not covered on food stamps, and you already ate them so, yes, you have to pay.”

Customer #2: “But I used food stamps! Food stamps are for food!”

Customer #1: “She doesn’t have any other money!” *Louder* “Why does [Store] discriminate against the mentally handicapped?”

Manager: *Crossing his arms* “Pay the $5 or I’m calling the police.”

Customer #1: *Slaps a $5 bill on the conveyor belt* “I hope you enjoy Hell!”

Me: *Handing over the receipt with an extra cheerful voice* “Bye, ladies!”

Manager: “They pull that s*** all the time.”

Me: “Good to know.”

I work in a fast-casual restaurant that mostly serves soups, salads, and sandwiches. Only cold sandwiches by themselves come with pickles unless they are otherwise requested.

I see a ticket order for a hot sandwich, with a note that says, “No pickles, allergy.” Okay, easy enough. I can follow the allergy protocol. But then, I realize it’s the BBQ sandwich, and our BBQ sauce is vinegar-based, so I need to know if her pickle allergy is to the cucumber or the vinegar. I call the customer up to the counter. I’m not a manager, but my general manager is listening to this conversation while working in our drive-thru.

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. I see there’s a pickle allergy on your order?”

Customer: “Yes, your cashier said it doesn’t come with pickles, but all sandwiches have to have pickles and I’m just allergic.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. Just so you know, only our cold sandwiches come with pickles, and this is a hot sandwich. But I’ll do my best to have nothing with pickles touch your food. I do need to ask, though, is the allergy to cucumbers or vinegar?”

Customer: “Just to the whole pickle. It doesn’t matter what part. Just don’t get anything pickle near my food and it’ll be fine.”

Me: “Ma’am, if the problem is with vinegar, then I can no longer in good conscience make you this sandwich as it is, and neither can any of the staff, as our BBQ sauce is completely vinegar-based. So is the allergy to cucumbers or vinegar?”

Customer: “Just make my sandwich with everything on it the way it’s supposed to be and don’t give me a pickle! How hard is that?! I’m not allergic to them at all; I just hate pickle juice making my toasted sandwiches all soggy!”

Me: *Twitches* “I’ll have that ready for you in a minute.”

I turned around to make her food and internally screamed.

Related:
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 19
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 18
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 17
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 16
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 15

Customer: *Irate* “You’re charging $6.99 for [Brand] bacon?! They sell it at [Store] across the street for $3!”

Me: “Hold on a moment and I’ll call my manager.”

I pull out my phone and quickly Google the number for the store across the street and called them. Then, I come back to the customer.

Me: “I just called the store across the street and they told me they don’t even sell [Brand] bacon.”

You should have seen the look on her face.

I often go to a specific store to buy something. Let’s just say it’s bubblegum. They have a display with the different flavors behind the counter. The employee usually hands me the container so I can pick out what I want since it is different each time.

One day, I go to the store and ask the employee to see the display.

Employee: “No.”

I am startled and it takes me a second to realize what she said.

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Did the policy change?”

Employee: “No. Last time you were in here, you stole some of the products.”

Now I am really confused and I start getting angry because I have never stolen anything in my life.

Me: “That’s not true. How could I have stolen anything?”

Employee: “I watched you on video. You grabbed them then slipped them into the sleeve of your hoodie. I even showed it to my friends and they agreed with me.”

Me: “I absolutely did not. I demand to see your security tapes so I can prove it to you.”

Employee: “What date did you last come in?”

Me: “I don’t remember. Maybe a week and a half ago.”

Employee: “Well, if you don’t tell me the date, I can’t find the footage.”

Me: “So, let me get this straight. You were able to show it to all of your friends, but when I ask to see it, you don’t have it available?”

Employee: “Tell me the date and I can pull it.”

Me: “I don’t remember! We’re done here.”

I walked out of the store and never went back. How can you accuse a frequent customer of stealing but not have the proof for when they return?

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel] in [City]. This is [My Name]; how can I help you?

Guy: “Hey, I’m going through a divorce right now and have been staying there a lot. I want the cheapest room that you can get me for the next two nights, but I will probably end up staying for about a month.”

Me: “Okay. What is the name that you have stayed under in the past?”

He tells me.

Me: “All right. I have your profile pulled up here. With your rewards, membership you should qualify for a discount that will bring the rate down to $88 before tax, about $101 after tax per night.”

Guest: “I’ve always paid $70 when I’ve stayed there in the past. I know you can do lower.”

Me: “All right, give me a second to check on something.”

I search for past reservations under his profile for the past three years and go through the prices on each.

Me: “It looks like the lowest rate we’ve given you in the past three years was when you stayed with us from [date #1] to [date #2], and the rate we gave you then was $85 dollars before tax, $96 after tax.”

Guest: “Well, I’m going through a divorce and I have paid more than I should have to qualify for a bigger discount. Give me the best possible rate you can.”

Me: “The lowest I can go would be the $84.96 rate that we gave you last time.”

Guest: “Okay, fine. I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes.”

I get that you’re PROBABLY going through a divorce right now, but don’t just straight-up lie to me about the rate that we have given you in the past when I can literally just take a minute to look it up. I’m less willing to work with people who demand rates and lie to me.