I’m sitting in a booth in a fast food restaurant. I’ve seen the young couple next to me complain about everything, lie about what they ordered, and before they even finished, make a mess with their food, like a pig eating out of a trough.

The worker comes to their table again, clearly back from one of their errands.

Worker: “Here is your drink. Apologies for that, I—”

Male Customer: *Thrusting a half-eaten container of chips at him* “These are cold!”

Worker: “I made those ones fresh just for you after you asked for unsalted ones.”

Female Customer: “He said they were cold! You should replace them. And my Coke had too much ice! Make me a new one!”

Worker: “I’ll just get a manager for you.” *Leaves*

Male Customer: “We will have a whole ‘nother meal at this rate.” *Laughs*

Female Customer: “Do you think we can get a free—”

Manager: “I understand there is some sort of problem?”

Male Customer: “Yes, this whole meal was wrong, it was cold, and it took too long. We want a refund.”

Manager: “Nope.”

Female Customer: “The customer is always right!”

Manager: “Normally, yes, but in your case, I’m willing to make an exception!”

Male Customer: “But… but we will complain.”

Manager: “You already are.”

Female Customer: “To corporate, smarta**.”

Manager: “Of course, you are free to do so, but I doubt it will get very far. I would invite you to finish your food and leave.”

He got back to work and left the couple speechless. I’m not sure if he was the best fast food manager I’ve seen or one working his notice, but it was the single greatest thing I’ve seen in a restaurant.

I’ve been doing contact center work for a few years now. I’m now at my third center where I plan on staying for the foreseeable future. I know everybody has that call that they will never forget due to the caller’s utter stupidity. Let me tell you about my favorite one.

I had just started at this contact center and just went live on the production floor for a brand-new department at this facility. It was a MAJOR tech company that happened to have gift cards for their mobile store. One of the main call types we took was regarding scams.

I got this call in February.

Me: “Thanks for calling [Company] support. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I’ve just been scammed into purchasing hundreds of dollars in gift cards, and I want a refund.”

Me: “Okay, sir. I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been scammed. Can you please tell me about what happened?”

Customer: “I got a message on Facebook from Ellen DeGeneres telling me I won her holiday sweepstakes and I just had to pay for shipping. She told me to go to the store and buy $100 in gift cards and give her the code. A couple of days later, she messaged me again and told me that there were shipping problems due to an accident with the driver and delivery vehicle, and I had to pay for additional shipping to get the items shipped through another carrier.”

Me: “Okay, so, how much did you have to pay for additional shipping?”

Customer: “$200 in gift cards, and I gave her the codes. She arranged for them to be shipped by [Shipping Company], and then the [Shipping Company] van was robbed at gunpoint and the driver was hospitalized. So, she made me buy more gift cards to pay for the van damages and the driver’s medical expenses since my items were the only ones being shipped in that vehicle. She made special arrangements to have my items shipped due to the inconvenience with the first delivery.”

Me: “Oh, my goodness. I’m so sorry about your $300. Is that all that you were scammed out of?”

Customer: “No, I also had to pay for [Shipping Company] to relocate my shipment, but it never arrived, and Ellen won’t message me back. I just want a refund for these gift cards.”

At this point, I was just in utter disbelief. I wanted to laugh because it’s comical that somebody would think a famous celebrity would inform them of winning a sweepstakes via Facebook message or that the customer is responsible for medical expenses and vehicle repair of a delivery company. But I was actually just sad for the man. He was older, and he said he lived on a fixed income and that was his bill money; he was expecting the money from Ellen to help pay everything.

I think about him often. I hope he’s okay.

A customer came into the clothing store where I work and gave me a credit card at the register that had been cut in half and then taped back together.

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

She freaked out.

Customer: “I left my wallet in the car! I have to go get it.”

She grabbed the card and split.

A few minutes later, another customer came up to me and handed me the same broken card, saying he found it near the exit.

My job has a rule where you can’t buy over $500 in gift cards. A customer tries to buy $1,000.

Me: “I’m sorry, but our policy is that you can’t purchase more than $500 in gift cards. However, you can do two separate orders of $500.”

They refused, and they also wouldn’t go to guest services for help getting change, either. I’m 100% sure they were holding counterfeit money and wanted to get the gift cards using it, and that’s why they wouldn’t go there to get the change instead.

When I worked in a pub, this young lad came to the bar and asked for a pint and a few bottles of alcopops. I poured the pint first, placed it in front of him, and then went to get the bottles.

While I had my back turned, he picked the pint up, put it on the floor, and then had the nerve to say:

Customer: “You forgot my pint!”

Me: “There’s a camera just up there watching over everything that happens behind this bar. Smile!”

He then sheepishly picked the pint up off the floor. His face was a picture!