Capitalism: The Charity Loophole

, , , , , | Right | January 28, 2018

(I work in the outlet store for a very popular clothing brand. We have just started a donation drive for a local charity, and as it is the first time we’ve ever done this, we are still working through some of the issues with it. The way we are raising money is by offering a ten-dollar discount whenever a customer makes a donation of any amount. We have one couple on the first day of donations who realizes that if they buy a ten dollar shirt and donate a dollar it will essentially only cost them a dollar. After realizing, this they come back several times, all to different cashiers, before we catch on. For this reason, we have decided to limit the number of discounts to two per person. The following exchange takes place the next day.)

Coworker: *over walkie* “Hey, I think the same couple who bought all those shirts yesterday is in here again.”

Manager: “Really? Are you sure?”

Coworker: “Yeah. They’re literally wearing the exact same outfits as yesterday. And they brought friends this time.”

Manager: “Okay. Just keep an eye out when they come up to the register, and don’t let them do more than two transactions.”

(About half an hour later, they end up at my register with arms full of clothing.)

Customer #1: “Hi. I’d like to ring all of these items up separately and put a donation on each.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but we are actually only allowed to let each person do two transactions a piece.”

Customer #1: “Really? I was in here yesterday and I was able to do more than that.”

Me: “Yes. Unfortunately, we had too many people abusing our donation system, and we are no longer allowed to split transactions in order to add the discounts.”

(The group of customers then spends several minutes trying to convince me otherwise but eventually leaves to regroup. When they come back, all four of them line up separately with two items a piece, and I end up ringing them out again. Although they still continue to argue with me about the two-transaction rule, they eventually pay for their purchases and leave. About two hours later, the two women from the group return, giggling, thinking we won’t remember them. They eventually end up back in line, and I time it out so that they end up with me as their cashier again.)

Customer #2: *as I begin ringing all of their items together* “Oh, no. I want you to ring up each item separately, and add a dollar donation to each.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you’ve already used your two donation discounts for the day.”

Customer #2: *dumbfounded that I actually remembered them* “Oh. I wasn’t aware that was how it worked. I don’t want any of it, then.”

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A Back-Breaking Need For Attention

, , , , , , , | Related | January 28, 2018

(My mother-in-law has always been an attention-seeker, to the point that she has let her health fail, and she has intentionally fallen over or injured herself just to get people to notice her. We mostly ignore it, because we have gotten used to her antics. We have gathered up for Christmas to swap presents. At first, we were going to gather at my brother-in-law’s house, but since my mother-in-law threw such a fit, it got switched to her tiny house. As a result, there are ten of us crammed in this small living room with only a few seats, while the rest of us stand. My brother-in-law opens a present from his wife, which turns out to be a sonogram picture. Everyone jumps in on the hugs and congratulations immediately, except for my mother-in-law, who I notice slides out of her chair, braces herself on the floor, and then flops to her back.)

Mother-In-Law: *screaming* “I fell! I fell out of my chair! Oh, my back, it hurts!”

(Everyone immediately rushes to help her, except for my husband and me. He also noticed her intentionally slide onto the ground. He goes to check on her back.)

Husband: *barely touching her back* “Does it hurt here?”

Mother-In-Law: “Yes! Ow, yes! It does!”

Husband: “Here?”

Mother-In-Law: “Yes, it hurts all over! I need you to call me an ambulance.”

Husband: *not even touching her now* “What about here?”

Mother-In-Law: “Ow, yes! Stop doing that; it hurts.”

Husband: “I didn’t even touch you that time, Mom.”

(She claimed that it hurt so bad, she couldn’t tell whether he touched her or not. Either way, people clued in on what she did and had very little sympathy for her antics.)

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This Customer Isn’t As Sharp As The Average Razor

, , , , , , | Right | January 25, 2018

(I’m working with my manager one day, when a customer comes in with a bag of shaving supply items that he purchased two months ago. We don’t accept returns on items over 15 days, but he won’t leave the store.)

Manager: “Go ahead and do a return. Just make sure the items haven’t been used; the shaving stand should be fine, though.”

Customer: “What do you mean? What if I tried the razor and didn’t like it?”

Me: “We wouldn’t be able to return it because of hygiene concerns.”

Customer: “But I only used the effing thing three times! You can resell them!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t take back or resell shaving items that have been used. It’s like with underwear; we wouldn’t be allowed to take back used underwear, because it’s gross.”

(After he argued with me, we found out he used every item he had purchased, and the shaving stand was broken, so we couldn’t return that, either. He left the store and came back the next day with the same items, hoping I wasn’t in, so he could return them.)

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Incompetence Calling On Line One

, , , , | Right | January 24, 2018

(My awesome boss is a very butch lesbian who’s very open about her sexuality and has a gender-neutral name. Our office helps students deal with their accounts. On our website’s “contact us” section, our office number is listed under my boss’s name without her title. Here’s how a third of our calls go:)

Caller: “Can I speak with Mr. [Boss]?”

Me: “Maybe I could help you instead. What are you having issues with?”

Caller: “I want to talk to Mr. [Boss]. I know him personally.”

Me: “She’s working on a project right now. Maybe if you tell me the problem, I can help you.”

(Most people will give in and let me or a coworker help them, but some persist.)

Caller: “I need to talk to [Boss]. If you don’t get him now, I’ll tell him later how incompetent you are.”

Me: *sigh* “Can I have your name and student ID?”

(The caller gives me the info.)

Me: “All right, I’m directing you to her line.”


Boss: “Hey, [My Name], why did you forward [Caller] to me? He couldn’t figure out how to submit the financial aid app.”

Me: *internal groaning*

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And She Would Have Gotten Away With It, Too…

, , , , , | Right | January 22, 2018

(I am a cashier in a popular toy store around the holiday season. One of my coworkers neglects to give a customer two of her many bags, since we often have to place items behind the counter as we bag due to the limited amount of space we have at the register. The customer’s name is written with the bags, and she returns the next day to pick them up.)

Me: “I was told what happened, and I’m very sorry for the inconvenience.”

(The customer seems content with the apology as I hand her the items, but she becomes dismayed as she gives the items a cursory glance.)

Customer: “Where’s my Scooby-Doo mobile?”

Me: “It’s not included in the bags?”

Customer: “No, it’s not in here!”

Me: “Someone may have found it in a bag separate from the others and returned it to the shelf. Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “No. But I bought it yesterday.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t give the item to you if I’m not positive that you bought it with your previous purchase. Let me get my supervisor.”

(The customer grows more and more upset as my supervisor and I discuss what should be done. We’re an express version of this toy store and have very little in-house authority. My supervisor steps away to make a call to headquarters to ask what can be done, as she lacks the authority to give anything away without permission.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I drove all the way back here from [Different County, over an hour away]. This is taking too long. I’ll just buy another one. I can’t believe this.”

(The customer continues to complain while buying another of the missing item. She quickly leaves right before my supervisor returns.)

Supervisor: “Where’d she go? I finally got in touch with corporate and they said we could give her a new one for free.”

Me: “She bought another one, which I’m guessing she was willing to do because she hadn’t actually bought the first one.”

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