An Apple A Day Keeps The Scammer Away

, , , | Working | October 11, 2017

Scammer: *on the phone* “Hello, I am [Name] from Microsoft Support. Unfortunately, we have received a report of your computer being infected and will need to fix it right away. Are you close to your computer?”

Me: “I am now.”

Scammer: *on the phone* “Is it on?”

Me: “Hold on. I’ll start it up.”

(I put the phone close to my iMac computer and turn it on. It makes the famous Apple start-up noise.)

Scammer: *click*

1 Thumbs
480

Inn-Experienced

, , , | Right | December 1, 2009

Me: “Hello, [Hotel Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I need to cancel my reservation for tonight.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we require 24-hour notice for all cancellations.”

Customer: “Well it’s an emergency! My daughter got sick and we had to stay home!”

(I glance down at the caller ID and see that this phone call is coming from a competing hotel across town.)

Me: “Okay, sir. I’ll cancel it for you due to this emergency situation.”

(Ten minutes pass, and I call the other hotel and ask to be connected to the guy’s room.)

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello, sir, this is [My Name] from [Hotel]. I just wanted to call you back with your cancellation number and to wish your daughter a speedy recovery.”

Customer: *stammering* “How did you get this number? Are you following me?!”

1 Thumbs
4,163

Zombies Need High Speed Internet Too

, , , , , | Right | August 25, 2009

Caller: “When is my DSL install going to be done?”

Me: “In two days, sir.”

Caller: “My wife and children just died in a car accident yesterday. I need the Internet sooner than that.”

Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that. I will provide you a complimentary dial-up account until your DSL is installed.”

Caller: “But dial-up is too slow… cancel my order!”

Me: “Sir, if I cancel your order and you wish to schedule service again later, there is a three-week wait.”

Caller: “I don’t care! Do it!”

(The next day, the same customer calls back.)

Caller: “Hi, I need to know when my DSL is being installed.”

Me: “Sir, you canceled your order yesterday. Would you like me to reschedule it?”

Caller: “Yes, but I’m not waiting weeks for it, my wife is divorcing me and my kids need it for school.”

Me: “I’m glad to hear that your wife and children have recovered from the fatal car accident.”

Caller: *silence* “So… can I still get the dial-up until my DSL is installed?”

Me: “Absolutely!”

1 Thumbs
6,437

One Loses His Allowance, The Other His Immortal Soul

, , , , | Right | June 22, 2008

(I am in high school working at a dollar store. It’s a small town so Sundays are usually busy after church services. This man, his wife, and his young son are in line.)

Me: “That will be $25.30.”

Customer: “I’ve only got $15… We gave $20 at the offering today. You think you could give me a break?”

Customer’s Young Son: *innocently* “We didn’t give any money at church today.”

1 Thumbs
3,111