Unfiltered Story #157514

, , , | Unfiltered | July 9, 2019

(I am at a reptile exhibit with my younger sister. We are looking into buying a chameleon from a breeder here, as their reptiles tend to be healthier from the ones sold at pet stores. We have wondered over to a snake cage where the breeder is sitting close by.)

Sister: Oh! I want to hold that huge snake!

Me: Careful it might bight off a finger!

(The breeder has been listening in and holds up a hand, missing two fingers.)

Breeder: It just might.

Unfiltered Story #155544

, , , | Unfiltered | June 26, 2019

A pretty rowdy mother-daughter duo comes in and is making their way through the store. They look at various things but haven’t picked anything up, so I go over to see if I can help them.

Me: “Hello, can I help ypu find anything today?”
Daughter, looking at a dress: “I really hate this store.”
Me: “Um… okay…”
Daughter: “None of this is my style. I think it’s all ugly.”
Mom: “Oh my god, right? Who would wear this crap?”
I walk off without saying anything. Despite their previous statements, ten minutes later they are still walking around the store, loudly complaining about our clothing/merchandise.
Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to please be a little quieter.”
Daughter: “Do you like the stuff in here?”
Me: “Well, I work here. so yes, I do.”
Daughter, with a smirk: “Oh, so you have to say that? It’s okay honey, I know you think the clothes are ugly too.”
Me: *looks down at my outfit, purchased entirely from this store, and looks back up at her* Actually, I work here because I love pur clothes.
Daughter: “Oh. Well, none of it is my style, I wouldn’t wear any of this.”
Me: “Then with all due respect, ma’am, why the hell are you still shopping in a store where you don’t like any of the clothes?”
The daughter has the nerve to look shocked, then grabs her mom and books it out of the store. Several customers are laughing, and my manager gives me a high five on my way to the back.

Unfiltered Story #136335

, , , | Unfiltered | January 10, 2019

(This happens almost every weekday around 5 a.m. This particular customer has a slight accent, but can speak English fluently.)

Customer: “I need $10 on pump five, please. Regular.” *holds out a $100 bill*

Me: “Sorry, sir, but I can’t make change for that right now. Do you have anything smaller or a card to pay with?”

Customer: *greatly exaggerates his accent* “Me…need…gas.” *holds out $100 bill again.*

Me: “I can’t accept that. You need to pay another way.”

Customer: “You b*tch. I’m never coming back here.” *walks out.*

Technicolor Pachyderms Is Really Too Much For Me

, , , , , , | Friendly | December 31, 2018

(I’m staying overnight at a friend’s house. I just woke up, but he’s still asleep, so I’m flipping through the channels on his TV when I see that “Dumbo” is on. It’s near the pink elephants sequence, a scene that I know my friend hates, so when it comes on, I decide to crank up to volume to see if I can get a reaction out of him. Much to my disappointment, he doesn’t respond. About an hour later, he wakes up.)

Friend: “Dude, I had a bunch of weird dreams last night.”

Me: “Um… did any of them have anything to do with the pink elephants scene from Dumbo?”

Friend: “Yeah! That was the main one. How did you know?”

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You Should Have Waited For Me!

, , , , | Right | December 15, 2018

(This is in mid-January. An older man approaches me at the circulation desk.)

Customer: “Do you have tax forms here?”

Me: “I don’t think so; we normally don’t get those until later in the month.”

Customer: “Well, I called and talked to someone who said you do.”

Me: “If we have any, they’ll be on the counter in the computer area, but I didn’t notice any when I was back there earlier.”

Customer: “Well, I’ll go take a look.” *leaves and comes back a few minutes later* “They’re not back there. Why would somebody tell me you had them here when you don’t?”

Me: “Do you know who you spoke with? When did you call?”

Customer: “I don’t remember; it was about ten months ago.”

Me: “Well, sir, in that case, they would have been talking about last year’s forms. If you called ten months ago, that would have been March of last year, so we would have had last year’s forms out. We haven’t received the forms for this year yet.”

Customer: “But why would they tell me you had them, and then when I come in you don’t have them? That’s a waste of my time!”

Me: “When you called, we did have them, for last year. But the forms are different each year; we haven’t received the ones for this year yet.”

Customer: “I still don’t understand why someone would say you have the forms when you don’t have them. I called and they told me you have the forms, and now when I come in, you don’t have them. This has just been a big waste of my time.”

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