The Only Boob In Here Is You

, , , , , , , | Friendly | August 29, 2018

A group of us got together to form a nudist club, and we would rent out the hot-tub suite of the local leisure centre for an hour or two on weekly basis. People who were using the suite before the hour we rented were naturally expected to leave before our rented hour.

This, of course, did not always happen. The worst instance of liberty-taking was when a middle-aged man from a culture where nudism is a shocking concept deliberately spent a long time showering, changing, and preparing to exit the suite, to such an extent that it was a good ten minutes into our rented time.

I, along with the other coordinator of this weekly event, approached this man a few times, explaining to him that he was encroaching into our time, and the members of the club wanted him either to leave immediately, or to pay his subscription and disrobe. Of course, he had no intention of doing so; he just wanted to hang around on the off chance that he could see naked women.

In the end, the aforementioned coordinator and I just undressed, and approached him again, naked this time. Nobody else had done so; it was just we two men. This time, the embarrassment of being made to interact with two naked men, and the increasingly remote prospect of cheap thrills on offer at the sight of bare breasts and women’s lady parts, was too much for him, and the slimy old toad left.

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Unfiltered Story #116233

, , , | Unfiltered | July 6, 2018

I was Lifeguarding today and had this question…

Customer: ‘How fast is your slide?’

Unfiltered Story #87839

, | Unfiltered | June 1, 2017

I work as a Lifeguard and was cleaning the cubicles ready for the evening length swim. I had taken all mats out, put cleaner on the floor and had the wet vac out ready. We put a sign out telling customers that we are cleaning and could they please use the other cubicles.

A customer gets out of the pool with her two children and starts to go into one of the cubicles I am cleaning.

Me: Hi, sorry, but I am cleaning these so if you don’t mind could you go to the other cubicles.

Child of customer: But we can get changed in here right?

Me: Um, no. I am cleaning these. You need to go down to the other cubicles.

Mother, looking at me with evils: What! The ones that drip!

Me: Yeah, sorry, but these have cleaning chemicals on the floor and I wouldn’t want your children walking in them.

Mother: just looked at me as if she hated me so I said meekly ‘I have cleaned the one at the end so go in there’.

She went in there and then proceeded to call her husband to tell him what had happened. He came storming in ready to have a go. I think he got there and realised that she was a going a bit overboard. The outcome was that I couldn’t finish cleaning the cubicles so everybody who came in for the evening session had to use the drippy cubicles because of her.

PS Her husband always looks slightly embarrassed when he comes in now.

Pooling All Their Resources

| Right | May 22, 2016

Customer: *looking through the doors at the pool* “Is that your pool?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Do you have another one?”

Me: “No.”

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