Seven Years Bad Shopping Luck

, , , , , , | Working | January 30, 2018

(My mom and teenage sister are shopping at the mall. On the way out of a high-end store, the security alarm goes off and a loss prevention officer stops them. He makes them both walk through, one at a time, and my sister sets the alarm off.)

Mom: *looking at my sister with disappointment* “[Sister], you didn’t!”

Sister: “I didn’t take anything; I swear!”

(The officer makes her empty all of her pockets, which are, of course, empty, because she really didn’t take anything. He then has a sudden hunch, asks her to take her coat off, and then throws the coat through the sensors. The alarm goes off.)

Officer: “The good news is that I believe you. The bad news is that whoever sold you this coat is an idiot, because they never turned off the anti-theft device.”

(He was right. Apparently, they never turned off the device, and it took seven years of wearing that coat before anyone even noticed. Fortunately, the store was able to deactivate it for her so it didn’t happen again.)

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That Transformed Into Something Wonderful

, , , , , , | Friendly | August 29, 2017

(I’m walking my dogs past a little boy and his mother at the park. I notice the boy’s eyes light up when he sees me, and at first I think it’s because he wants to pet my dogs, but then I realize he has the same exact cartoon character on his shirt as I do.)

Boy: “Mommy, she likes Optimus Prime, too! Can I marry her?”

(His mother was mortified, but I thought it was both adorable and hilarious.)

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