Maintain This Holding Position

, , , , | Working | September 3, 2017

(I used to work in a call center, and I know that one tactic the lower-quality employees use is to put upset customers on an extended hold until they hang up, rather than allow it to go to their supervisors. I am at the end of a call that, while I have finally managed to get my original issue resolved, has created a secondary issue that requires me to speak to a supervisor. After I tell the customer service representative on the line that I want to speak to a supervisor, he puts me on hold for five minutes.)

Customer Service Rep: “Unfortunately, all of my supervisors are busy, and I don’t know when they will get around to helping you. And seeing as I did resolve your issue today…”

Me: “I used to work in a call center, and I understand a bit about how they work. Do they track your metrics?”

Customer Service Rep: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Your metrics… Do they track how long you are on calls with customers, and how long you have them on hold?”

Customer Service Rep: “Yes, ma’am…”

Me: “Okay, so, go ahead and put me on hold until you can get me a supervisor.”

Customer Service Rep: “All of my supervisors are busy at the moment, and I don’t know when one will be available, and since I did resolve your concern…”

Me: “Don’t worry about how long the wait will inconvenience me; I have all night…”

(I was put on hold for maybe a minute before I had a supervisor.)

Too Entitled To Slip

, , , , | Right | September 2, 2017

(This takes place not long after my shift, in the car park. It has been snowing quite a bit, but the trolley bays are under cover and the walkways and “roads” salted. I am walking to where my mum normally picks me up if the weather’s been bad, when I witness a customer drag his trolley to an empty parking space and leave it there.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, but that’s a car parking space. Could you please take your trolley to one of the trolley bays?”

Customer: “But I might slip.”

Me: “The trolley bays are under cover, and that’s a parking space; you’re preventing other customers from parking, and making our porters’ jobs more difficult.”

Customer: “But I might slip.”

(The customer then walked off to his car and drove away. Since it was freezing and my mum hadn’t arrived yet, I took pity on the porters and pulled his trolley and a few others over to the trolley bays. I didn’t slip once.)

Karma Can Make Change

, , , , , , | Working | September 1, 2017

I’m the customer in this story. I frequently stopped at a popular fast food place very early in the morning for coffee on my way to work. I guess this was about the time that the night shift was ending/shift change. Every single morning I paid with bills; no debit at this establishment. The same woman working the drive through window gave me back a ton of small change (dimes, nickels, and pennies) EVERY SINGLE TIME, and refused to give me larger change when I asked.

At one point, I decided to go into the restaurant and ask why this was happening every morning, and I saw the woman taking her cash tray to the back to count it, and presumably clock out.

I asked the man behind the counter about it, and he kind of rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah, sorry about that. She likes to get rid of all her change so that it’s faster for her to get out of here at the end of her shift. I can trade that change for you if you like. You’re not the only person I’ve had to do this for.” I told him not to worry about it, and left.

I waited until the end of the week (right before a long weekend), and I decided to go through the drive through again, this time treating my coworkers to coffee and donuts, as well as purchasing a $50 gift card, for a total around $70. As it was so early in the morning, there were never customers in line behind me.

When I pulled up to the cash window, there was the woman who always gave me the small change. She told me the total and I handed her a large plastic bag of small change ($80). She looked pissed and said that she didn’t have to accept it. The manager heard her yelling and came over. He told me that they had a policy against accepting so much change.

I explained the situation to him, he turned around, and I could hear him talking with another employee. I heard the employee tell him she was sick of people coming in and asking to have their change traded, and that it happened all the time.

The manager asked me to pull ahead to the designated waiting spot while she counted my change out. I could see how furious she was, but she wouldn’t make eye contact.

Suffice it to say, she never gave me $18 worth of small change again.

Watch Your Career Go Up In Smoke

, , , , | Working | August 31, 2017

(The first shift for a new hire is always spent one-on-one with a manager, training. I’m working with one new hire, and we are a little over an hour into his first training shift.)

New Employee: “Hey, I’m going to grab a break.”

Me: “I don’t have you scheduled for a break for another hour.”

New Employee: “But I’m already overdue for my first break!”

Me: “Your first break? You are only scheduled for four hours. You only get one twenty minute paid break.”

New Employee: “The law says I get more than that!”

Me: “No, that’s actually more than we have to give you legally.”

New Employee: “But I’m a smoker! I get smoke breaks.”

Me: “You only get the one break.”

New Employee: “You’re probably too young to remember. Back when George W. was in office, he signed a law. Said you have to give smokers a break every hour.”

Me: “Uh, no.”

New Employee: “No, seriously you’re breaking the law. I could have you arrested.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll send an email to HR about this, but for now we will go by my break schedule.”

(I sent an email to HR, CC’ing the employee. I know the HR person, so I got a rather confused text on my phone asking if the employee was serious. I said he was. She sent me and the employee a dry response, saying that smokers are not a protected class, and copying the employee manual on break policy. However, if he could provide proof that smoke breaks are legally required, they would reconsider. A month later, I fired the employee after he set off the smoke detector while trying to sneak a cigarette in the employee bathroom while on shift. He still claimed those smoke breaks were his legal right!)

It’s A Revolution In BSing

, , , , | Learning | August 28, 2017

(My senior year I am in AP US history. Our teacher likes to offer different ways to earn grades in addition to traditional papers and tests. We often have a “debate” of sorts. It is more of a discussion that we are graded on based on how we contribute and participate. We aren’t allowed to use our materials during the discussion, making preparation very important to our grades. This particular day I get to class and realize I have forgotten about the debate completely.)

Me: “Oh… oh, no.”

Friend: “Did you not prepare?!”

Me: “…maybe?”

Friend: “Oh, my god. You’d better cram! I spent, like, four hours total preparing for this!”

(I quickly do my best to review the topic, which has something to do with US involvement in foreign countries. I skim the provided materials and the textbook section that covers the topic. The teacher then has us put everything away and the debate starts. Eventually I catch on to how the discussion is going and manage to contribute here and there, totally BSing it and saying whatever I think will work towards either side of the discussion. This is basically all I say:)

Me: “But what if we had given up like that during the Revolutionary War?”

(My classmates continue to debate.)

Me: “Again, what if the colonists had just accepted British rule?! That’s not the American spirit!”

(More discussion.)

Me: “So you’re saying that it’s not worth fighting for? What if the French hadn’t come to our aid in the American Revolution, huh? Where would we be now!”

(I continued to say a variation of this, adding different comments along with it, for the duration of class. I sounded ridiculous, and I assumed everyone had noticed my lack of preparation. Afterwards, my teacher catches me as I’m heading out the door.)

Teacher: “[My Name]! Wait, I just wanted to say I was really impressed with your participation in class today. I could tell you really spent time preparing and I am proud of your efforts. You got a really good grade.”

Friend: *after teacher was out of earshot* “ARE YOU SERIOUS!? How… I… You’re insane. That’s just… I hate you!”

Me: “Please, you know you love my amazing BS skills.”

Page 97/104First...9596979899...Last