How To Be A Stain In The Neck

, , , , , , | Right | January 19, 2018

(I always go to one particular local dry cleaner, because it’s run by an older lady with an amazing personality, and I often get into hilarious conversations with her when I drop off clothes. This is a story she relates to me about some of her other customers.)

Customer: *over the phone* “Yes, hello. How do I get this stain out of my shirt?”

Cleaner: “Well, if you bring the shirt in, I would be happy to clean it for you.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I don’t need you bring it in; it’s just the one stain, so you can just tell me how to clean it.”

Cleaner: *thinking, “that’s not how a dry cleaner works”* “Okay, I’ll try… What kind of fabric is the shirt?”

Customer: *impatient sigh* “It’s my favorite dress shirt!”

Cleaner: “Uh, okay… What kind of stain is it?”

Customer: “You’re supposed to be the expert, here! Why can’t you tell me anything?!”

Cleaner: “I just need to know—”

Customer: “No! I’m the one asking the questions, here! What is your problem?!”

Cleaner: “The problem is that I just don’t know how you expect me to see your shirt down the phone. Good luck with your stain!”

Very Bad Reception, Part 21

, , , , | Healthy | January 18, 2018

(There is a small medical clinic where I live. Usually, for walk-in patients, you get to the door very early, wait until they open it, then head for the desk, where you are assigned an appointment time for the day depending on the order of arrival. Usually, people behave and do not jump forward. Rarely, but sometimes, the clinic isn’t full, and going in mid-morning, you might still get a spot. It’s about 11, and I feel I might have a feminine infection. I stop by the clinic to see if there’s room.)

Secretary: “I’m sorry. There’s a new phone system in place. Now you have to call in the morning and leave your name and phone number. Someone will call you back with the time of your appointment.”

Me: “Well, I’m right here. Can’t you just give me a time?”

Secretary: “No, you have to call.”

Me: “Okay, fine.”

(I make two steps to the side, pick up my cellphone, take the card she gave me with the phone number, and start dialing. The secretary looks at me.)

Secretary: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Calling for an appointment. You said I absolutely had to call.”

Secretary: “Ugh… Okay, I’ll give you one.”

(I believe she suddenly realized that I would have left my info on the answering machine, that she would have listen to it, then call me back with the time, all while I was standing in front of her.)

Very Bad Reception, Part 20
Very Bad Reception, Part 19
Very Bad Reception, Part 18

Any Caption Added To This Situation Won’t Be A Good One

, , , | Working | January 18, 2018

(I work for a closed-captioning company. The vast majority of our captioners work remotely from home, so we communicate with them primarily via phone. For many programs, the client likes to do a captions test — sending out a few practice lines — before the actual show starts, so that we know everything is running smoothly and that captions will appear at the start of the program. On this particular day, a client, who is known for calling rather early to test, calls a full 29 minutes before their scheduled show, which is VERY early. I’m not entirely sure my captioner will be ready to test yet, so I call her.)

Me: “Hi, [Captioner], it’s [My Name]. I know it’s still quite early, but [Client] has called to test for [Scheduled Program]. Are you ready to go now, or do you need a few minutes?

Captioner: “I still need a few minutes.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. I’ll let them know. Just give us a call back when you’re all set.”

(I inform the client that the captioner still needs several minutes to set up. They are agreeable about it, and we hang up. Almost 15 minutes goes by. The client has called again and spoken to another coworker to see if we are ready, and I still have not heard from my captioner. The coworker who took the call has managed to stall our client, but I am getting concerned, as they are an important client and can be very particular about tests. Additionally, my captioner has not “checked in” to a program we use that lets us know they are ready for each job assignment. I call her again.)

Captioner: *with slight annoyance* “Hello?”

Me: “Hi again, [Captioner]. [Client] is on the other line wanting to test. Are you ready to go yet?”

Captioner: *in a very annoyed tone* “No! I’m not home! I had to go sign papers for my mortgage, and I’m still at least five minutes away!”

(I was shocked. Not only is that unacceptable, but she didn’t tell me that the first time we spoke! I put her on hold so I could speak to our schedulers, who assign jobs to captioners, and I informed them of the situation. During all this, the client called several more times and spoke to several more coworkers who were all trying various ways to mitigate the situation without outright telling them how irresponsible our captioner was being. The schedulers, angry and knowing how important this client was, decided to instead contact a captioner who was essentially “on-call” for last-minute emergencies just like this. They called her to set her up, and SHE wasn’t home, either! Both captioners were told to call when they got home, and whoever called first would cover the show. The on-call captioner “won,” and we tested successfully with only a minute to spare. What an unnecessary headache.)

Not A High Chance Of Getting The Job

, , , , , , , , | Working | January 18, 2018

I am 17. I see a “Help Wanted” sign across the street from my high school. The shop is also across the street from a large university campus. I go in and ask for an application. This all proceeds as normal; the barista gives me an application and offers me a free drink.

The next day, I return to the coffee shop to turn in my completed application. The barista directs me to the manager and I turn my application in to him. While busy, he seems friendly enough, and offers to give me an interview at 4:00 pm the next day.

I show up the following day about ten minutes early. The manager is nowhere in sight, so I inform the barista that I am ready for him, and once again, I am offered a free drink. I sit in the coffee shop and wait for the manager to come.

And wait.

After an hour with no sign of the manager, I ask the barista if my interview has been cancelled. The barista, who seems to have forgotten I was there, yelps in surprise and tells me that the manager isn’t in. She then goes to the back and calls him. She returns and tells me that he stepped out to run some errands and should be back in about 20 minutes.

The manager finally arrives, and after getting directions from the barista, comes over to me with a stack of applications. He shuffles through the papers, finds my application, and skims over it. He looks up at me and says, “You’re in high school?”

I answer, “Yes.”

“Sorry, we’re actually only looking for college students right now, because they have more availability.” The manager then dismisses me before I even have the chance to explain that I only take classes in the morning.

Taking The Mystery Out Of It

, , , , , , , | Working | January 18, 2018

(I’m training to be a salesperson for a mattress store. After we finish training, my district manager says this:)

District Manager: “So, before you go out on the floor, I want you to go into one of our stores and pretend to be a shopper.”

Me: “Like a mystery shopper?”

District Manager: “Exactly! See if they’re following the sales module like they’re supposed to and write it down on this paper.” *gives me a sheet*

(I go and, to be honest, I’m pretty excited because I’ve never been a mystery shopper and it sounds fun. I pretend to be interested in a buying a bed. There’s an old man working there, watching TV at a desk in the corner. He looks up and smiles but doesn’t get up.)

Me: “Hi, I’m looking for a bed.”

Old Man: “Yeah, you can try out beds if you like.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I leave and he says nothing. On my sheet, I write that he didn’t try out the sales module with me, and that he didn’t seem very interested. Under the question: “Do you think he passed or failed in trying to sell?” I put “Failed.” Skip forward a week, I am assigned a store to work in: the very same one that I went into! And there’s the same old man, still sitting at the desk, except not watching TV.)

District Manager: “[Old Man], this is [My Name]. She’s new.”

Old Man: “Hello!” *shakes my hand*

District Manager: “She came in here about a week ago. Do you remember her?”

Old Man: *smile fades* “Oh… Yeah!”

District Manager: “She pretended to be a shopper. And she says you failed!”

(The man shoots a look at me and I cringe. I didn’t expect to be put on the spot like this!)

District Manager: *scolding* “Yeah. She said that you were very uninterested in making a sale with her while she played a shopper! Do we have to train you again?”

Old Man: “Uh, no! I was… um… I thought she was a Muslim, and they’re very hoity-toity… Uh…” *flails*

(That’s the story of how I got stuck working with someone I had failed in sales. Needless to say, he was very cold with me and didn’t bother to help me when I had a questions. Things were so bad after that, I quit. I’m also not sure why he thought I was Muslim.)